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Hello everyone! I am the oldest child among four children, and am 28. My youngest sibling is 22. We have been blessed with caring and loving parents despite them having divorced when we were very little.
I love my father, and so do my siblings, but he bought a huge house in the Chicago suburbs just so he can keep my siblings in the same school district (I had already graduated college). Unfortunately he also took on the majority of my siblings' student debt and also bounced around from job to job as an attorney (rationale he couldn't stay in one place too long: moral reasons).
He's led a long life, often deluded by his own fairytale beliefs of what is "right" but he is also caring. Just don't disagree with him, lol.
So now he has quit the latest job and can't find work. He has about 3-4 months of savings built up to keep paying the mortgage and other things, but he is selling his house now. I offered to have him live with myself and my wife to save money while the economy recovers, but he is stuck in this mentality of "renting is for losers" and can't believe that we're still renting in Seattle. One sibling doesn't want him living with him as he just started out and doesn't want him "invading his privacy" and the other two are still in college and can't support him.
So now us siblings don't know what to do. He's done an awful lot for everyone but is awfully nosy and can't seem to hold a job. He took a high paying job he hated early on because he wanted to support us, and we think it is time for him to rest and maybe retire.
Any suggestions? On one hand he is an adult and we think he should be held responsible for his actions but he is also our father.
Honestly I don't really understand the question. So 3 of you can't take your dad in, but you can and you've offered to do so. I think offering to take him in is the right thing to do for a parent but whether or not he takes you up on the offer is up to him.
Honestly I don't really understand the question. So 3 of you can't take your dad in, but you can and you've offered to do so. I think offering to take him in is the right thing to do for a parent but whether or not he takes you up on the offer is up to him.
Yeah, that's basically what I'm looking for ... I guess, affirmation that I am doing the right thing.
And I was soliciting ideas just in case anyone came up with something better.
he is a big boy and although it is good you 'respect' that he has helped you & your sibs, you may not be able to 'help' him now. Offer what you can & move on. If he were elderly or had health issues, then you might need to be more involved in helping him. He will survive, pick himself up and move on. but has he asked specifically for help from y'all??
Good luck
he is a big boy and although it is good you 'respect' that he has helped you & your sibs, you may not be able to 'help' him now. Offer what you can & move on. If he were elderly or had health issues, then you might need to be more involved in helping him. He will survive, pick himself up and move on. but has he asked specifically for help from y'all??
Good luck
No, not yet. I know he is too stubborn and would rather go down in a blazing fireball before accepting money/housing from his kids. I personally don't see what the fuss is about - people in other cultures live with their parents all the time.
But you're right, he will survive, he's always found a way before. We will just hope he can do so with dignity.
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