The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (punishment, best)
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Because it's her daughter and her daughter is pregnant and homeless and this will be her first time ever getting an apartment. Why in the world wouldn't the op help her take this step into adulthood?
Because mom works fulltime and is still raising another daughter? DD1 only works part-time and has quasi-inlaws also searching. Mommy doesn't need to do the search for her. Mommy's letting her grow up. What have you got against that?
No one (at least not me) is saying that you should totally support your daughter but more "provide some assistance" and not totally "wash your hands of the situation" and insist that the rest of us taxpayerssupport your daughter. Perhaps you could use some of the money that you were planning on using for DD#1's college tuition and college expenses. If she didn't get pregnant she would have been a full time college student in the fall. Didn't you once mention that you had savings set aside for her for college? What is happening to that money now?
I also recall you posting that the unexpected $1,000 a month that DD#2 receives from the government, because one parent is retired, would allow you to save even more money for college expenses for DD#1.
Perhaps some of that money could be used now as college is not in DD#1's immediate future.
Exactly. But it's all or nothing as usual. Remember when ivory was convinced dd1 was going to hook and be murdered on the street if she was asked to move out and take responsibility for herself? There's never any wiggle room. It's always one way and that's the end of it.
No one (at least not me) is saying that you should totally support your daughter but more "provide some assistance" and not totally "wash your hands of the situation" and insist that the rest of us taxpayerssupport your daughter. Perhaps you could use some of the money that you were planning on using for DD#1's college tuition and college expenses. If she didn't get pregnant she would have been a full time college student in the fall. Didn't you once mention that you had savings set aside for her for college? What is happening to that money now?
I also recall you posting that the unexpected $1,000 a month that DD#2 receives from the government, because one parent is retired, would allow you to save even more money for college expenses for DD#1.
Perhaps some of that money could be used now as college is not in DD#1's immediate future.
Actually, if you recall, Ivory said that it wouldn't be right to use that SS windfall to benefit both daughters and expressly vetoed any suggestions on how to accomplish that. Ivory claims the Government wanted it to help DD2 go to college not to help DD1 in any way, shape or form. It apparently was not to be touched when DD2's poor choices required legal help.
Exactly. But it's all or nothing as usual. Remember when ivory was convinced dd1 was going to hook and be murdered on the street if she was asked to move out and take responsibility for herself? There's never any wiggle room. It's always one way and that's the end of it.
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
To be honest I would have kept her home to avoid the pregnancy as I feared this would be her next step but now that she's pregnant she needs to grow up fast and that means being responsible for herself. It's not about her anymore.
No I wasn't comfortable with kicking her out with no arrangements for a place to stay. What parent would be? Obviously she figured it out well enough to get knocked up. When I've seen her she's been in clean clothes and had recently showered. That tells me she's not on the street in a box.
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
To be honest I would have kept her home to avoid the pregnancy as I feared this would be her next step but now that she's pregnant she needs to grow up fast and that means being responsible for herself. It's not about her anymore.
How is she responsible for herself? She's going to be looked after by her SO and the rest of these United States Of America.
Because mom works fulltime and is still raising another daughter? DD1 only works part-time and has quasi-inlaws also searching. Mommy doesn't need to do the search for her. Mommy's letting her grow up. What have you got against that?
DD1 works full time and she's pregnant with her first child and it sounds like as of late, she has been trying to reach out to her mom. Why wouldn't mom help? She's a teacher so I'm guessing she's off for the summer and has time to help her daughter. What do you have against a mother helping out a daughter who needs her mom?
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
To be honest I would have kept her home to avoid the pregnancy as I feared this would be her next step but now that she's pregnant she needs to grow up fast and that means being responsible for herself. It's not about her anymore.
No I wasn't comfortable with kicking her out with no arrangements for a place to stay. What parent would be? Obviously she figured it out well enough to get knocked up. When I've seen her she's been in clean clothes and had recently showered. That tells me she's not on the street in a box.
You've just described a lot of homeless young women. Most aren't living in boxes, but rather couch surfing or occasionally sleeping in someone's car or shed. She really is considered homeless whether she is clean or not.
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
No, you aren't. Which is why you need to offer some real guidance and support.
I never said SS was welfare. I asked why, if DD2 was getting the $1000/month you claimed she was, you are still worrying about paying for her college.
If you read other posts, I don't think she's on the street. And yes, I'm concerned for her safety but that doesn't mean I welcome her back into a situation that would just enable her to do nothing. You're right. There's no wiggle room on her coming home. BTDT you can see what her response was to getting kicked out. She got knocked up. Do you really think I'm dealing with a grown up here?
To be honest I would have kept her home to avoid the pregnancy as I feared this would be her next step but now that she's pregnant she needs to grow up fast and that means being responsible for herself. It's not about her anymore.
No I wasn't comfortable with kicking her out with no arrangements for a place to stay. What parent would be? Obviously she figured it out well enough to get knocked up. When I've seen her she's been in clean clothes and had recently showered. That tells me she's not on the street in a box.
If she really is 8 weeks pregnant she conceived her baby in late April while she was still living at home under your supervision. (according to your previous thread she moved out May 17).
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-26-2014 at 09:23 PM..
If she really is 8 weeks pregnant she conceived her baby in late April while she was still living at home under your supervision. (according to your previous thread she moved out May 17).
Eight weeks pregnant is six weeks from conception. It would appear the two events coincided.
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