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Old 09-10-2011, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,297 posts, read 120,922,132 times
Reputation: 35920

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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
There is tremendous change in a child's capabilities between elementary school and high school. I think we can all agree that a nine-year-old requires much more academic supervision than a sixteen-year-old. It is not a given that a parent who closely monitors her young child's progress will be unable to loose the reins as he advances.
You're right, but let me tell, you, it's hard! We've had these discussions at work in regard to our 20somethings.

 
Old 09-10-2011, 09:47 AM
 
4,389 posts, read 4,246,430 times
Reputation: 5878
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Where my kids went to school the teachers were available one day a week until 3:30. That's it.

Where in the country is that schedule from? It is not here, that is for darn sure. The average salary here you could live high and large on in Mississippi.
I'm in Mississippi. I make nowhere near $50K and I am not by any means living large. After 25 years of teaching, I bring home less than $30K after taxes, insurance, retirement, and other deductions. The cost of living isn't as low as you might think.

Fortunately, I love my job, and I try not to think about how the unpaid hours dilute my salary. It is discouraging to think that I may never break $50K in my career. If I had remained at NASA, I would probably be earning over $100K working for a contractor by now.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 09:56 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,163,985 times
Reputation: 30725
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I teach 16 year olds. On the second day of school I had one child's parent call me to ask why there were no grades in the portal (our online grading program).
There's something you might not have considered. That parent might have been abusive, not hovering.

Earlier this year, I took in a teenager who was kicked out of his parents house at 17, seven months before he graduated high school. Prior being kicked out, his parents monitored the online grade books daily. They didn't do it because they were hovering. They did it because they were abusive. He spent most of the 11th grade grounded. He wasn't allowed out on weekdays. He was only allowed out for a few hours on the weekend if his grades were good. If the teacher hadn't put the grades into the portal for that week, he wasn't allowed out even though his grades always ended up good when the teachers finally posted them. By the last term, every teacher made sure they posted his grades before the weekend, not because his parents were calling demanding to know his grades (they weren't) but because he started begging teachers to post his grades so he could go out for a couple of hours.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 10:02 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,063,684 times
Reputation: 4513
That's heart-breaking, Hopes.

On the other hand, I have a very good friend who requires that her children print out their grades for review every Friday before granting them permission to go out, but I don't think it falls into the range of abuse. They were having problems with their middle child "forgetting" to do his assignments. It fixed the problem lickety-split!
 
Old 09-10-2011, 10:15 AM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,763,236 times
Reputation: 20853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
There's something you might not have considered. That parent might have been abusive, not hovering.

Earlier this year, I took in a teenager who was kicked out of his parents house at 17, seven months before he graduated high school. Prior being kicked out, his parents monitored the online grade books daily. They didn't do it because they were hovering. They did it because they were abusive. He spent most of the 11th grade grounded. He wasn't allowed out on weekdays. He was only allowed out for a few hours on the weekend if his grades were good. If the teacher hadn't put the grades into the portal for that week, he wasn't allowed out even though his grades always ended up good when the teachers finally posted them. By the last term, every teacher made sure they posted his grades before the weekend, not because his parents were calling demanding to know his grades (they weren't) but because he started begging teachers to post his grades so he could go out for a couple of hours.
I have worked in districts where I have seen childrens' medications sold by their parents, where they come in dirty and not fed since lunch provided by the school the day before, with bruises the size and shape of fists, and kids who actually think "stupid a-hole" is synonymous with their name so I suspect my definition of abuse is probably different than yours.

IMO an overly strict parent should not be lumped in with one who truly ABUSES their child either verbally or physically since it makes being grounded all the time on the same level with being neglected and beaten. Sure, it is bad parenting based on what you described but it is still not abuse. Additionally, the only thing that qualifies based on what you stated above is that they threw an underage child out. That is abuse and they should be reported to family services for it.

Based on what you said above, I stand by the fact that those parents are HOVER parents. If there are indicators that the child is actually being abused I would of course report them. But hover parents are mostly embarrassing for students and stressful for teachers not abusive.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 10:26 AM
 
Location: State of INSANITY
183 posts, read 265,053 times
Reputation: 410
Whoever said there are not that many jobs that require 24/7/365 commitment, must certainly not have served in, nor been married to, the armed services. So many of them have so many days' leave built up that they can't use right now, cause they are too busy going to Afghanistan or covering at home for those who are. Their salaries are not all that high and the compensation is constantly being chinked away by our bloated gov't.

Nor were they likely a medical professional like a nurse or doctor. I know nurse managers who work their regular 40-50 hours a week on salary, who have 24/7 accountability on that same, not very high, salary. I too, am a bit weary of the complaints from teachers about their off-duty time spent doing work. They need to talk to my husband, who, while he works out of home, is in sales and works no less than 70-80 hours a week all the time, on a salary. Just like some teachers. And I can't remember a single vacation we took where work did not have to get done while we were gone. He constantly gets calls on his cell he has to take and handle. I do not complain, however.

My new motto: BE GLAD WE HAVE A JOB----it applies to my husband and me, for sure. Double digit unemployment exists where I am and I am sure such complaints would really fall on deaf ears here. Too many people out of work, unemployment running out, who are desperate for any job. Heck, even McDonald's is being choosy here. It really is that bad.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 10:46 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,163,985 times
Reputation: 30725
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I have worked in districts where I have seen childrens' medications sold by their parents, where they come in dirty and not fed since lunch provided by the school the day before, with bruises the size and shape of fists, and kids who actually think "stupid a-hole" is synonymous with their name so I suspect my definition of abuse is probably different than yours.

IMO an overly strict parent should not be lumped in with one who truly ABUSES their child either verbally or physically since it makes being grounded all the time on the same level with being neglected and beaten. Sure, it is bad parenting based on what you described but it is still not abuse. Additionally, the only thing that qualifies based on what you stated above is that they threw an underage child out. That is abuse and they should be reported to family services for it.

Based on what you said above, I stand by the fact that those parents are HOVER parents. If there are indicators that the child is actually being abused I would of course report them. But hover parents are mostly embarrassing for students and stressful for teachers not abusive.
You have NO IDEA! They were abusive, not merely overly strict. Abuse isn't restricted to beating and neglecting. Isolating children is typical of most abusers. Isolation is the biggest red flag because it's the most common denominator in almost all forms of abuse. As a matter of fact, I know two children whose parents were court ordered via CYS to allow their children daily time outside of the house when not in school or working. Keeping a child a prisoner isn't merely strict. And it's sad that only bruises and dirty clothes are considered signs of abuse from professionals who are mandated to report abuse. There are many well groomed, bruiseless abuse victims out there with other signs of abuse that are too easily overlooked.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 11:14 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,942 posts, read 22,573,580 times
Reputation: 25816
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aconite View Post
With all due respect, I've volunteered in the schools extensively (hundreds of hours) every year I had a child enrolled-- and I would allow rabid badgers to chew open my femoral artery before I would join a PTA board.
Well, I have to say - this might have been a wise decision on your part!

I did the board thing because I didn't have a lot of free time to be at the school every day.

Oh ~ the stories I could tell!!!
 
Old 09-10-2011, 11:37 AM
 
28,163 posts, read 25,347,888 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
I'm not sure just what you're arguing here, but in my district, and I daresay most districts, teachers get paid for this extra time, either in money or extra days off.
Which they should.
 
Old 09-10-2011, 11:45 AM
 
28,163 posts, read 25,347,888 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
There is tremendous change in a child's capabilities between elementary school and high school. I think we can all agree that a nine-year-old requires much more academic supervision than a sixteen-year-old. It is not a given that a parent who closely monitors her young child's progress will be unable to loosen the reins as he advances.


I am involved in my children's educations. However, I do not have the time nor the desire to go over numbers standardized testing or any other such things.

I'm concerned whether or not they are learning and absorbing the material. I do think there is such a thing as being over involved.
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