Mister and Miss [First Name] (method, grandma, learn, father)

[Finger Laker]

I personally find it odd that anyone would be offended or disrespected by being called their name .... it's your name.

From there I think it's a matter of formality and professinalism. There are certain professions that carry a title or a more formal greeting.

In social settings it's the same.

Growing up how we addressed people really depended on how we knew them. My friends parents who we typically had no interaction with other than that with my family usually had a mr/mrs unless otherwise stated.

My friends that we all spent a lot of time with and had more of a social relationship with tended to lean a little bit more towards the informal first name.

Neighbors were all first name - same with parents friends that we frequently were around

I think some of this also comes from the interaction our parents had with the adults ........ if they would say "go return this over to Jims house" and always referred to the neighbor as Jim then we would typically carry that forward .... same with friends - if we were going over to "Karen and Toms" and that was the name that was always used then that's what we knew ..... there were friends of my parents where I to this day do not know their actual last names

[reebo]

I'm 48 and I still address my parents' friends as Mr. and Mrs. LastName. We had one couple that insisted we call them by their first names now that we're adults--my sister still can't do it because the last name thing is so imbedded. I don't like kids to call me by my first name. I don't like service people/cashiers to call me by my first name. It is a matter of respect and intimacy. My oldest daughter is now 18 and I still tell her, it's Mr./Mrs. LastName until that person tells you otherwise.

[passwithoutatrace]

He is too young to talk, but he will be taught to address adults how they want to be addressed. The default is to use Mr. or Mrs. until told otherwise.

[Praline]

Originally Posted by reebo

I'm 48 and I still address my parents' friends as Mr. and Mrs. LastName. We had one couple that insisted we call them by their first names now that we're adults--my sister still can't do it because the last name thing is so imbedded. I don't like kids to call me by my first name. I don't like service people/cashiers to call me by my first name. It is a matter of respect and intimacy. My oldest daughter is now 18 and I still tell her, it's Mr./Mrs. LastName until that person tells you otherwise.

I agree I don't want kids and teenagers to see me as a peer, I'm an adult and I don't allow them to address me by my first name. When my daughter's boyfriend met me he said "Hi, what's your first name?" I said, "Ms." I still address my aunts and uncles as such and my parents' friends as Mr. or Mrs.

I think strangers addressing you by your first name is too casual, they don't know you well enough for that familiarity. When my doctor tried it (since he wants people to respect his education and position and refer to him as doctor), I immediately addressed him by his first name as well, and he looked startled and none to pleased. He quickly took the hint.

[Badfish740]

Originally Posted by Praline

I agree I don't want kids and teenagers to see me as a peer, I'm an adult and I don't allow them to address me by my first name. When my daughter's boyfriend met me he said "Hi, what's your first name?" I said, "Ms."

Good for you! When my wife and I were dating I couldn't imagine asking that question of her mother! Likewise, if a potential boyfriend or girlfriend of one of my children asks the same question, alarm bells will start going off.

[CrueRulz]

Originally Posted by Praline

I agree I don't want kids and teenagers to see me as a peer, I'm an adult and I don't allow them to address me by my first name. When my daughter's boyfriend met me he said "Hi, what's your first name?" I said, "Ms." I still address my aunts and uncles as such and my parents' friends as Mr. or Mrs.

I think strangers addressing you by your first name is too casual, they don't know you well enough for that familiarity. When my doctor tried it (since he wants people to respect his education and position and refer to him as doctor), I immediately addressed him by his first name as well, and he looked startled and none to pleased. He quickly took the hint.

I don't know how old you are, but I never have a problem with other adults calling me by my first name. It is my name, after all. I get your point, though.

[CrueRulz]

Originally Posted by Badfish740

Good for you! When my wife and I were dating I couldn't imagine asking that question of her mother! Likewise, if a potential boyfriend or girlfriend of one of my children asks the same question, alarm bells will start going off.

Agreed there. If they (the parents) TELL you "you can call me XXXXX" then that's fine. You (as a kid in this situation) don't ask unless you have a specific need to.

[P47P47]

My mom grew up in rural Arkansas in the 1930's. There was a guy in her town whose nickname was "Skinny". Everybody called him that. But little kids can't go calling a grown man "Skinny".


So the little kids called him "Mister Skinny".


But basically, "Mr. or Ms. Surname", and if the person being addressed makes the request, "Please call me 'XXXXX' ", then it is disrespectful to address them as anything other than "XXXXX".

[Rggr]

I prefer Mr. or Mrs. Last Name. My wife grew up with Mr. or Mrs. First Name for friends.

[jackmccullough]

I'm not in the OP's target demographic, but my two sons are approximately the same age as the OP and his wife. In our circles it was pretty much the standard thing for all the kids to call all the adults by our first names. I was fine with it and pretty much everybody else was, too.

I have not observed any deleterious effects, including any diminished respect, from this practice.