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Am I a parent? Yep. Three kids, youngest in College. Two of my three dated in HS. My youngest has been going out with his GF for several years and there were a few instances when I wanted to call her parents or otherwise butt in but I didn't because I knew it was none of my business. How many teenagers have you had experience with?
By calling the parents back up, the OP is showing her son and his GF respect and letting the controlling parents figure out what to do. Honest to goodness, in my 28 years of parenting, I've never heard of one set of parents telling another set of parents to actually break up a couple. I call manipulation of parents here and I would not let it happen.
I see Well, we will just have to agree to disagree in this particular case
Now in general I would certainly agree that kids need to work their own relationships out and that a parent should butt out.
However, if you read what the OP has shared about the girls parents carefully you will see that this is not your typical situation.
There is great risk that these folks WILL file charges against this young man. Defending him from false charges could be very costly and extremely upsetting and disruptive to the boy and his whole family.
Too bad for them. Keep the feelings for themselves. They might go underground, as long as I was the one paying, they would be home at decent hours and only top grades would be accepted.
So you can't keep them from dating. And top grades? What if they're not capable?
So you can't keep them from dating. And top grades? What if they're not capable?
I wouldn't keep them from dating if there weren't consequences, like I said. Because there are, you just need to cut off the money for the things they enjoy and they drop the pathetic teen fling in a minute. If they aren't capable of top grades by themselves, they study more hours and I would get them help.
The father already eluded to the fact that he would consider a restraining order to keep them apart. Truth is, if he got one against my son...I would get one against his daughter. I will not allow this idiot father to ruin my son's life by giving him a legal record.
will a judge go so far to even issue one for a stupid spat between parents? No law has been broken, no threats have been made. Let them try... they'll be laughed out of court. And what grounds do you have for one anyway?
By calling the parents back up, the OP is showing her son and his GF respect and letting the controlling parents figure out what to do.
Um. No. I'm sure you'd really love it and back off if another parents tells you how to handle your kid. So wrong. The OP is powerless in this situation. Absolutely powerless.
I wouldn't keep them from dating if there weren't consequences, like I said. Because there are, you just need to cut off the money for the things they enjoy and they drop the pathetic teen fling in a minute. If they aren't capable of top grades by themselves, they study more hours and I would get them help.
Don't see what the big deal is about top grades... if they're capable, fine. Even with help, they may not be. Then what do you do?
My 16 yr old son (his 17th birthday is tomorrow) has been dating a young lady for about a year now. Her parents did not / do not want her dating until she goes to college. They were (hesitantly) ok with her seeing him occasionally (I also believe that she was lying to them about where she was going to see him). They have requested meetings with us a couple times to discuss their expectations and rules (we have met with them twice... all I can say is I have never met a more controlling person in my entire life). Basically, what it all boils down to is they decided today that she could not see him anymore. Her father called my husband to tell him... who does that?! Anyway, we have decided to wait until Sunday to tell him because tomorrow is his birthday and he has a sports event tomorrow to go to. It is going to crush him. I am worried that he will do something reckless and either A: get himself in trouble for "harassing" her because he wants to hear it from her directly or B: he will leave the house and hurt himself (I do not think he would be suicidal, but I DO believe that he would be reckless and that may result in him injuring himself accidentally).
Any suggestions on how to handle this? I am livid that her parents dumped this on us (but it may be for the better because we can break it to him "gently").
Parenting really sucks sometimes...
See, I just don't see the next logical step that the parents are going to charge your son with harassment. Maybe there was more to this conversation then the above condensed version, but if you simply call those parents and say, "I'm sorry but we've been thinking about what you said, and we've decided that it's not our place to tell our son. This is something that needs to come from your daughter." What could they say to that?? They cannot force you to be the bad guys. You should explain just what you said above.
Um. No. I'm sure you'd really love it and back off if another parents tells you how to handle your kid. So wrong. The OP is powerless in this situation. Absolutely powerless.
Exactly. Thank you.
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Well, we will just have to agree to disagree in this particular case 
