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Just go ahead and do it. You both will find a way to make it work. Something else to consider is tomorrow isn't guaranteed. So get busy and take out more 20-30 year term life insurance and enjoy your family.
If you want another kid then go for it. Do it while young.
Couldn't agree more. Somehow when you are doing what is right and positive for you and yours, things sort of fall into place. Other wise you put it off and the next thing you know you're too old and you have already wasted your money on something else.
The only part I find odd is that she said it in an e-mail. I always knew I wanted to have 2 kids close together, so that's what we did. You only live once.
ETA you should probably look at your finances and see if you can afford to live on just your income. Child care for 2 will likely eat up most of her income.
Wow... the point of this thread wasn't for people like you to bash me and my family at all... but I get it... I put myself out there and our situation but didn't expect messages like this.
I work the 2nd job for extra income... not because we need it to survive. Many family have a parent who work a 2nd job for extra money. What's wrong with that? Yes I admitted in my original message that taking on another child may be a bit much at this time...
But for you to tell a complete stranger to give up their kids for a better life? Who the hell are you?
The Parenting forum always brings out some judgmental posters who think they know best, I'd ignore all that. You are clearing working hard for a family you love, and trying to be understanding of what your wife wants, that says everything about you.
If you feel this is not the right time, you have every right to be firm, and say no. The decision when/if to have a child should be agreed upon by both parents. You have made a good case for waiting, hopefully she will be able to respect that, and accept waiting awhile. It sounds like she is running on pure emotion, those feelings often wax and wane. I would try giving her a timeline, i.e. it's a no right now, but can be discussed again in some reasonable amount of time. She may change her mind by then.
The Parenting forum always brings out some judgmental posters who think they know best, I'd ignore all that. You are clearing working hard for a family you love, and trying to be understanding of what your wife wants, that says everything about you.
If you feel this is not the right time, you have every right to be firm, and say no. The decision when/if to have a child should be agreed upon by both parents. You have made a good case for waiting, hopefully she will be able to respect that, and accept waiting awhile. It sounds like she is running on pure emotion, those feelings often wax and wane. I would try giving her a timeline, i.e. it's a no right now, but can be discussed again in some reasonable amount of time. She may change her mind by then.
The entire thread can be disregarded now. ^^Best advice on it.
Hi all... this thread doesn't specifically have to be just for the dads, moms can put in their 2 cents as well! Just want to hear how others have reacted or what they thought as soon as this is brought up.
My wife sends an email to me just 20 minutes ago... the subject line says "Just a thought".
The message in the email... "I want to have another baby".
We have an 18-month old daughter who's just wonderful... I know the "plan" has been to have at least 2 kids at minimum. I currently have a career job that I work for making mid $40K per year and she works making roughly $30k per year. I also work a part time gig to just help make ends meet and try and put extra money away when possible.
So my initial reaction is, "wow... I would probably need a third job"! LOL...
Ugh... it's like... as much as I'd love that 2nd child, I'm exhausted from working so much just to make things work now!
How have others fared when this has come up? Just curious...
Had my wife sent me this message, my response would've been, "I'm warming up the bed for you as I type this." or "how soon can we get started?" or "if you hurry, we can get started before sundown."
Kids are beautiful and what it takes to make them thrive, is care and love of their parents. This costs nothing. You make the adjustments to give them that, even if it means moving, changing jobs, studying at night while they sleep, whatever you have to do. You're young and strong. You can do it. If my wife told me she wanted another kid, there is no way that I would turn down the chance to have another one, and I never did either. Just my opinion.
Had my wife sent me this message, my response would've been, "I'm warming up the bed for you as I type this." or "how soon can we get started?" or "if you hurry, we can get started before sundown."
Kids are beautiful and what it takes to make them thrive, is care and love of their parents. This costs nothing. You make the adjustments to give them that, even if it means moving, changing jobs, studying at night while they sleep, whatever you have to do. You're young and strong. You can do it. If my wife told me she wanted another kid, there is no way that I would turn down the chance to have another one, and I never did either. Just my opinion.
I disagree with the bolded part. My daughter and son are 21 months apart and its been great! But it could depend on the child, too. Our oldest was sleeping 12 hours at night long before her little brother was born so that helped out immensely.
I'm sure it depends on the children.
What I am trying to say is that while it might be easy, it would almost certainly be even easier if you wait for a three or four year gap. We are talking about a two-working-parent family here.
Get started on the backup kid. If you wait too long, the chance of genetic abnormalities increases. That will really kill your finances.
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