family of 6 needing some advise on what to do. My kids 18 & 15, my husbands kids 16 & 12, my stepson who is 12 is being made to make a hard decision. He visits his natural mom and stepdad and, Lives with his dad and I. We have been married for 9 yrs and together 11 yrs. Yes the mother left them. She has come back into their lives now that all the work is almost over?? They can feed themselves, cloth themselves, i am their mother, I might not of givin birth to them but damn it... this isnt right.
his 16 yr old has been living with his mom for 2 yrs now, and my husband forgave child support because she had one and he had one kid. ( they had Joint- custody with my husband having the final say on things) the 12 yr old goes up to his moms house ever other weekend. when he is mad at us, he complains to her about how rotten we are. we were recently served with court docs...she is now fighing for full custody of both kids, and wants my husband to pay childsupport, medical, dental...ect... anyways the 12 yr old is very torn, he didnt realize that by complaining to his mom, not working it out with us that this would happen. He thought the grass was greener on the other side of I-5! this would pull him out of school , the kids that he has grown up with, and limits my husband, the father with visitation only a few days a month. The 12 yr old told his mom that this isnt what he wanted but, to keep everything the same. She told him its too late. Attorneys are involved! she even has gone as far as to post things onto facebook regarding this.
We have had good times and bad as with any step-family, blended family whatever you want to call it these days.
the 12yr old is acting out, throwing tantrums, not doing well in school, lying and stealing. tonight we came home from town, had a wonderful dinner with the kids at a new local place, to find a photograph of him (12 yr old) taken out of the frame, I didnt understand, I started looking around at the others on the walls, tables and desks. there are a total of 2 frames and 3 pictures taken out of these frames and destroyed. I was upset when i had to look in the fireplace/woodstove to find them not there but under the garbage can area crumpled up. I have only found 2 8x10 s still looking for the other 5x7.... What am i to do as a step-mom... and i hate that word with a passion, Im at the end of my rope. I dont know what to do. The father doesnt discipline the boys, oh yeah I forgot they are all boys, when its his two he sweeps things under the rug and doesnt want to talk about it, when its my two he wants them punished.
my husband has asked me not to do anything about this, that he will talk to the 12 yr old. I feel that this isnt going to be resolved, just like my knotty cherry wood cabinets that were stabbed with a steak knife. that was never delt with either.
Please give me some advise- before I loose my rope.
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