Parents buying simple vs over-the-top stuff for their kids (teens, support, toy)
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Does it in anyway hurt children when their parents routintely and consistently buy over the top stuff for their kids?
An example: Say a kid wants an ant farm. I would normally think of buying a simple ant farm like the one below on the left.
But, some parents like to buy over the top stuff might look at the one on the right, which is far more complex and advanced (and also costs 3x as much).
Does that cause any issues for children when their parents buy fancy over the top stuff instead of purchasing the basic options? Or does it make no difference at all?
Does that cause any issues for children when their parents buy fancy over the top stuff instead of purchasing the basic options? Or does it make no difference at all?
I think a lot of stuff is poorly made plastic junk with one foot in the landfill. Pretty much anything "as seen on TV" is overpriced junk and I refuse to buy it. I think our culture has gotten used to things quickly breaking or needing to be upgraded or replaced, which drives a level of consumption and materialism that I object to for different reasons. But there's happy medium to be found between the As Seen on TV store we have in the mall and telling Junior that a stick and a cardboard box are all he really needs as toys.
Does it in anyway hurt children when their parents routintely and consistently buy over the top stuff for their kids?
Depends on the child and the family.
When our kids hit the Big Wheel stage, some of our friends were the people buying their kids miniature BMWs. The majority of those kids turned out just fine. One or two are exceptional human beings. One or two are screw-ups. It's rare when "things" alone affect how a child turns out.
My bought all of my brother and I's clothes from Abercrombie and American Eagle, furniture from Ethan Allen for our rooms, Lenovo Gaming computers (my brother got a Mac because he wanted one instead), and a bunch of other nice stuff. It didn't ruin us, I went to an Air Force encampment and didn't notice the difference between the Ethan Allen bed and the wire-spring bed in the barracks. It's just stuff, didn't make us any better or worse than anyone else.
I don't think it has to be a one or the other situation - take the ant farm. If my kid said, "hey, that looks cool," or I thought it would be an educational experience for him but had no idea if he would like it, I'd buy the simple one. If he was over-the-moon into ants and wanted to be a scientist, I might splurge on the nice one. I think getting the over the top product every time for no real reason other than you can afford it is probably spoiling your children a bit, but if you make up for it in other ways - instilling good values including gratitude for instance - I don't know that even that would RUIN them.
Frankly, and this is coming from someone who really can't afford to ever splurge on the nice one, I think always going for the simple one could more easily send a dangerous message as well: you're not worth the nice one, or your interests are not worth supporting. We don't want to tell our kids about our money issues because we don't want to worry them or open up a can of worms that they feel they get input into (they're quite young), but that means that there's no good answer to the question: But why couldn't I have the brand name one I wanted? If the question even gets verbalized.
When it's a learning toy, I'll usually get the nicest one we can afford. With a toy that holds live creatures, we would have to decide if it was really necessary and then look at which one was the most humane and kept the ants in the conditions closest to nature. We'd also have to look at whether the species of ants contained in the toy were local to the area and if we could release them when the project was done.
I'll also splurge when possible on art supplies, because the quality of the supplies has a lot to do with the quality of the finished product. Things like large canvases, good quality paints and chalks, etc. are important.
Bikes are another area where quality is important, for safety and reliability...one of my kids has a $300 bicycle and the other one has a $600 bicycle. We started with cheaper bikes but they didn't hold up to regular riding, so we had to upgrade. In our neighborhood, even having a cheap bike that actually fits the kid is unusual, so my kids seem spoiled to their friends, but we ride often and far, and need the good bikes so we're not stranded on the trails or making repairs every weekend.
I don't think splurging just for the sake of splurging is a good thing, but it makes sense to choose quality when possible.
I don't think that buying stuff for a kid is what makes them spoiled. I live in a wealthy neighborhood and my kids go to a private school so I know lots of rich kids. They all have lots of stuff but not all of them are spoiled kids. I think kids can be raised with lots of stuff and be taught an appreciation of money at the same time. Some parents do a better job of this than others but I truly don't think it's the stuff that makes a kid spoiled.
Parents can spend money on their children any way they choose. Everyone has a different opinion on this. The only time I do pass judgement is when people buy young teens high performance sports car. IMO that is stupid and reckless. One of my neighbors bought their 16 year-old a $60 k car which was wrecked with thankfully only slight injuries in less than 2 months.
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