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It's either your primary goal is to continue co-sleeping, you love it and have no complaints or it's not. Does co-sleeping foster a need to sleep in your bed -- especially the longer you guys do it? YES, of course it does -- babies thrive on habit and the schedule you've created, you must know this. Either you are ok with this as most co-sleeping parents are or you are not. That's the extent of it.
My experience: Both of our babies slept in our room in a PNP until 3 months. At 3 months they slept through the night, no night feedings required and we moved them to their crib. Even if they still required a night-time feeding we would have still moved them to their own room.
Put me in the camp that had no intentions of cosleeping prior to giving birth. We had a beautiful crib and nursery, and I intended to use it.
My daughter decided on co-sleeping for me the night she was born and she balled her eyes out if I put her down. I held her all night long and stayed up watching Gilmore Girls DVDs. I was soooo exhausted from giving birth, but terrified to sleep with her in my arms.
I look back on that night with the fondest of feelings. I think I will be picturing that night when I see my daughter walk down the aisle at her wedding...
She shared our bed until she was two and a half. If she didn't, I'm not sure we would have made it through, and I know we wouldn't have been able to keep up nursing. I went back to work and couldn't pump much, and then she reverse-cycled and nursed all night long for the first year. I literally slept with her attached to me. She couldn't handle sleeping on her own and had to be held even for naps. She was a tough sleeper, for sure. But we didn't believe in sleep training (still don't), so we made the best of it. Our motto was, "Whatever gets everyone the most sleep." When I stopped obsessing over it and made my life fit hers instead of the other way around, I found out it was just fine. I went to bed early, my husband took her for a few hours in the morning to let me get some uninterrupted sleep before work, and I just learned to deal.
So many would think that crazy. I know I got very little sleep that year. But for me, I think about that year in the span of both our lives. For the majority of my life, my daughter will be an adult who doesn't need me, at least not in the same demanding way as these first years. What's one year of a less sleep than the norm when I look at the span of 70 or 80? Nothing. And the memories of that little girl tucked up against me will be kept in my heart always. When she needed me, I was there. I will always have that. Even when she is gone and I have plenty of time for sleep.
She now sleeps just fine in her own bed in her own room (transitioned on her own with no issues at two and a half). Which is great because I'm now sharing a bed, voluntarily and happily, with her little sister. We never even bothered putting together the crib for this little one, and I'm so happy now to lose some sleep because I realize how quickly it passes by.
When you all think of co-sleeping and breastfeeding, picture a Mama dog . . .there is your answer . . .can you imagine pups in separate rooms? It's just ridiculous. Bottle feeding was "invented" by "man" and is a money-making prospect . . .it has nothing to do with the health or well-being of either parents or babies and is highly unnatural, in case it is not obvious.
In extreme cases, it could be warranted . . .but for the every day, healthy mom - what the heck is the problem with doing things as nature intended? The more you get away from nature, the more problems you will have down the road. Just sayin'
I hope you young mothers will realize that the "Experts" really are only experts at their own children. I nursed 4 of my 5 children...each nursing experience was different. And the closeness between Mother and child is invaluable imo.
But, whether you nurse or bottle feed...What ever you decide to do, based on your families needs will be ok w/ your baby. They really do adjust and if co-sleeping, or not becomes your "norm" it will be fine. Don't struggle with the logistics...Be proud that you are loving, caring and nurturing Parents.
I hope you young mothers will realize that the "Experts" really are only experts at their own children. I nursed 4 of my 5 children...each nursing experience was different. And the closeness between Mother and child is invaluable imo.
I agree with children being different, and I rarely listen to "experts." My point was to listen to your heart as well as to take into consideration what the OP is saying is the problem- lack of sleep. My point is that lack of sleep is a temporary condition. It's something that is hard to deal with in the midst of it, but if you reframe your thinking to remember that it is only for a few years, it can help immensely. I have found reframing my thinking is incredibly helpful in so many cases.
Instead of thinking how little sleep I am getting at night, I think of how quickly my daughter is going to grow up and not need me like this anymore. I remember how my mom is now feeling a little sad and alone (although very happy for all of us) now that all her kids are out and on their own.
I do it in a lot of cases, not just for sleep issues. I have found that it really helps my perspective. Although I'm a really new mom, I think it's a valuable bit of advice.
ETA- all the "experts" in my case advised sleep training, which I ignored. I listened to my own instincts instead. I'm not saying either is right or wrong, but I followed my mama gut. Not my emotions, or feelings, or desire for more sleep or any of the experts or my friends- but my gut.
I also used a boppy in a glider and didn't have to worry about him rolling off. Is he just getting up once to nurse? You're lucky LOL.
Does anyone else find it obnoxious when people cherrypick behaviors from the animal kingdom to support their arguments? I always wonder if they also think we should emulate licking our own butts and eating our young.
I also used a boppy in a glider and didn't have to worry about him rolling off. Is he just getting up once to nurse? You're lucky LOL.
Does anyone else find it obnoxious when people cherrypick behaviors from the animal kingdom to support their arguments? I always wonder if they also think we should emulate licking our own butts and eating our young.
Well, if you think waking up in the middle of the night, going to the kitchen with a screaming infant, heating up unnatural powders mixed with water, then sitting up at full attention, force feeding the potion in plastic that often leaks BPA is good for anyone, have at it.
I would much prefer snuggling, nursing, and dozing, but to each "his" own (and it was male doctors and scientists, no doubt, that cooked up this slick marketing scheme - it was genius, and a very easy sell and everyone made millions and millions).
Last edited by imcurious; 10-15-2012 at 10:26 PM..
Well, if you think waking up in the middle of the night, going to the kitchen with a scraming infant, heating up unnatural powders mixed with water, then sitting up at full attention, force feeding the potion in plastic that often leaks BPA is good for anyone, have at it.
I would much prefer snuggling, nursing, and dozing, but to each "his" own (and it was male doctors and scientists, no doubt, that cooked up this slick marketing scheme - it was genius, and a very easy sell and everyone made millions and millions).
I don't think that was really a fair statement to make. I feed my youngest formula in a plastic bottle. I am not able to nurse her (although I did nurse my oldest). But we cosleep, I don't forcefeed her, and I am incredibly thankful for this "potion" because without it, my daughter would not survive.
I'm not sensitive to having to use formula. I know I have to, even though I ached so badly to be able to breast feed. But it's just silly to make comments like this and it's not really a stately of truth or fact.
I don't think that was really a fair statement to make. I feed my youngest formula in a plastic bottle. I am not able to nurse her (although I did nurse my oldest). But we cosleep, I don't forcefeed her, and I am incredibly thankful for this "potion" because without it, my daughter would not survive.
I'm not sensitive to having to use formula. I know I have to, even though I ached so badly to be able to breast feed. But it's just silly to make comments like this and it's not really a stately of truth or fact.
I am sorry that you are unable to breast feed - I was not addressing women with medical conditions that prohibit them from breastfeeding (probably less than one percent of the population) . . . In the old days, women who couldn't breast feed hired wet nurses.
Many women who can breastfeed, don't.
I beg to differ with you that it was not a marketing scheme in the fifties that got women to abandon breast feeding, en masse.
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We never even bothered putting together the crib for this little one, and I'm so happy now to lose some sleep because I realize how quickly it passes by.
