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Never got along with my mother, live an ocean away from her, so that takes care of the grandma/kids. You live an ocean away from your parents, too - so any visits, if all, will be very different from when living in the same country.
Never got along with my mother, live an ocean away from her, so that takes care of the grandma/kids. You live an ocean away from your parents, too - so any visits, if all, will be very different from when living in the same country.
Are you asking a general question or do you want feedback on your own situation?
If your parents abused you and they continue to do so them absolutely keep them away from yourself and your family. If all you have is a difference of opinions then your should be able to come to some compromise. Grandparents are important for children. Just remember that you kids will treat you the same way they see you treating your parents. JMO.
my mother and i have a really shaky relationship and have since i was 15 but if she wants to see my kids then I am not going to keep them from her over my personal conflict with her. if she were an abuser, druggy, or drunk that would be different. i dont think kids should be put in the middle of family drama.
My daughter and I have been known to rub each other the wrong way. We are very different. Within the past year, developments had caused a brutal rift, but things are better. During that entire time my daughter and I made it a point to be pleasant to each other, and I saw my granddaughter often. We both want that child to be surrounded by as much harmony as possible knowing she would be unhappy if we didn't get along together.
time is short, mend relationships, alot can happen over time. grandparents are a vital part of children's lives, more so, a sense of FAMILY and belonging is important. Start off slow, like a park setting where you don't really have to interact with them, but are close to see how they interact with your children. I grew up very abused, but always believed my family would come around. I wanted to matter to someone significant especially after my son was born, the first in the family, and the first grandson to my dad. it never happened, my children grew up without a family except me and there were times I just was not enough for them. I am sure my life and that of my children and that of their grandfather would have been so different, had my Dad just let me forgive him and love him. But it's your choice, believe me, there are alot of children grandparents can love when they can't love their own.
time is short, mend relationships, alot can happen over time. grandparents are a vital part of children's lives, more so, a sense of FAMILY and belonging is important. Start off slow, like a park setting where you don't really have to interact with them, but are close to see how they interact with your children. I grew up very abused, but always believed my family would come around. I wanted to matter to someone significant especially after my son was born, the first in the family, and the first grandson to my dad. it never happened, my children grew up without a family except me and there were times I just was not enough for them. I am sure my life and that of my children and that of their grandfather would have been so different, had my Dad just let me forgive him and love him. But it's your choice, believe me, there are alot of children grandparents can love when they can't love their own.
I do not believe that abusers will come around. I think it is healthy to forgive. But one should never forget.
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