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I don't know where she got it but I think it was around when I had her in daycare for 7 months (I'm a SAHM now). She'll be 4 Dec 1st. And I swear to you this kid can't ask for juice without it being a whine. She so much as brushes the counter with her arm "I have a booooo booooooooo" . Honest I hate to say it but she's a whiney cry baby! Every single action sets her off. I watch her cousin during the day who's 2 and If she even takes her pillow off her bed "my pillllooowwwwww" which then starts a "fake" crying fit. My husband works nights so I'm alone all day dealing with this cause he has to sleep, then alone all night while he works 6 days a week. I just put her down for bed and go in my room and cry.
I've tried ignorin it, time outs, distraction, yelling. I mean it's getting to the point where I feel like I just hate my life. Like this is it, a whining f***ing kid all day every day .. What do I do, how do I stop this. I don't know if it's part of the "my phase" we are in, "my tv, my bathtub, my mommy" but it had to end... It has to...
Sweetbottoms, don't panic! And don't give up hope and joy either!
If it's any comfort to you, whining (especially in girls) around the age of 4 is extremely common - whether you send them off to daycare, watch them at home, whatever - it doesn't seem to matter.
In fact, as soon as I saw the title of your thread, before I even read the body of the thread, I said to myself, "I bet the child in question is four years old!" and I was right on the money!
I was a SAHM and both my girls were whiny at that age as well. And both of them outgrew it within about a year. I now have six granddaughters and the five of them who are over 4 all went through a whiny stage around age 4 and are now out of it completely.
All that worked for me was refusing to respond to the whining. Any question or request or statement made in a whiny tone of voice was met with, "I'm sorry - I am not going to listen to you whine. Repeat what you said without whining." When, by a miracle, one of them DIDN'T whine when they asked something or said something to me, I'd say, "I am so proud of you for not whining!" and give her a big hug.
Really, that's about it. Grit your teeth and maybe send her to her room for a few minutes if she insists on whining.
Stop acknowledging her behavior. Tell her that you can't understand her until she talks in a big girl voice and walk away. She will stop. You are reinforcing her behavior by reacting to it.
If this is new behavior however, she may be coming down with a cold or something too.
Stop acknowledging her behavior. Tell her that you can't understand her until she talks in a big girl voice and walk away. She will stop. You are reinforcing her behavior by reacting to it.
If this is new behavior however, she may be coming down with a cold or something too.
This! I used the "I can't understand you" line and it stopped very quickly.
My daughter is younger but she could whine for Britain - I also use the "I can't understand you" line and if its really bad I tell her that she must be tired because there's no other explanation for such whinging and put her to bed and tell her she can come out when she's ready to stop whining - that works every single time (so far).
Thanks guys I'll give a few of these a go, see how it goes. I can't believe how trying 3-4 had been. Twos were a breeze , the threes are much more tramatizing (for mommy that is!)
Ignoring is the only thing that works here. Yelling, time outs and distraction won't - ignoring and never giving him anything he wants unless he asks in a normal voice. The most I say is "I don't understand you when you talk like that". The next time is "I'm not answering you unless you talk in a voice I can understand". If you ever give in, she will never stop. If he throws a fit about it I send him to his room for a few minutes until he calms down and then I tell him I can't understand him unless he talks in a normal voice.
I have a toddler - when the whining begins. If she is being whiny about something, I'll model the behavior I want from her. For example, she's throwing a fit in the car b'c she dropped her iPad. I'll tell her "Yelling and screaming about it won't help you. Can you tell Mamma, iPad, please?" and she'll repeat, "Mamma, iPad please." As long as there's no other external factor affecting her mood (like skipping a nap for example) she usually complies quite well.
I'll also tell her that I don't respond to whining. She needs to calm down before I do/get X for her. She'll throw her fit but I won't acknowledge her behavior by responding to what she wants. She will eventually calm down and ask me nicely for whatever it is she threw a fit about.
It doesn't work 100% of the time but it does help, I think. She's overall a pretty well behaved kid. She has her moments of course but since it's not "all the time" I think we both have a better grasp of handling it when the meltdown does happen!
Good luck. Whining is never an easy thing to handle especially if it feels like it's never going to end!
I did the "I'll listen when you talk like a big girl" thing too. And walk away after you say it, or completely tune her out. She will stop.
By chance, does she ever watch Caillou? I had to stop my dd from watching that stupid whiny cartoon because she began whining just like he does!
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