Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
On the positive side, my son had a very bad day and ended up having a huge, huge fit at check out at a store. He wanted something I said no to. He is 10 and a big guy and there was only so much I could do to control him. So everyone was in for the ride. It was epic. He has never done anything like that. Not even as a toddler.
All I got was lots of mommy love from those around me. Lots of pats on the back, lots of "you are doing a good job" and "we have all been there". A social worker who works with children ended up staying with me until everything was under control.
Not a single bad remark or noticeable glare. So not everyone is a jerk. I would guess only a few out there...but they like to post.
Yes you were obnoxious and out of line. Surely there was a more graceful way to approach the situation. And yes, the mother should have corrected her child.
One of the things I could never understand is this going out to Chuck E. Cheese's to let the kids do whatever they want. I mean, out in public is out in public, no matter where you are, and I'd think it would be as confusing as all get out for a kid to be allowed to run around and yell as much as he wants at Chuck E. Cheese, but then when he goes into another restaurant or a library or a store, he gets yelled at for doing exactly what he did before.
It's all about behaving appropriately for the venue. In Chuck E. Cheese, or an inflatable bounce place, or a playground at the park, running around and screaming IS appropriate behavior. In a library or a store, or on a plane or in church, it is not. Kids can, and should, be taught to behave appropriately according to the situation they are in. But it's not as simple as "in public = quiet."
Add me to the list of people who think you did not handle that very well. That said, I think a lot of parents no idea what to do when it comes to effective, investment, positive discipline. They don't know what they CAN expect from their kids and how to achieve it. Ineffective punishment and reward systems are put into place instead of effective teaching techniques. There is a very common expectation that parenting is done by instinct. Suggesting that effective discipline can be
- learned
- easy (once the skills are ingrained)
- pretty much over by the time the kid is 10
is met with disbelief, even such vehement denial as if this notion is some kind of criticism. This parent may have just not had any tools in her arsenal to know what to DO. Heap yet another punishment?
Vicki Hoefle has a bit in either her book or her educational series (Can't remember which) about restaurant teaching. It's just SMART. Anyone who is struggling with behavior of their kids should look her up.
Maybe I'm showing my middle age (51) and just don't tolerate well some things. The other night, I went to a restaurant by myself. I was chomping my food down when a kid down the long table started pounding his hands and making noise on the table while his mother did nothing to stop it. At first, I thought that she would stop it, but it became clear that she wouldn't. I started pounding my hands on the table and got her attention. She didn't like that I was "making fun" of her precious bundle and told me that he was "just a kid". I told her that she was "just a mom", that I was making fun of her and that she should mind her kid and teach him some manners. She threatened to throw water on me and called me an "old man". Blah, blah. Is this the new normal in the way that parents raise their kids? Was I out of line? Maybe I just should avoid these "family restaurants" if this is the way that families are these days? I lose hope in people with experiences like this.
I am 62, and I think you acted just as childishly as the child.
Btw, as old as you (we) are, have you never heard the expressions "Two wrongs don't make a right" or "Use your words"?
Oh my..So now because you and your family had a rough/sad/devistating day and other's just trying to do mondain things like shop or enjoy a meal..has to have understanding of all about how YOU all feel.. Please stop..because for all you know that old lady had just as bad a day as you..told she had cancer..or 6 months to live..or her husband will never get well..or her grandchild just became ill..YOU never once considered anyone else feelings either...SMH
Course..I am not denying your family issue at all..BUT when living in a society..why should you expose your youngsters and yourself to such environment...Far too many expect other's to respect your space and feelings..yet have no RESPECT for the rights of other's the same GDT...
Just maybe..take your kid's thru a drive thru to catch fast food..or maybe go home..order in..or better yet..have someone watch your kids..and go shop or pickup items without unruly kids in tow??
Just have never quit understood such thinkings I guess?????????????
Did you not read that they spent the entire day at Children's Hospital because it was thought that her infant child might have a terminal brain disease?!!
Yes, I think almost everyone has had a bad day, at least occasionally, and they do not always behave in a nice, polite and pleasant way -- and I certainly do include myself in that!! -- but never would I think that my bad behavior or any adult's bad behavior should just be excused! (Unless, of course, they are suffering from some kind of mental illness.)
But, yes, I do think that children should be taught to be polite and to respect others. Unfortunately,, that takes time.
Last edited by katharsis; 10-05-2015 at 10:29 AM..
So the woman in question with the disruptive child should leave a 50% tip for behavior that shows lack of parenting skills and lack of consideration for other customers?
We don't know the parent showed a lack of parenting skills.
The OP has now admitted he was in a family-style BBQ joint. He was at a place where adults were eating with their hands, devouring plates full of messy chicken and ribs and, probably, licking sauce off their fingers. For all we know the little tyke, who was not running around the restaurant knocking people over, could have been expressing his happiness at being in a place where he wasn't the only person wearing a bib. Or because the sauce was table-slapping good.
I don't mind watching a happy kid enjoying his meal in a family style BBQ joint. Do you?
Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-05-2015 at 10:34 AM..
On the positive side, my son had a very bad day and ended up having a huge, huge fit at check out at a store. He wanted something I said no to. He is 10 and a big guy and there was only so much I could do to control him. So everyone was in for the ride. It was epic. He has never done anything like that. Not even as a toddler.
If I did something like that, my dad would have absolutely lit me up when I got home
Well let's see. You could have called the manager over and ask him to deal with it, or you could have told your server to move you to another table, or you could have spoken nicely to the mother and asked her to put a stop to it. But instead, you banged back. Maybe it's not the new way of raising kids, since you seem to have had a similar upbringing.
Mirroring is a very useful tactic to get people to SEE that they are annoying others. I don't blame him at all. He didn't walk up and scream in the brats face, he didn't slap the brat, he merely mimicked it's annoying actions.
If I did something like that, my dad would have absolutely lit me up when I got home
Well I sure wasn't happy when we got home. Not sure what lighting someone up is, I doubt I did that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Or because the sauce was table-slapping good. 
