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I think the only thing you can do is to say, "Well I think the Tooth Fairy's real, and I think she's going to leave $100 bucks under your pillow - so why don't we just wait and see? Suzy/Johnny/Luanne don't know everything, and I believe she's coming".
By the way, Fin, can your tooth fairy come to my house? My daughter just lost a molar on Thursday, and another will come out any day. We could use a couple of bones!!
By the way, Fin, can your tooth fairy come to my house? My daughter just lost a molar on Thursday, and another will come out any day. We could use a couple of bones!!
When my daughter was told by another child that santa etc weren't real I just told her that some kids don't believe and if they don't santa, tooth fairy etc. don't go to their house.
Now, when she finally figured it out I did tell her that she was not to go telling other kids that may still believe. Also, I told her that if it came up in conversation she was NOT to say anything, she was to just smile and change the subject.
Obviously, kids hear things from other kids all of the time, however, what do
You do when they are telling your daughters about getting their periods or " how babies are made", or telling your youngest who hasn't even lost a tooth yet, that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy?
My oldest is almost 9 and so it is okay that she is hearing about girls getting their period, we have had brief conversations , but I have yet to sit down &
have a full conversation about babies,etc.. And she has now been given some incorrect and confusing information that I need to "fix".
Most oif this information is coming from a neighbor who has several sisters , but she is also only 8 and she obviously doesn't understand what she is hearing or being told and the conversations are becoming more common, she seems obsessed with talking about girls getting their periods.
As for the tooth fairy, she has completely upset my 5 year old who hasn't lost a tooth yet and I know things have been said about Santa as well.
Would it be right for me to say something to her mom about this?
I think if a fellow mom came to me and said "Little Miss Aconite told Isabella where babies come from" my response would be something along the lines of "uh...okay. Did she go with detailed anatomical sketches, or did she just say "China"?" (Could be either, in this neighborhood.) I'd have a hard time giving it the serious concern a PArent On A Mission probably would think it warrants.
OTOH, we have a friend whose mom, even when he was 12, thought he still believed in Santa and asked me to be sure LMA and Manchild didn't spill the beans. We went along, because she alerted us before the fact. (Though FTR, he hadn't for while, according to Manchild.)
Kids have been hearing things from neighbor children for ages. Sometimes it's even accurate.
If my kids have questions or want something clarified that they heard elsewhere, they ask. If they ask directly, I don't lie. (I may weasel occasionally, but I won't lie.) So far, no one's died from it, and I don't know any adults who still believe that women get pregnant by lying side by side with a naked man.
When my daughter was told by another child that santa etc weren't real I just told her that some kids don't believe and if they don't santa, tooth fairy etc. don't go to their house.
Now, when she finally figured it out I did tell her that she was not to go telling other kids that may still believe. Also, I told her that if it came up in conversation she was NOT to say anything, she was to just smile and change the subject.
This is what I always did, and am still doing. I do know of one mom whose child went around to all in the class telling them Santa/tooth fairy/etc. wasn't real, and it was very annoying as he made fun of the kids who did believe. But the mother was the type that wouldn't have cared about other kid's feelings so I never brought it up to her, it would have been a waste of time. Some parents just don't take other kids feelings into consideration when explaining things to their kids, so all you can do is explain that some believe, some don't.
When my daughter was told by another child that santa etc weren't real I just told her that some kids don't believe and if they don't santa, tooth fairy etc. don't go to their house.
Now, when she finally figured it out I did tell her that she was not to go telling other kids that may still believe. Also, I told her that if it came up in conversation she was NOT to say anything, she was to just smile and change the subject.
I would not confront the Mom.
I wouldn't, either. What would be the point? Besides, I think the other explanations parents have given about believing or "our house" or whatever will suffice, because the kids want to believe. That's part of the fun of being a kid. When my dd was around five, she asked if it was really daddy and mommy who bought the presents and wrapped them and then just pretended they were from somebody named Santa Claus, because she didn't see how he could visit all the children in one night. I told her OF COURSE there was Santa and he was magic and all that. I think she got the message that I wanted her to believe in Santa Claus for a little while longer, and so she did.
Don't talk to the parents. Kids are always sharing information with each other. If it's inaccurate then you can fix it by talking to your kids and correcting any bad info. I agree with other posters that your daughter is at the age to talk about periods. At 9 my mom took me to this class with other boys and girls about the same age to discuss puberty related things (so yes, we learned about boys and boys learned about girls).
And the whole Santa/Tooth Fairy thing is easy to dismiss (there are several good suggestions already in the thread).
We don't do Tooth Fairy or Santa. No one has to go shouting from the roof that it's all made up, but at the same time I am not going to tell my kids to lie about it if the conversation comes up. That would defeat the purpose of not participating in these things in the first place. How they choose to handle it, is up to them.
So if my kid says, "my mommy said that some kids believe in it, but it's not true" please tell me how you would confront me on this. I am very interested in this.
I don't think "confront" would be the term I would use, as it's certainly not a confrontation. I'm friendly with my neighbors, and I would just mention to them that this is going on. As I said, I don't think a 9 year old talking to a 9 year old about periods, boys, or the tooth fairy is a big deal, it's going to happen. But if my 9 year old was discussing these things with a 5 year old, I would really appreciate a heads up so I can take the opportunity to discuss consideration and tolerance, as I (erroneously) assumed others might as well. There are lot of beliefs I consider and teach my kids as "truths", yet I also teach them that these are not necessarily other's beliefs, and they need to be respectfull.
A hundred bucks for a tooth? Dang. If I was a kid, I'd be knocking my baby teeth out intentionally. I'd be rich! We only got a quarter, and it was no secret that tooth fairy = mom. It was just a make-believe game, and we played it, because it was a fun game to play.
...as I am about my 5 year old who hasn't even lost a tooth yet, being to,d there is no such thing as the tooth fairy.
At this age, the best magic-sustaining, anti-innocence-stealing method is the child waking up to a dollar under her pillow.
Even the know-it-all 13-17 year olds swiftly clam up when their "aw, there is no Santa" are countered "fine, no presents under the tree this year."
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