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If you suspect abuse from her words it is probably true, do NOT bring this up with her her yourself since she has already told Grandpa. If you see bruises on her anywhere or she brings it up, take her immediately to the local Police Department, show them the bruises and see if she will tell them exactly what she told you and Grandpa.
OP, I think you already know the answer as to whether you should get the authorities involved here.
I just wanted to say that since you're going to have the little girl in your possession tomorrow (today?), I think this is the very best option. They will get CPS involved. More importantly, though, you can hopefully get both kids out of the situation as quickly as possible while CPS and the police investigate.
One thing I haven't seen mentioned: your sister is probably in a lot of danger from the fiance, especially if the police get involved. There is a real possibility that he'll get very violent with her if the police/CPS start looking around. I would try to discreetly make a few calls on her behalf -- is there a women's shelter in your area? Does she, or do you, have a friend the fiance doesn't know about whom she could stay with? Could you and your parents put her up at a hotel for a little while? She may not take an option like that, but if he escalates and she wants to leave her chances will be better if you have arrangements available for her. There are other things to think about, but a safe place to stay is #1.
Tension would create worry or some anxiety about "Meme" finding out, NOT scared-for-her-life freaking out. That ALONE would have me running to the phone to report to CPS. On top of the child saying out her own mouth that she's been hit and thrown, to me it's only one thing to do. If it turns out not to be true, the sister gets mad, whatever may be, the OP can deal with that. What would be harder to deal with is knowing that her niece ended up injured or even dead and she could have stopped it.
You don't know what this mom has threatened/said about meme to this kid, though. And you don't know what meme has threatened or said about this mom in front of the child. Sometimes adults say scary, angry things that they don't really mean around kids.
Remember, the child did seem fine talking to someone other than Meme about all of this, so it just made me wonder what the deal was and why the secrecy when it came to Meme, specifically.
I don't know what is going on with this little girl,. Like I said, the OP is close to the situation, so the OP really needs to trust and go with her own gut.
Some thoughts: The goal is to keep her away from "him" until there is an investigation (if you believe she is at risk). Is there a way you can have her spend the night with you? Ask your sister if you can have her over for a sleepover. You have to be careful of asking leading questions, but after you call CPS and want to casually get a sense of where your niece is at, you can always play dolls or draw pictures. Children often reveal a lot without even being questioned. This may allow you to get a sense of things without creating stress by questioning her. I know you are not a therapist or art therapist so I don't expect you to be able to assess her playing dolls or drawings, but there are obvious signs that something may be up. First and foremost, call CPS and try to keep her away from home for as long as you can. Good luck.
Kids don't really just make up stuff like this - not in that kind of detail at the age of 4. It's too solid and depressingly common in terms of the type of abuse described.
Call CPS, without a doubt. Don't try to get her to speak up when you see her - any inquiries could be interpreted as coaching. Leave the investigation to the pros, but keep after them. Don't let it drop.
You don't know what this mom has threatened/said about meme to this kid, though. And you don't know what meme has threatened or said about this mom in front of the child. Sometimes adults say scary, angry things that they don't really mean around kids.
Remember, the child did seem fine talking to someone other than Meme about all of this, so it just made me wonder what the deal was and why the secrecy when it came to Meme, specifically.
I don't know what is going on with this little girl,. Like I said, the OP is close to the situation, so the OP really needs to trust and go with her own gut.
True enough...but if a 4 year old mentions to anyone that someone hits them and throws them, that's enough to take some kind of action. There very well could be some kind of bad feelings between mom and daughter that would make the child uneasy about sharing information with the grandmother, but I'm not sure why a small child would fabricate a story like that for that reason.
I think the OP knows the answer in this case, and is going to do the right thing. Whenever a child says they're being abused, immediate action is required. The time for speculation is later. Getting that little girl out of that house ASAP is the only priority.
Getting both little girls out...and your sister safe is what needs to happen asap. The Soc. Service Child Protection Teams are trained in assessing and determining what is going on. They are almost always mandated to do this w/in 24 hours given the age of that child.
True enough...but if a 4 year old mentions to anyone that someone hits them and throws them, that's enough to take some kind of action. There very well could be some kind of bad feelings between mom and daughter that would make the child uneasy about sharing information with the grandmother, but I'm not sure why a small child would fabricate a story like that for that reason.
I think the OP knows the answer in this case, and is going to do the right thing. Whenever a child says they're being abused, immediate action is required. The time for speculation is later. Getting that little girl out of that house ASAP is the only priority.
My point was that the "freaking out" that the child did was not necessarily in relation to the mom's boyfriend at all. It could be entirely related to Meme. I just got the sense that there is more going on with Meme than meets the eye.
That may or may not be significant. And I agree that it is worrisome that the child has mentioned being hit at home. But what does that mean? Did the boyfriend slap her hand away from the stove or swat her on the butt for pushing the two year old? Or did he smack her around for annoying him?
Certainly, you can playfully toss a child onto the bed without intending to hurt them or enforce an early bedtime without being abusive. So to me this isn't the open/shut case that many of you all are seeing. Again, I would encourage the OP to trust her gut on this.
My point was that the "freaking out" that the child did was not necessarily in relation to the mom's boyfriend at all. It could be entirely related to Meme. I just got the sense that there is more going on with Meme than meets the eye.
That may or may not be significant. And I agree that it is worrisome that the child has mentioned being hit at home. But what does that mean? Did the boyfriend slap her hand away from the stove or swat her on the butt for pushing the two year old? Or did he smack her around for annoying him?
Certainly, you can playfully toss a child onto the bed without intending to hurt them or enforce an early bedtime without being abusive. So to me this isn't the open/shut case that many of you all are seeing. Again, I would encourage the OP to trust her gut on this.
It seems very open and shut to me, and I hope to the OP as well. Yes, a child saying "he hit me" can mean a swat on the hand or a tap on the butt, but this little girl ALSO said the man throws her into a headboard, that she has to go to bed at 6pm when he gets home (a clear sign of someone who has no patience or tolerance for children) and that she was told not to tell (something that child abusers commonly tell their victims.) On top of that, the OP has said that the 2 yr old has nightmares now, and both children seem unhappy and not themselves. I'm not the kind of person who screams child abuse every time a kid gets a spanking, but everything the OP has posted is cause for alarm. If those were my nieces, I would not hestitate to call CPS and/or the police. In my opinion, the 2 year old is probably at a greater risk of injury, by being smaller, more likely to annoy him, and not able to tell. I truly hope she moves and moves fast to save these kids.
Not to say you don't raise valid questions. But I would rather act on it and be wrong, than not act and something happen to these kids. I also hope the OP goes with her gut on this one.
It seems very open and shut to me, and I hope to the OP as well. Yes, a child saying "he hit me" can mean a swat on the hand or a tap on the butt, but this little girl ALSO said the man throws her into a headboard, that she has to go to bed at 6pm when he gets home (a clear sign of someone who has no patience or tolerance for children) and that she was told not to tell (something that child abusers commonly tell their victims.) On top of that, the OP has said that the 2 yr old has nightmares now, and both children seem unhappy and not themselves. I'm not the kind of person who screams child abuse every time a kid gets a spanking, but everything the OP has posted is cause for alarm. If those were my nieces, I would not hestitate to call CPS and/or the police. In my opinion, the 2 year old is probably at a greater risk of injury, by being smaller, more likely to annoy him, and not able to tell. I truly hope she moves and moves fast to save these kids.
Not to say you don't raise valid questions. But I would rather act on it and be wrong, than not act and something happen to these kids. I also hope the OP goes with her gut on this one.
There is no way for the OP to know for an absolute certainty what is going on in that house. But I agree, if her gut tells her that her nieces are in danger she should act on their behalf.
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