I'm worried about my son

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by fallingwater

You're welcome. I think you got a sensitive kid on your hands. My son is sensitive as well. I am sensitive. Geez...what a combo My husband is the polar opposite so he is like geez oh peets! Your son might be feeling more low about the girlfriend than you think. Teens are hard to read. Sometimes you think its one thing and find out it is something completely different that you never thought of. Keep us posted!

Excellent point! It might be all about the girlfriend and nothing to do with friends.

Originally Posted by fallingwater

^^^^guilty. I thought by being super excited would encourage him instead it just upset him more and for the exact reasons you mentioned. So now when he says he is going to do something, I'm like..."Oh ya? That's cool" but on the inside trumpets are playing, confetti is falling...

You described it perfectly!

[leanansidhex]

That your son had a friend (the friend left to go college) that was older than him, and that he likes Lady Gaga are really good signs.

Being interesting enough to have an older friend is an ego boost, and an opportunity to learn vicariously, a prep for situations he may encounter in the coming years.

Being confident enough to defend his choice of music, especially since Lady Gaga isn't generally appreciated by the pretty, popular people. Exactly the point!

There are 3 separate links:

Click on this one below first,

Is it Lady Gaga? Who Do Teens Admire?

Click on the link below, second

10 Year Old YouTube Sensation Maria Aragon On Ellen (FULL) - Videos - MetaTube




Play this video last:



FULL - Lady Gaga & Maria Aragon - Born This Way (Live in Toronto) 3.3.11 - FIRST TIME - - YouTube

[nimchimpsky]

I was a lot like your son in HS. It was just where I was in life. I am much more social now but I didn't want to socialize then. I wouldn't be worried at all.

[Ringo1]

Thanks Guys ~ you are making me feel so much better.

And Hopes - thanks for your powerful post reminding me that my son does not need a label put on him. That that comment has stayed with you all these years. . . . and your Mother probably didn't even realize how much of an impact that had on you.

We went school shopping today and had a late lunch outside - I so enjoyed my time with him. (Though I couldn't get him to go to the movie We talked and talked and laughed.

He told me that he is glad that we moved here; that he has grown as a person for it. That in our old town (wealthy little suburb where everyone is keeping up with the Joneses) he spent too much time worrying what people were thinking and he doesn't have to do that anymore in this big pond.

He did tell me that he has not been able to form the strong friendship bonds here that he had at home ~ but he would rather stay here than move back home right now.

Well, actually, he wants to move back to our old STATE but not our old hometown. He wants to move to another little town - with a different swim team - (and the girl he keeps in touch with whose name was never mentioned). I can't promise him that and told him so. I'm not even sure it would be the right thing to do. For sure, the schools would not compare.

He wants to go on college visits this year and we talked about the ones he has his eye on.

So . . . I do feel better; he seems like he has it together. Yes, I would love for him to relax and let his hair down a bit . . . but maybe he will yet.

So, I appreciate everyone's comments and insights. I've never been a teen-age boy, and this is my first time parenting one ~ so I can definitely learn from the experience of others.

[Hopes]

I'm so glad to hear you had a great, meaningful day together. Your son sounds wise beyond his years, Ringo.

[leanansidhex]

WOW You should be sharing advice on how to raise a son like yours!

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Ringo1

Really worried.

Here's the deal. He's kind of a loner but always had 2-3 good friends.

Since we moved to our new state and a much bigger city/school; he has spent more time at home than I can ever remember. Ever. All week-end; Friday nights. No football games; homecoming, movies; nothing. Unless swim season is in (he swims year round); he rarely leaves the house.

I'm worried sick about it.

He's 16 and just got his license. He never asks to drive anywhere - other than school and practice.

He had a girlfriend for a while this summer ~ and was always off doing things. She was a year older and had her license.

Now . . back to being alone.

Since he's 16 - I can't take him along with me to shop or see a movie or go for a walk . . . because he doesn't want to be seen with his Mother. I can't grill him with questions because I'll just make it worse.

He's smart; he's funny; and he's handsome. And I'm not just saying that. He does well in school; well in his chosen sport . . . . what's wrong? I know he keeps in close touch with his friends back home and one particular girl . . . but when I ask ~ he never says he wants to move back home.

I feel like crying every time I think about it. Why is he so alone?

Probably nothing is wrong. Some kids aren't all that social and more and more with social networking on the internet, they do their socializing there. He may be staying in touch with his couple of friends on facebook or myspace or messaging with them.

Some kids really don't socialize much with kids at school but once they get a part time job will start hanging out with those people. School is an artificial environment socially and a lot of kids just go to school because they have to but it's not the center of their lives, when they start working or go to college, their social lives improve.