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I personally would never make comments to someone about their toddler having a fit because I know there are a million different scenerios that could have possibly led up to that moment.
There are also a million different scenarios that could have led to the old guy saying what he did. You heard ONE sentence said by him in the moment you passed by him and assumed it was negative and directed at your parenting skills.
For all you know his next sentence was, "That's one hot mom! Wowza."
Eh, if I bothered to hear it at all, I'm the type of smart mouth that would have told him to bow down and pay homage to Her Highness the Princess (my 2 year old is a girl).
The other day I was in Costco with my 2 year old. We were having "one of those days." He was very grumpy and needed a nap. My husband was out of town for work and it seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Always seems to happen when I am on my own--house issues, unexpected errands, phone calls, etc. Just part of life. Well, despite the grumpy child I needed to grab a prescription from Costco before picking up by older kids. Sometimes you just have to live your life and get things done. I am not one to allow my kids to throw items in the cart or grab random items or junk food. I'm pretty strict about what we can get when going to Costco or the grocery store. We are moving quickly past the candy section with the giant boxes of gum. My grumpy 2 year old yells out, "Gum, gum, I want some gum." I tell him no, we are not buying gum.
As we are heading around the corner, a man in in his 70s or possibly early 80s says out loud to another lady, "well, I guess we know who is in charge in that household!!" in a very scolding voice.
I guess I am just unrealistic but I wish people, especially people who have "been there, done that" could be a little more encouraging. Sometimes I feel like people are just looking to make comments about how unruly or misbehaved "the children of today" are. I personally would never make comments to someone about their toddler having a fit because I know there are a million different scenerios that could have possibly led up to that moment.
Just curious if anyone else experiences this. How do you handle unsolicited comments and advice? I wish I could learn to just brush it off and not let it annoy me.
I had a similar incident when my kids were small. We were in Costco and my son asked me if we could get something. I forget what it is he asked for but it was some ordinary everyday food item that he liked. Some grumpy old woman said "You know you can buy what you want. They will eat it if they are hungry."
I don't know about you but I don't lord power over my kids when it comes to food. If there is food they like I will buy it as long as it is reasonable healthy and doesn't cost a fortune. They are my kids. I don't need to prove to them that I have power by denying them food that they like just because I can.
At any rate I turned around and asked the old woman "Didn't you ever buy your kids food they like? EVER? Did you spend their entire childhood buying food they hate to just to make yourself happy?" She didn't answer. She knew she was out of line. I don't remember what my son asked for but I remember it was some normal everyday food.
You can always tell the person commenting that they should mind their own business.
The other day I was in Costco with my 2 year old. We were having "one of those days." He was very grumpy and needed a nap. My husband was out of town for work and it seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Always seems to happen when I am on my own--house issues, unexpected errands, phone calls, etc. Just part of life. Well, despite the grumpy child I needed to grab a prescription from Costco before picking up by older kids. Sometimes you just have to live your life and get things done. I am not one to allow my kids to throw items in the cart or grab random items or junk food. I'm pretty strict about what we can get when going to Costco or the grocery store. We are moving quickly past the candy section with the giant boxes of gum. My grumpy 2 year old yells out, "Gum, gum, I want some gum." I tell him no, we are not buying gum.
As we are heading around the corner, a man in in his 70s or possibly early 80s says out loud to another lady, "well, I guess we know who is in charge in that household!!" in a very scolding voice.
I guess I am just unrealistic but I wish people, especially people who have "been there, done that" could be a little more encouraging. Sometimes I feel like people are just looking to make comments about how unruly or misbehaved "the children of today" are. I personally would never make comments to someone about their toddler having a fit because I know there are a million different scenerios that could have possibly led up to that moment.
Just curious if anyone else experiences this. How do you handle unsolicited comments and advice? I wish I could learn to just brush it off and not let it annoy me.
I have to laugh... you're in CO. I was just thinking about this, as I swear I'm experiencing it more and more often. I have lived in multiple states and spent several years overseas, and never have I had so many people make comments about what I'm buying, what I'm wearing, etc. in public as in CO. It really blows my mind - how do people here think it's ok to start critiquing strangers aloud?
The other day I was in Costco with my 2 year old. We were having "one of those days." He was very grumpy and needed a nap. My husband was out of town for work and it seemed like everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Always seems to happen when I am on my own--house issues, unexpected errands, phone calls, etc. Just part of life. Well, despite the grumpy child I needed to grab a prescription from Costco before picking up by older kids. Sometimes you just have to live your life and get things done. I am not one to allow my kids to throw items in the cart or grab random items or junk food. I'm pretty strict about what we can get when going to Costco or the grocery store. We are moving quickly past the candy section with the giant boxes of gum. My grumpy 2 year old yells out, "Gum, gum, I want some gum." I tell him no, we are not buying gum.
As we are heading around the corner, a man in in his 70s or possibly early 80s says out loud to another lady, "well, I guess we know who is in charge in that household!!" in a very scolding voice.
I guess I am just unrealistic but I wish people, especially people who have "been there, done that" could be a little more encouraging. Sometimes I feel like people are just looking to make comments about how unruly or misbehaved "the children of today" are. I personally would never make comments to someone about their toddler having a fit because I know there are a million different scenerios that could have possibly led up to that moment.
Just curious if anyone else experiences this. How do you handle unsolicited comments and advice? I wish I could learn to just brush it off and not let it annoy me.
Well either let it go and respond in kind. Passive aggressive posts on what to do on the internet aren't helping. Maybe next time you can ask the old man if he wants to be put in time out.
I think it's just part of going out in public and free speech. Just like the child was able to throw a fit in public, others are free to comment -- it's just how it is.
You can't just expect only those who like to gush over kids and say how cute they are to be the only ones who can talk -- you have to take the good with the bad.
Besides -- you don't know how the kids of the grumpy old man turned out. Maybe he was a terrible father and his kids all ended up in prison or on welfare - but he's still entitled to his opinion -- like it or not.
My grumpy 2 year old yells out, "Gum, gum, I want some gum." I tell him no, we are not buying gum.
As we are heading around the corner, a man in in his 70s or possibly early 80s says out loud to another lady, "well, I guess we know who is in charge in that household!!" in a very scolding voice.
I would choose to take that one as a compliment. You're the adult, you're the parent, and you're the one who should be in charge. I say good job!
Just curious if anyone else experiences this. How do you handle unsolicited comments and advice? I wish I could learn to just brush it off and not let it annoy me.
Maybe. . .I love a little conflict though. So I would just say "what the f did you just say"?
"your cursing in front of your kid? "
"nope, we don't consider f a curseword. You good for nothing, just die allready, poser without a job"
Last edited by Jaded; 11-02-2013 at 01:44 PM..
Reason: going around language filter
Ehhh, I wouldn't care. Everyone thinks they know everything. I would ignore it, life is too short to get bent about what some random old dude says to you in the store.
I'm not trying to be rude, I've just been getting some perspective on a lot of different things lately (some voluntary, some not) ... so I'm looking at a lot of situations in a new light. A few years ago I might have let something like that get to me too.
It happens. Some older people feel they have earned the right to tell the rest of us the way it's done. I just ignore them.
I've had an older woman chastise me in Wal Mart for not having a hat on my baby's head. Literally chastise me. "You got that baby out with no hat? That baby need something on her head!" My dd has always, and still does, sweat profusely in her head. Her hair and the hat would have been soaked in sweat if I left a hat on her head indoors. But I don't feel I owe some stranger I'm never going to see again any explanation. I just kept on walking with my poor hatless child and left the old woman to her outrage. My child has manage to survive to age 6 without always having her head covered, so whatever lady.
Don't let it bother you, it's a waste of energy.
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