Should Parents be expected to Respect their children? (divorce, weight, kid)
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The child in the OP was about 11? That's old enough to know when it's respectful to be quiet.
I am 44, and apparently I don't know when it is respectful to be quiet. I *thought* it was respectful to be quiet when someone else was speaking and not interupt. Silly me!
I'm 23 and today I was eating out with some friends. Next to us was a family, and the child, about 11, was telling his Mom and Grandmom how he loves subways and his grandmother intereppted him without saying excuse me and started a different converstation. The little boy said "Grandmom i was speaking" and his mother chimned in and said" It' doesn't matter, she's an adult, your a child" I felt so bad for that boy.
So do you think parents should respect children?
Do you believe in the quote "Children should be seen, not heard'
This is not an example I would use as the respect vs not respecting kids one.
This is just two women who are rude and self-absorbed.
You should have manners and courtesy for everyone, little or big.
There is a such thing as basic human respect. I don't think anyone should have to "earn" the right to be treated with dignity and respect. What would the requirements be for that anyway?
I don't know the cashier at the grocery store, or the teller at the bank, or the stranger standing next to me line. They haven't done a thing to earn any respect from me. Does that mean I can't smile, be polite, and speak respectfully to them? Even a homeless person on the street is worthy of at least human dignity, and children certainly are too. Respect should never be reserved only for people in positions of authority, especially when too many people are all too eager to take advantage of their authority.
We're not talking about basic politeness here. We're talking about respect, which is to hold one in esteem. I'm polite with the grocery store clerk because it's the right thing to do but I don't owe them respect just for existing. I owe it to them to treat them with basic human dignity. Anything beyond that is earned through accomplishment or position.
I expect the mayor of my city to treat me with dignity but I don't expect him to respect me. I, however, do respect him. He is in a position of authority. He has earned respect by gaining that position. Now, he can lose it through his actions but he's owed it if he doesn't.
I am 44, and apparently I don't know when it is respectful to be quiet. I *thought* it was respectful to be quiet when someone else was speaking and not interupt. Silly me!
It depends on who is talking. If you were talking and the president piped in, would you cut him off because he cut you off? If you were talking and the police officer who just pulled you over cut you off, would you cut him off in return? Would you complain that he was disrespecting you? People above us have the right to cut us off. What they have to say may be more important and their time is worth more than ours. If someone who is worthy of more respect than me deems what I have to say as wasting their time, they have the right to end the conversation or take it over.
When telemarketers call me, I, simply tell them I do not have time for this and hang up. I don't owe it to them to listen to them because they were talking first. THEY are wasting MY time. If I happen to have time to waste, I like to list all my complaints when they ask "How are you today?". They usually hang up about the time I'm complaining about the pain I have in my left hip these days..... Sometimes I get the feeling they really don't care how I'm doing today. Go figure.... However, if the mayor called me, I'd listen even if I didn't have the time because what he has to say could be more important than my time.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 08-16-2012 at 07:32 AM..
This is not an example I would use as the respect vs not respecting kids one.
This is just two women who are rude and self-absorbed.
You should have manners and courtesy for everyone, little or big.
I would disagree. This is how I was raised. What adults had to say was more important than what kids had to say. If my grandmother had cut me off, I would not have been arrogant enough to say "But I was talking first". I knew the pecking order.
When adults were talking, I was not. This included my parents, my grandparents, the preacher, my teachers and the neighbors. If I still had something to say, I waited until they were done talking. I was raised to show respect to adults.
I'm a teacher. My students are told that if I'm talking they are not. Period. It needs to be this way. I run a lab based class. If my students are not conditioned to stop talking when I start, regardless of who was talking first, they may miss important safety information. So, the rule is, if I'm talking, they are not. Period. What I have to say may be more important than what they have to say because I know a lot more than they do. That's why I stand in the front of the room and they are sitting with their peers in the middle.
It depends on who is talking. If you were talking and the president piped in, would you cut him off because he cut you off? If you were talking and the police officer who just pulled you over cut you off, would you cut him off in return? Would you complain that he was disrespecting you?
No, but that has nothing to do with respect. I agree with your other post that people are confusing respect and courtesy. I would not do any of the above because it would not be in my best interest to do so. But I don't respect people for the position that they hold. Particularly politicians! I respect people for accomplishments of value.
No, but that has nothing to do with respect. I agree with your other post that people are confusing respect and courtesy. I would not do any of the above because it would not be in my best interest to do so. But I don't respect people for the position that they hold. Particularly politicians! I respect people for accomplishments of value.
I disagree. This has everything to do with respect. The president is more deserving of it than I am so if he has something to say, even if I was talking first, I would not interrupt. I may not like the man but he is the chosen leader of my country. That is a respectable position.
I do respect people for the positions they hold, unless they show they do not deserve that respect, because I know they had to have done something to get that position. Are there people undeserving of respect in positions of respect? Sure. And once they show that to be true, all bets are off....unless we're talking adult/child. Then the child still defers. Children lack experience. They often don't know when they shouldn't be talking and should be listening.
I would disagree. This is how I was raised. What adults had to say was more important than what kids had to say. If my grandmother had cut me off, I would not have been arrogant enough to say "But I was talking first". I knew the pecking order.
While I am ALL about the elders being respected (please remember my culture) and deferred to a bit, I don't agree with the wholesale dynamic of rudeness just because you can be. Power is responsibility, and abuse of power is actually a great reason to lose respect for anyone.
My father, an extremely intelligent and powerful man, is also the kindest and most patient man I know. He would NEVER cut anyone off, regardless of age. So while you do have the power and privilege to do something, I think what these women did to the boy was RUDE regardless of their perogative to do it.
I disagree. This has everything to do with respect. The president is more deserving of it than I
Why is he more deserving of it than you? You are entitled to hold in esteem whatever you like. And if postition does it for you, then great. I don't hold ANY esteem for postition whatsoever. Character, integrity, uintelligence, charity, forebearance. Yes. Position? No.
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. Sometimes I get the feeling they really don't care how I'm doing today. Go figure.... However, if the mayor called me, I'd listen even if I didn't have the time because what he has to say could be more important than my time.
I respect people for accomplishments of value.