The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (student, kids)
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Please stop making this political. One can use "welfare" and still be anti-Obama. It is allowed, you know. I don't agree with the decisions Ivory is making in regards to this situation, but the multiple posts basically saying for her daughter to get an abortion even after Ivory said her daughter doesn't want one under any circumstances and the anti-conservative posts are getting ridiculous.
Yeah, some people just can't help themselves. They need to take it to POC.
It doesn't sound like the op is helping the daughter find a place, which I find strange. She comments that "they are looking in the wrong places" and that the boyfriend's parents are helping but I wonder why the op doesn't offer to help. I know that she said that she doesn't want the daughter back in her house but can't she help her look for a place of her own, guide her in terms of budget, etc.? It is her daughter who is homeless. This is a really sad situation.
Why should she help them? They're both adults, albeit immature, but they can do it themselves.
That would be the OP who made sure everyone knew about her disdain for the Affordable Card Act.
What does being against the ACA have to do with using Food Stamps? The provisions of the ACA are meaningful in this conversation because they do affect this situation.
That would be the OP who made sure everyone knew about her disdain for the Affordable Card Act.
You mean the Affordable Care Act that will be covering her daughter's pregnancy (pre-existing condition) because the OP can't take her off her own insurance fast enough even though it isn't costing her any more in premiums? The ACA that will help ensure her grandchild had prenatal care and a better chance at being born healthy? The ACA that seems to be doing more to care for her daughter's health and well being than her own mother?
What does being against the ACA have to do with using Food Stamps? The provisions of the ACA are meaningful in this conversation because they do affect this situation.
I think what Dew is saying is that the OP brought POC into this thread when she referred to the ACA as "Obummercare" at the outset. It seems quite hypocritical to be trashing the very thing that you are encouraging your daughter to take advantage of, even when, despite the OP's protestations, it is NOT necessary in her case. She can keep her daughter on her insurance plan. She just chooses not to.
And, as recently as a couple of hours ago, Ivory was still joining in on the anti-Obama bashing on POC.
Youngest daughter gets $1000/month in SS benefits, does she not? Let her put herself through school.
You may call those that need welfare stupid. In your case, it's pure karma. I apologize in advance for not offering sympathy and constructive criticism, but it's been shown post after post, you aren't interested in any advice that requires you to do some self-examination and soul searching.
We know enough to know your husband was able to retire and that the social security offered monthly $$ for your minor child of a retired person; and that you were ready to turn that money down because you didn't need it. We know DD1 had a bedroom in your house up until 1 month ago that is now sitting empty. We know that you somehow managed to keep your job for the next school year. It isn't that you CAN'T help, it's that you WON'T help.
As I said up thread, you like to say you "have no choice." BS. You have choices. You offered up only one solution and then passed her on to the taxpayers to deal with.
She could move into her old room.
She could move into an apartment that you generously help her find and put down a deposit on.
You could subsidize her living expenses until she's able to get on her feet.
You could keep her on your insurance so she gets the best prenatal care possible.
You could stock her refrigerator.
You could help her shop for furniture at garage sales.
You could help her budget to see if she even needs much help from you or the government.
But no. You sign her up for welfare as soon as the stick turns pink.
So many ignorant posts here; this might be the worst. You must have reading comprehension issues; if so, Im so sorry. She already stated over and over why she can't move back in. She's already said over and over that she will help her. This girl has made her choice. It was a planned decision, this wasnt a mistake. If she's old enough to make that decision, she's old enough to do what has to be done. No where has Ivory said she wouldnt help her where she could. The only thing she has said definitely that she would not let them move back in, and that is the absolute best decision, from the girl's past history.
Not fair, guys. I understand her ambivalence in this situation.
Right now her mind is conjuring up the most desperate situation for a pregnant teen.
It's easy for us to look at the situation simply. There's one thing we don't have that she does in all this and that's emotion.
What you go through as a mother of a pregnant teen is indescribable. As I sit here looking at my baby granddaughter. They will all figure it out. That's for sure. However they do it will be what's best for them. Right now the feelings and fear are so raw.
Thank you. Right now I'm seeing every dream I had for my dd die. A college education was going to be her ticket to a stable income for herself and her kids. Several more years of growing up was going to get her ready to be a great mom. I wanted her to have a home and a stable relationship before she brought a child into this world. To have a chance to travel and enjoy life and be really sure she was ready to settle down with a baby. Having a baby turns everything upside down and strains the best of relationships. I feel like she's still a child herself.
I hope they do figure it out but you are right. Right now fear is very raw. While the chances are the end result won't be the worst case scenario, chances are it won't be the best either. I don't know where my baby is going to land. I've seen several bad situations but few great ones that started with a pregnant teenager. This is not anyplace I'd wish any mother to be.
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