Child Running Out Into Traffic--Input Needed (ideas, support, friend, mom)
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Even so, that is why I asked if it was possible the nanny was downplaying it to the mother. "Oh MrsSoandSo, you know those mothers. So overprotective. Little Johnny stepped off of the sidewalk for a second. There weren't even any cars around. I was able to get control of him right away though."
I could see that happening very easily.
I know ultimately this is the parents (both of them) responsibility, but the immediate responsibility lies with the nanny. I'm sure she doesn't want to lose her job, and probably doesn't let on to the parents what a big issue it actually is. That would require her admitting that she can't handle the kid. I bet the parents don't realize what is really happening.
Once she catches up, the nanny should lead him by the arm, walking, back to where he dropped his backpack, make him pick it up, and make him carry it home, holding on to him the whole way, if that's what is necessary. If she is not able to do that, she needs to have a serious talk with the parents.
There are a number of reasons not to do this. The firs that comes to mind is not being able to take the responsibility on. The "help" that would be necessary in this case seems to me to be all the time. If she cannot commit to that, then she is not doing much.
Furthermore, I believe that "help" can be just another enabler/ way to get taken advantage of. Once upon a time, I offered help to a parent who was coaching his son's football team. His wife filed for divorce. he had no where to go nearby, so was going to have to stop being near/coaching his son. I offered him our spare room until the season was over or he found another place, whichever came first.
I had to ask him to leave, after he basically moved in for good.
The OPs scene is the same. She cannot own this problem. The problem is not hers. The mother/nanny/whomever who is RESPONSIBLE for this child need to own it.
Helping is a ride to the grocery store, a cup of sugar, helping with lawn care once in a while. Not taking over child care responsibility.
No, helping is helping your neighbors when you see they need assistance. I mean, honestly, is that much trouble to help the kid? Is it that much trouble to be an extra pair of eyes for someone that obviously needs the help?
Child care responsibility? REALLY? It's making sure a small child doesn't get hit by a car in his overzealousness.
Sorry but I completely disagree with this whole "not my responsibility" nonsense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
Judge smudge. The mom is responsible for the very life of her child. That child is in imminent risk of being ended by a car unless I badly misunderstand the original post. Something a little more direct than talking to him is necessary. If we were talking about curbing his great snickers habit, it would be another matter. But this situation is rather serious.
If the child is in imminent risk of being hit by a car and mom is at work, why can't OP (or another neighbor) simply help the kid?
My goodness. Cannot believe the concept is so foreign for some.
I know ultimately this is the parents (both of them) responsibility, but the immediate responsibility lies with the nanny. I'm sure she doesn't want to lose her job, and probably doesn't let on to the parents what a big issue it actually is. That would require her admitting that she can't handle the kid. I bet the parents don't realize what is really happening.
Once she catches up, the nanny should lead him by the arm, walking, back to where he dropped his backpack, make him pick it up, and make him carry it home, holding on to him the whole way, if that's what is necessary. If she is not able to do that, she needs to have a serious talk with the parents.
the kid needs a consequence.
Yes, this.
And the other parents are trying to do the right thing. One concern regarding accepting responsibility for this child, who it would assume they don't know well, nor the family, is that if they intervene, and heaven forbid something bad happens, they will also be blamed. This is ultimately the responsibility of the parents, and by extension the nanny, and the school.
Snark attack aside, because it does not solve the ultimate problem.
: smack: I can't believe the concept is so foreign to some people.
I think I will add an eye roll.
Winning friends and influencing people? Huh?
I think it's crazy that the concept of helping a neighbor's young son not get hit by a car is considered so "out there" and "unproductive". What happened to just helping because you can?
Solving the ultimate problem? Ok great. More high minded ideals. The immediate problem is the kid getting hit by a car. I'm sure he will grow out of it but until then there is no problem (honest!) with helping your neighbors.
Snark or not, I find the attitude of "not my responsibility" pretty revolting.
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