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For all she knows the parents of the girl may not even know! Hell who knows the girl may be making the whole damn story up out of spite. Like I said wait until the baby is born. If she want's the OP's son to sign anything he needs to say "NO" until there is a paternity test (which won't be done until after the baby is born). Most importantly he needs to stay in school, and go to college/vocation school if he wants to make a decent living. There is really no need for a lawyer until paternity is established, so save some money. If he is the father then you will need a lawyer if he wants visitation. As for the child support that will be set by the state, so a lawyer is not needed for that. His income and her income will be put into a calculator to determine what he owes. Again he needs to stay in school as long as he can because he's not going to want to say "you want fries with that?" his whole life.
Yes of course she must be lying And the OP said her parents know.
Why would she want to contact the parents now??? There is no baby yet and nobody knows if there will be one at all. Why stir something now? What would it change?
Because if it's not his it gets it dealt with quicker, and out of the way. If not he can establish his paternity and legal rights/obligations. Plus it might be nice he offer some support and all.
Because if it's not his it gets it dealt with quicker, and out of the way. If not he can establish his paternity and legal rights/obligations. Plus it might be nice he offer some support and all.
There's no way of knowing whether or not it's his until the kid is born. No sense trying to do anything about it now, considering that it might never even be born.
Yes of course she must be lying And the OP said her parents know.
The OP only knows what the girl tells her son. Yes the girl has proven herself to be a liar about who the father is, so really who knows what else she's lying about.
Because if it's not his it gets it dealt with quicker, and out of the way. If not he can establish his paternity and legal rights/obligations. Plus it might be nice he offer some support and all.
There is nothing that could be dealt quicker, as a matter of fact until the baby is born there is nothing to deal with and no legal obligations of any kind to anybody. Nobody knows if there will be a baby at all. From what I read nobody wants her son to be involved in any way.
Suggest OP finds this a "teaching moment" for the son about how to proceed in his sexually active future, regardless of the results of the immediate drama (which other posters have very nicely covered).
1. The boy is a legal adult. Let him handle it however he wishes (do nothing, stay out of it).
-or-
2. The boy wants to be a part of the child's life. Wants to protect his parental rights. Then get a lawyer now.
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3. The boy does not want to have a thing to do with the child or his mother. Does not want to pay child support. Then do nothing. If the boy's name is placed on the birth certificate, THEN get a paternity test ASAP. And get a lawyer if it turns out he is not the father. He could still be required to pay child support if the records say he is the father.
Ok, I am begging anyone who responds to please only give helpful advice, not negative bashing. I really can't take that right now.
DS 18 told us today that he got a girl pregnant. The girl is 16 and they go to high school together. Yes he is still in high school as he stayed back in kindergarten. He said she is two months pregnant and she currently has a new boyfriend who is also 16. According to DS the new boyfriend is claiming to be the father because the girl doesn't want DS to get in trouble because of their age differences. The new boyfriend knows he is not the father though. So basically the only ones who don't know DS is the father are the girl's parents. I guess the "plan" is for the girl and the new boyfriend to claim the baby is theirs and live happily ever after. DS said he offered to help the girl (IDK how) but she says she doesn't want him to help. I guess she has also said she's thinking about an abortion because she can't take her heart medicine while pregnant. IDK all the facts about that but she has been to the doctor so I'm assuming if there were a risk to her or the baby then the doctor would have already suggested/advised her to have an abortion. I apoligize for the lack of clarity in this post but my head is still spinning from this information and I'm still not sure what to think.
Here's what I think should happen: We need to contact the girl's parents and find out if indeed she is planning on keeping it or having an abortion. I'm afraid DS will just tell us she had an abortion to make things easier on himself. If she's keeping it then DS needs to establish paternity.
From there, I don't know what else to do. He has a summer job that will be ending in another week. He has no license, no car. If it is his baby I don't know if the best course of action would be for him to get his ged and look for a full time to support the baby.
If you were in this situation what would you do?
This.
No matter what, your son has responsibility in this situation. You have responsibility for your son. Therefore, it's time for the parents to sit down and have a chat. No angry words. No accusations. Just a discussion of the current situation and what is best for the children, the baby, and the lives of both families.
The first thing to do is listen to them. It is their daughter, so they pretty much are calling the shots. I would seek to find out the information while staying mindful that they are making terrible, painful decisions, decisions for which there is no good answer.
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And the OP said her parents know.
