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That's a hard life indeed.... much like many of the single mothers in my circle. They are all struggling and admit that its not an ideal situation for themselves or their children.
Dating/finding a spouse... is far at the bottom of their list of priorities. Even if they managed it, it is difficult to date and the dating pool of men willing to be with a single mother is small. I had a relationship with a single mother for a while, you have to accept that her children will take priority over you; not many men in their 20-30s are willing to accept that. I couldn't just call her up and say "let's hang out." Much of our quality time was spent together during her breaks at work.
It was like that with my ex. I dad single dad's a lot too is complicated but I like a family.
This baby fever is more common than many people think. I doubt anyone will be able to rationalize it away for you, just like the most compelling argument in the world isn't going to convince you that you're not starving or thirsty.
That being said, if you can hold off until you have a stable home (after marriage), you will give your baby a MUCH better life. Your baby needs a solid home that you can only provide after marriage and a few years into your job.
So it's time to ask yourself what's more important:
1. your needs today, or
2. your baby's needs for a stable home in 1-2 years?
You can't pick both.
That's true I do need stability. I should wait but how long? Finding a husband is so hard I've been looking for forever. I was just in a relationship that ended
I hear it isn't a simple, guaranteed, nor inexpensive. Not something that a single unemployed student can probably pull off.
Plus.... artificially insemination increases the risk of multiples. I have twins.... all the obligations a multiplied. Daycare alone would be double my house payment (property, insurance, and principle)
I don't like animals so I don't want a pet. I'm not unhinged for wanting a family at 25
The actual statement was you "sound" unhinged. Reading your posts, I'm inclined to agree. You don't sound even remotely ready to have an actual, living child who will have huge needs that have nothing to do with fixing your problems. Your "dream" child/family isn't reality.
It was like that with my ex. I dad single dad's a lot too is complicated but I like a family.
So why would you want that for yourself? I think that's what a lot of people here are saying. Even after ended our relationship with the single mother, I would occasionally pay her rent to help out. Her children are older now and their relationship with her is strained mainly because she couldn't be there for them.
I agree with most that is said here. Do some serious thinking over the decision and consult your therapist. This is a life changing decision that shouldn't be taken lightly.
btw... Your pregnant therapist is a employed medical professional. She's got a leg up on you in terms of being capable of supporting a child alone or married.
So why would you want that for yourself? I think that's what a lot of people here are saying. Even after ended our relationship with the single mother, I would occasionally pay her rent to help out. Her children are older now and their relationship with her is strained mainly because she couldn't be there for them.
I agree. Do some serious thinking over the decision and consult your therapist.
btw... Your pregnant therapist is a employed medical professional. She's got a leg up on you in terms of being capable of supporting a child alone or married.
Interestingly enough my therapist has the same license I will (hopefully) have in a month. She just had much more years of work and experience so.... she's only a few years older than me
Really, in grad school? I have to chalk you up as a troll. If you are for real, God help that child if you, LIKE get pregnant.
I mean you can think what you want. I am. I'm not going to get pregnant tomorrow. I'm thinking more when the military guy is back which is summer fall time. I think if I have a job and apartment that's all I need and he will be a happy dad because he wants kids and be supportive and he will have medical and stuff and our income will be decent together I think
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