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Old 01-23-2016, 03:05 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,000 posts, read 10,143,281 times
Reputation: 12392

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Quote:
Originally Posted by OverItAll View Post
For your sister to buy the dress WITHOUT ASKING THE MOTHER FIRST was really poor form.
She was well intentioned and just wanted to help the girl out, but it WAS charity and I can easily appreciate how the Mother would be embarrassed and angry at her daughter for accepting.

For your sister to try to get their home address and show up at their house would be REALLY pushy and would prob make the Mother even MORE uncomfortable. Your sister would be forcing the Mother to talk to her, is she more concerned with the Mother's comfort level or her own? Sounds like your sister is more interested in making herself feel better about what happened than respecting the Mother's boundary, as evidenced by her not anawering her phone.

I have paid for stuff for my kids' pals when they were younger and we had money aplenty, but always asked the Mother first; after I was widowed we had a lot less money and some of my kids' pals' Mothers would treat them to stuff and I was really embarrassed, but grateful, and my kids knew to not accept until they asked me and I gave the OK.

There's a charity that gives formal dresses to girls for prom, the girl may be able to find one near her. They have them all over the country, just Google "donate prom dress".
I agree.

It's just too bad that a situation that started out with such good intentions ended up so badly.
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Old 01-23-2016, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 1,596,909 times
Reputation: 2426
Honestly, your sister should have asked the family first before buying the dress. But what's done is done. I'd drop off a note apologizing. Her parents said no to the invitation and maybe the dress was just a cover story; not your sister's place to trump that parenting decision.
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Old 01-23-2016, 04:49 PM
 
Location: Santa Rosa
486 posts, read 614,613 times
Reputation: 497
Maybe the daughter was just rejecting the son and being nice about it. Or maybe the daughter was grounded and was just using the dress as an excuse.
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Old 01-23-2016, 05:46 PM
 
10,404 posts, read 7,492,263 times
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I heard it 50 times in boot camp: Good initiative, bad judgement.

But you know? The heck with it. If those kids want to be friends, they'll be friends. Her mom sounds like a party pooper.
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Old 01-23-2016, 11:10 PM
 
Location: So Cal
14,000 posts, read 10,143,281 times
Reputation: 12392
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
I heard it 50 times in boot camp: Good initiative, bad judgement.

But you know? The heck with it. If those kids want to be friends, they'll be friends. Her mom sounds like a party pooper.
That's true, too. She could have handled it better.
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Old 01-24-2016, 06:13 AM
 
33,052 posts, read 12,527,244 times
Reputation: 20944
I've always been suspicious of expensive gifts from virtual strangers, so if some parent bought our teen daughter a prom dress without talking with me, I'd think they were off their rockers.

Further attempts at contact are likely to be awkward at best.

A note of apology, then let it drop.

Last edited by GotHereQuickAsICould; 01-24-2016 at 06:58 AM..
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Old 01-24-2016, 07:47 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
Yeah, she should have tried talking to the parents before buying a dress. I don't blame the parents for not being happy about it. And your sister doesn't know all the ins and outs. I bet there is a lot more to the situation, none of it is your sister's business. Time to back off.
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:40 AM
 
619 posts, read 324,613 times
Reputation: 1633
I think your sister had good intentions at heart but didn't think this through. And once the other parent made their position clear, she shouldn't have involved other people in trying to get the home address. That feels like borderline stalking to me. Your sister got way too involved in this.

And really, who knows what the real story was. Maybe the girl didn't want to go. Maybe she blew her clothing allowance for the year on other things. Maybe she really couldn't afford it. Who knows?
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:55 AM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,860 posts, read 3,720,200 times
Reputation: 15267
Your sister basically usurped the girl's parent's decision. Not cool.

Flip the situation around...It's a Sadie Hawkin's dance and girl asks boy. Boy says he must ask parents first, and due to WHATEVER reason, parents say no, he can't go. He does not want to report, "My mommy says I can't go," so he comes up with a reason, "I have no appropriate dress clothes." Girl's parents buy him clothes..awkward!

Her parents said no FOR WHATEVER REASON.

1. Maybe the girl really does not want to go with the boy. She used her parents as an excuse. That's ok.
2. Maybe the girl is grounded.
3. Maybe they have family plans at the same time as the prom.
4. Who knows, who cares. Parents said no. They are her parents, so they get the say, not your sister.
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