Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Somewhere along the line this girl has learned or decided that the people she is associating with are the only ones who will be her friends, and that need to be liked is far stronger than fear of death and disease in a distant future.
I agree. I don't see how a teen could be stopped from smoking if they want to unless some kind of guard was hired to tail them all day or to remove them from their environment to a controlled environment.
Maybe it would, I don't know, but I don't think so. I smoked for decades. Knowing people who were dying of cancer didn't make me quit smoking. I know people who smoked who HAD cancer and having cancer didn't make them quit smoking, either.
How would that even work? You take a teenager to a hospital and introduce them to someone (who? Is there a list of random strangers who have cancer and agree to play this role???) and say, "Hey, now you two be friends so little can Ashleigh watch you suffer and die to scare her into quitting smoking?"
It's just unrealistic, and it's also not accurate anyway. Most smokers won't ever get cancer, although their chances of some cancers are definitely higher. Heart disease is the No. 1 effect from smoking, so why not find them a death-friend in the cardiac unit instead?
OK, I'm being silly, but the point of the OP is that she's concerned about her daughter smoking. A teenager is not going to be impressed by death and disease. That's not what's important to her at that age. It's belonging. It's being accepted. Somewhere along the line this girl has learned or decided that the people she is associating with are the only ones who will be her friends, and that need to be liked is far stronger than fear of death and disease in a distant future.
This is so true. And true of any addictive behavior. The only time someone is going to stop addictive behavior is when they've had enough. Not before then.
Nasty thing to pick up. In my younger years I tried smoking but never saw much in it and wow did it taste bad. You might just talk to her about life, future, goals etc...I remember most of my smoking friends just wanted attention from their parents so they moved into smoking and taking drugs/drinking.
Smoking was always unacceptable in our home and I raised my girls to know that they were never to smoke...and they never have.
I think this is stuff you should start drilling in when they are little.
As a 16 year old, I would tell her that until she stopped the unacceptable behavior, there won't be a cell phone, a car, or any other luxury that you would provide her.
I agree. I don't see how a teen could be stopped from smoking if they want to unless some kind of guard was hired to tail them all day or to remove them from their environment to a controlled environment.
Money. How does a teenager have the money to buy expensive cigarettes?
I think most kids will try a cigarette -- someone gives them one or they pool their money and buy a pack to try -- but the cost alone will keep many kids from buying enough to become addicted.
He who controls the wallet controls the children. I won't give kids $20 or even $10 or $5 unless I know what they will be doing with it. I will help them by letting them borrow my car or with buying a car and paying insurance on it --- as long as they're using their money the way they should. If they would buy cigarettes or anything else I don't want them buying then, they will have to pay for their own car, their own car insurance, their own food, their own clothes. And if they were to try to smoke inside my house or have their cigarettes or anything else that I wouldn't want in my house, then it's time for them to move out.
I think it's fairly simple -- tell a kid if they have money for cigarettes, they have money to buy their own food, all their own clothes, their own car and insurance -- you no longer see the need to support them in any way financially.
Money. How does a teenager have the money to buy expensive cigarettes?
I think most kids will try a cigarette -- someone gives them one or they pool their money and buy a pack to try -- but the cost alone will keep many kids from buying enough to become addicted.
He who controls the wallet controls the children. I won't give kids $20 or even $10 or $5 unless I know what they will be doing with it. I will help them by letting them borrow my car or with buying a car and paying insurance on it --- as long as they're using their money the way they should. If they would buy cigarettes or anything else I don't want them buying then, they will have to pay for their own car, their own car insurance, their own food, their own clothes. And if they were to try to smoke inside my house or have their cigarettes or anything else that I wouldn't want in my house, then it's time for them to move out.
I think it's fairly simple -- tell a kid if they have money for cigarettes, they have money to buy their own food, all their own clothes, their own car and insurance -- you no longer see the need to support them in any way financially.
I started working when I was 13 years old. I started smoking at 15 years old. I had my own money. My parents had a difficult time controlling it. I wouldn't expect my teen daughter to not work and earn her own money, but I think I would remove her from the environment. Either boarding school, a new school, outward bound for the summer, or something. You can't have your 15-16 year old move out, can you? I don't think that's legal, although that's the last thing I would do as well. I also left home between 16-17. That's not a good move on the part of parents.
Either boarding school, a new school, outward bound for the summer, or something.
You think that kids at boarding school don't smoke? They most certainly do, regardless of the fact that doing so is against the rules. They also sometimes drink (alcohol) and/or use various illegal drugs. I've both attended and worked at a boarding school, so I have first-hand knowledge.
You think that kids at boarding school don't smoke? They most certainly do, regardless of the fact that doing so is against the rules. They also sometimes drink (alcohol) and/or use various illegal drugs. I've both attended and worked at a boarding school, so I have first-hand knowledge.
The point would be to remove them from their current environment, not whether it happens elsewhere since that's pretty obvious. I agree with a few other posters in that it's friends and fitting in more so than the desire to smoke. The severity of the addiction comes later. Further, the cool factor of smoking is not what it was years ago.
The point would be to remove them from their current environment, not whether it happens elsewhere since that's pretty obvious. I agree with a few other posters in that it's friends and fitting in more so than the desire to smoke. The severity of the addiction comes later. Further, the cool factor of smoking is not what it was years ago.
If she's smoking to "fit in" where she is, she'll likely do the same thing in a new environment. Again, I've seen this first-hand.
(Not to mention that if she's found smoking on campus, she'll likely be expelled -- and you will NOT get a refund on your tuition.)
If she's smoking to "fit in" where she is, she'll likely do the same thing in a new environment. Again, I've seen this first-hand.
(Not to mention that if she's found smoking on campus, she'll likely be expelled -- and you will NOT get a refund on your tuition.)
I'm not worried about money and hopefully it will never come to this, but I went through it as a teen and it doesn't just happen in isolation. You make friends or you have a boyfriend. They're smoking, the kid starts smoking. I'm just not going to stand by and do nothing while the kid smokes. That method has been tried by millions of parents and it doesn't work. Hopefully, I will raise my daughter well enough so that she doesn't end up with loser friends to begin with.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
