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If seen it at Disney World, specifically Disney Quest, which is located in Downtown Disney area. They were white people.
It was around 8pm in the upstairs cafe. I don't know what the child did, except being tired and cranky from being at Disney all day. The parent picked the child up, spanked HARD, on the bottom, while the parent is yelling "I brought you here to have a good time and your going to have one GDMIT."
My husband and I looked at each other, WOW, magical moment there! Come to Disney and get your azz beat.
Magical! Just magical!
We would not have intervened, if the parent had continued, we would have notified the employees. I'm sure Disney has seen it all, much better prepared to diffuse the situation the my husband or I.
I have a 12 and 9 year old. They are really nice kids. Never hit them. Well I spanked my son once when he was little. I learned other things after that. Glad I did since it is likely one of the reasons they ARE such nice kids.
We were driving through Georgia a couple of years back. There was a woman with a small child, maybe 4. Mom wanted the little girl to go to the bathroom. So she was SCREAMING at the child. I remember thinking there is no way I could relax enough to pee under that onslaught. The little girl was crying hard. So Mom threatened that is she did not stop crying and go to the bathroom she was going to "beat her butt for her". Gee, thanks Mom.
I did nothing and said nothing. Because regardless of what you may do in that one instance, the next instance is right around the corner. You can't cure stupid.
I imagine everyone will yell at me, but I wish more parents would spank their children in public. I've recently seen small children throw the most appalling tantrums in public, kicking and shrieking.
However, that said, I also think that when any parent uses the word "f--k" to a small child, it's probably an automatic indicator of a bad parent, for me.
Corporal punishment demonstrates to a child that there are consequences and boundaries to bad behaviour. A smack in the ass will sure keep a kid from wandering in the street far more than a fruitful, relavant, open and granola bar discussion ever will..
Wait..just wait...until yours is two.....
No, a smack will not actually keep a child from wandering into the street as this study shows. But it's not discussion that takes the place of corporal punishment, but creating an environment for safe playing with positive reinforcement for good behavior.
Quote:
In the Summer 1987 issue of _Children_ magazine,
Dr. Dennis Embry writes:
"Since 1977 I have been heading up the only long-term project designed to counteract pedestrian accidents to preschool-aged children. (Surprisingly, getting struck by a car is about the third leading cause of death to young children in the United States.)
"Actual observation of parents and children shows that spanking, scolding, reprimanding and nagging INCREASES the rate of street entries by children. Children use going into the street as a near-perfect way to gain parents' attention. "Now there is a promising new educational intervention program, called Safe Playing.
The underlying principles of the program are simple:
1. Define safe boundaries in a POSITIVE way. "Safe players play on the grass or sidewalk."
2. Give stickers for safe play. That makes it more fun than playing dangerously.
3. Praise your child for safe play.
"These three principles have an almost instant effect on increasing safe play. We have observed children who had been spanked many times a day for going into the street, yet they continued to do it. The moment the family began giving stickers and praise for safe play, the children stopped going into the street.
Dennis D. Embry, Ph.D.
University of Kansas
Lawrence Kansas"
The product of your body is your property- Your body is YOUR property so logic dictates that what comes from your body belongs to you. If the child is not your property then the child is the property of the state. Which would make us like a herd of cattle. When a cow and bull create a calf..the calf belongs to the rancher?
Your body belongs to you. Your child's body belongs to neither the parent nor the state, but to the child.
Human beings are not property or do you believe that slavery is a good thing?
back to the thread.....I thought as I got older that seeing new parents hitting/disc/ignoring their childrens' reasonable moves for attention would not bother me, but it does. Unfortunately, due to new "assault law" definitions you don't want to intervene in an issue that the state doesn't consider your purvue, without being prepared for the consequences. I.E. your new criminal record. Sometime mall security is near by, and sometimes you can motivate them to make it THEIR ISSUE.
What I try to do is get the kids attention, which diffuses the issue a bit. And then I'm out of there before the adult notices.
That, and a cell phone jammer for all the new moms in malls.
Today I went to get a cup of coffee at a McDonald's in Brooklyn and as I was ordering I see this woman verbally abusing her child.
I don't know what the child did but she was getting pretty upset and at one point she spanks him pretty badly. The child who must've been around 3 yr old started crying inconsolably. And she goes like "don't f.. cry now. You was asking for it"
I felt so bad for the little defenseless kid. I wanted to intervene but I was highly outnumbered in that environment. Nobody said a word and to my surprise most people reacted as this a mundane incident.
So, that brings me to the question of, how would you reacted to the verbal and physical abuse the child was receiving?
Is there a quick and effective way to denounce these people?
I also have seen similar incidents on the subway.
This is tough. I say use your best judgement and tell the perp that how they are handling their child is excessive and can cause emotional damage.
It may require you to grow a pair and get the wording kind of just right (lol), but you never know... you may make the parent think and though they will be mad at you and tell you to mind your own business and throw in a few expletives once they walk away they may feel embarrassed enough to at least think about it and they may be a bit more measured in the future.
It's hard in the states. We have a very old school view of child rearing, which per the American Pediatric Association, causes massive emotional and mental issues all through childhood and well into adulthood. Most of our emotional and mental issues (depression, personality disorders, sociopathy, etc.) are rooted in childhood between our most impressionable ages of 1-5 years old. Pretty much, whatever you were going through during those crucial years will set the tone for the rest of your life. Let the parent know that in clear terms -- -- I say go ahead and give them a brief, but direct lecture. The stuff we do to our kids here in the U.S. would be a crime in most other Western nations. Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child is not the healthy way to rear children, but if one doesn't know any better (or doesn't care to know) then there isn't a whole lot you can do except to jump on it in that instant.
Its a challenge, but again, you may make that parent think by speaking up.
Your logic is all over the place. You state that "your body is YOUR property" but then state that the child's body is the property of the parent but logically it should follow that the child's body is THEIR OWN property, not the property of the parents.
You also state that a wife's body belongs to her husband and vice versa and that if they don't then the only alternative is that they belong to everybody but you already said that someone's body is their own property so logically if they do not belong to their spouse they belong to themselves, not to everybody.
Before the child can fend for themselves - survive in the world on their own - you own them and they must be under your protection....of course the child belongs to themselves- You missed the point...In order that the state or others in the community do not take possession and authority over your child _YOU have to make the move first and stake your claim. It about family autonomy.
Now some men will ask of a woman "Is she taken or is she single?" The female or the male in a marriage or relationship must be a unified front...if they are not a unified front then that opens the door to interlopers. The term seduce is not just a sexual term..It literally means to draw away or separate from a pair...to break the bond that other have. Yes of course it starts with BELONGING TO THEMSELVES..The partnership in that ownership is the spouse.
It goes to an ancient code. When people marry it was said that the loyalty is diverted away from parents to the husband or to the wife. You have seen situations where a wife will put her parents above the husband...Or the husband put his mother in a position higher than his wife....Things become dysfunctional and marriages fail.
The points that I was making were symbolic and meant to show that there are codes of conduct that have to exist. It was not an exercise in logic...although you did do a very good job with your approach.
I guess I was talking about - Loyalty - family and personal autonomy...dignity and freedom - ORDER...putting things in order are important. Simple question. Who's rights are stronger yours or societies at large?
To the original question, instead of being mute *or* being disapproving, it is sometimes helpful to ask that other parent if there is some way you can help her. Perhaps she is overwhelmed not only by the child, but by something else that is going on.
Saying something like *I can see you are having a hard time, is there any way I can help?* might get her to do something differently.
OTOH, saying something disapproving can escalate things and make things worse for the child especially if the parent feels that she is being taken to task for her parenting.
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