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Please don't force the older kids to "keep an eye out" for the younger ones. It is too much responsibility, and most kids don't want it anyway.
One of my daughters has high functioning autism, she is 15 and she LOVES little kids. She is really good with them. As a result, people often dump their kids on her when she's outside and assume she will watch them. My DD at 15 w/autism doesn't have much more safety sense than some of the younger kids do, and even if she did, it is not her job to be the neighborhood babysitter. If something tragic happened like a child running out in front of a car and getting hit, she would never be able to live with herself if she thought it was her fault.
Parents assume the responsibility for their own children. Don't make children watch each other, and then be surprised when something tragic happens. Kids are not watching each other. Parents might feel more secure if they know there are older children around, but I can guarantee unless specifically asked, they will not be watching out for the safety of anyone's kids.
Back 10 years ago lots kids played outside in my neighborhood. Then the amount dropped as they were getting older, graduating highschool and moving on. I rarely see kids walk by my house anymore. Sometimes I may see a few but they're just going to the mall that's a few blocks away.
Though my neighborhood isn't that children friendly, it's a pretty big area with a few straights that have a speed limit of 30. Not a good place for a 5 year old to run around. Though down the road there's a small neighborhood(maybe 25-30 homes, and only 2 streets to exit the area) kids play outside all of the time. A friend of mine lives there and I went over a few months ago. I thought they were having a party or something lol. Lots of kids on their bikes, scooters etc with other kids.
She lives in a different country where it's the norm still today. Neighborhoods are different there too.
The park across the street isn't as far away from the windows of her house as you're imagining.
I lived in many other countries, with varying cultures. I don't care if it is PC or not. Leaving a group of toddlers unattended is a stupid idea.
She lives in a different country where it's the norm still today. Neighborhoods are different there too.
The park across the street isn't as far away from the windows of her house as you're imagining.
Indeed, I can see part of the park from my bedroom window as long as there aren't too many cars in the carpark and there really isn't much to worry about in my neighbourhood. The only cars are generally the people that live here leaving and coming back from work, there's speed bumps so they all drive slowly and of course they know there are kids out playing so are careful because of that. I've never heard of a kid being snatched or anything like that here, crime in this town is pretty much limited to drug related crimes. There's no dangerous animals to attack the kids and they're not allowed to go to the lake (and no ponds or pools etc for them to fall in). This is a safe place for toddlers and other kids to play and I hope it continues to be that way.
Please don't force the older kids to "keep an eye out" for the younger ones. It is too much responsibility, and most kids don't want it anyway.
One of my daughters has high functioning autism, she is 15 and she LOVES little kids. She is really good with them. As a result, people often dump their kids on her when she's outside and assume she will watch them. My DD at 15 w/autism doesn't have much more safety sense than some of the younger kids do, and even if she did, it is not her job to be the neighborhood babysitter. If something tragic happened like a child running out in front of a car and getting hit, she would never be able to live with herself if she thought it was her fault.
Parents assume the responsibility for their own children. Don't make children watch each other, and then be surprised when something tragic happens. Kids are not watching each other. Parents might feel more secure if they know there are older children around, but I can guarantee unless specifically asked, they will not be watching out for the safety of anyone's kids.
I agree with this. Parents should not expect older kids to watch theirs, unless they have specifically hired the older kid to babysit. It's not just the autistic 15 yr olds who have little sense of safety for little kids, either.
Yes, kids in my neighborhood are outside playing (mostly unsupervised) all day long and I love it. It was one of the main reasons we bought into the neighborhood. When our daughter gets old enough (she's only 11mo), I fully intend to let her run and play outside with the other neighborhood kids, much like I used to do when I was growing up.
I live in a suburb of Houston. There's a big group of boys in middle school and junior high who play outside pretty much every day in one of the cul-de-sacs.
My kids are 5, 7, 8. We operate on the principal that your level of freedom is based on how responsible you have proven yourself to be. Boundaries are renegotiated every summer.
The oldest can play unsupervised on our street and the one behind ours (further out there is construction so she is not currently allowed there). The middle child can go with the oldest, or if she is on her own she has to stay on our street. The youngest can ride his bike as far as 4 houses down without supervision or play in our yard.
They know that I spot check and that if I see anyone breaking the rules (younger two aren't allowed to ride in the street, outside the boudnaries, etc), the bike/scooter is confiscated and you're grounded. I also have a comfy couch on my front patio where I can sit and watch them play.
The two girls 2 doors down (ages 7 and 10) have pretty much the same rules, so all of our girls usually run in a pack. They made some new friends (6 and 9) on the street behind us whose parents decided to adopt our rules once we explained why we thought it was safe enough. None of the kids that I know are allowed outside unsupervised after dusk.
All of the parents have given permission for the neighbors to discipline and/or tattle on their children. I've made several children walk back home and get their bike helmets.
On the other end of the spectrum, the 11-year-old girl who lives directly behind us isn't allowed to walk to our house without an older sibling with her; we each live on the corner, so it's essentially just walking the length of the yards...on a sidewalk.
Yes. They play outside a lot. Especially in the summer. If they aren't playing in the neighborhood yards, they are meeting someplace like the neighborhood pool. My child was at the pool for about 8 hours yesterday.
Our pool does not allow unsupervised children until they are 13, though. So, my granddaughter and her friends can go to the park alone, but not to the pool which is in the same place.
I sit outside and do homework while my son plays with neighborhood friends. Often I just have everyone over to swim in our pool while doing homework.
I am in the counseling field (almost graduated) and there are far too many pedophiles to let children run free!
I find it very interesting to note that when I was a kid (born 1965) we were allowed to run pretty much free as long as we got home in time for dinner. Crime rates in the mid 1970s were FAR FAR HIGHER than they are today. Yet today's parents don't let their children out of their sight. It really makes no sense.
If they aren't playing in the neighborhood yards, they are meeting someplace like the neighborhood pool. My child was at the pool for about 8 hours yesterday.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053
Our pool does not allow unsupervised children until they are 13, though.
This exchange brought back memories. Our town had a summer activity bus for the pool. We'd walk to elementary school two miles away to catch the bus, and then we'd spend the entire day at the pool until the bus came to take everyone home. We were definitely younger than 13 when we started going. I can pinpoint 10 years old for certain, but I may have taken the pool bus younger too.
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