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I don't think this child has special needs, I think this child does whatever he wants. The mother said, 'he won't listen'??? Are you serious?! Then obviously the discipline and punishments have not been affective. BINGO!!
I just hope that she's not weeping at his funeral one day because she just didn't want to "hurt little Tommy's feelings" by being the disciplinarian.
I can't imagine what this kid will be doing at sixteen, if he makes it that long.
I don't think this child has special needs, I think this child does whatever he wants. The mother said, 'he won't listen'??? Are you serious?! Then obviously the discipline and punishments have not been affective.
I just hope that she's not weeping at his funeral one day because she just didn't want to "hurt little Tommy's feelings" by being the disciplinarian.
Seriously, you cannot know that he doesn't have special needs. Not listening can easily be a sign that
1. He doesn't hear well and thus cannot understand what his parents are saying to him.
2. He has a problem processing speech such as NVLD.
3. He has impulse control problems (ADD or ADHD) and thus cannot control his impulses even when he does hear what his mom is saying.
4. He has autism and needs to be in control and he may need visual supports to understand what he needs to do or in this case not do.
People on a forum like this one do NOT have all the information to understand. Now, he may not be special needs, but frankly, from the description his mom gave of doing it because he used to race another child and continuing it this year even though the other child is no longer on the bus, he sounds very much like an autistic child who is *scripting* what he should always do when he gets off the bus.
Seriously, you cannot know that he doesn't have special needs. Not listening can easily be a sign that
1. He doesn't hear well and thus cannot understand what his parents are saying to him.
2. He has a problem processing speech such as NVLD.
3. He has impulse control problems (ADD or ADHD) and thus cannot control his impulses even when he does hear what his mom is saying.
4. He has autism and needs to be in control and he may need visual supports to understand what he needs to do or in this case not do.
People on a forum like this one do NOT have all the information to understand. Now, he may not be special needs, but frankly, from the description his mom gave of doing it because he used to race another child and continuing it this year even though the other child is no longer on the bus, he sounds very much like an autistic child who is *scripting* what he should always do when he gets off the bus.
I've reached the conclusion that something is dreadfully wrong with this boy and may suspect #3 or/and 4 on your list although I'm not an expert. According to his nanny (she is the nanny, not a relative), he is quite brilliant in school although would walk around the class and not listen to the teacher. Now he is a bit better about staying in the chair. She also feels that he doesn't have boundaries at him. He is an only child and in the nanny's words, "Is quite spoiled." He is allowed to "play" until after dinner and does his homework very close to bedtime. The kid doesn't get into bed until 10-11 ish each night and has to be roused from bed in time for school. She told me that he is quite a challenge and runs and runs around the house.
Anyway, today it was a rainy day and he gets off the bus. She is worried that she can't catch him so she is right at the stop. As usual, the sprints start. I have my son walk ahead of him to slow him down. The boy has a big (rather empty) smile on his face, doesn't really acknowledge anyone. Then makes a dash for the street. I grabbed him and he turns into a wildcat trying to get away and making almost animal wimpering noises. She caught up and off he goes running home.
I did get the mom's permission to help grab him but wow, something is amiss. I dread the day when the nanny is late and he sprints off the bus. I will have to grab him and it will turn into an ugly situation.
Oh well, I've tried and will continue to try top be a good neighbor.
Thank you for looking out for that boy, Linmora. I hope his mom is able to resolve the issue soon.
Thank you for the note of support.
I probably needed to reword what I typed when I said "dreadfully wrong." Wrong choice of words and I apologize if I offended anyone. Just the heat of my frustration and venting before I took the kids to their activites this afternoon.
One good point, I am becoming friends with the nanny and we have some nice afternoon chats.
I've reached the conclusion that something is dreadfully wrong with this boy and may suspect #3 or/and 4 on your list although I'm not an expert. According to his nanny (she is the nanny, not a relative), he is quite brilliant in school although would walk around the class and not listen to the teacher. Now he is a bit better about staying in the chair. She also feels that he doesn't have boundaries at him. He is an only child and in the nanny's words, "Is quite spoiled." He is allowed to "play" until after dinner and does his homework very close to bedtime. The kid doesn't get into bed until 10-11 ish each night and has to be roused from bed in time for school. She told me that he is quite a challenge and runs and runs around the house.
Anyway, today it was a rainy day and he gets off the bus. She is worried that she can't catch him so she is right at the stop. As usual, the sprints start. I have my son walk ahead of him to slow him down. The boy has a big (rather empty) smile on his face, doesn't really acknowledge anyone. Then makes a dash for the street. I grabbed him and he turns into a wildcat trying to get away and making almost animal wimpering noises. She caught up and off he goes running home.
I did get the mom's permission to help grab him but wow, something is amiss. I dread the day when the nanny is late and he sprints off the bus. I will have to grab him and it will turn into an ugly situation.
Oh well, I've tried and will continue to try top be a good neighbor.
I am glad you are looking out for him. It does seem like he needs an evaluation and some help. I would bet that the school has suggested getting an appointment for an evaluation. Are the parents in denial or do you think they would be amenable to a suggestion that they need help to deal with his behavior. It cannot be easy to have a child up so late either.
Many autistic kids have sleep disorders and the sleep deprivation drives some of the behaviors you see.
That kid needs a good old fashioned spanking. And so do his parents.
Another idea is to take the kid for a walk to the nearest fresh roadkill and point out exactly what happens to creatures who run into the street.
Messy, but effective.
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