this is what happened recently to my youngest sister
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For your sister to buy the dress WITHOUT ASKING THE MOTHER FIRST was really poor form.
She was well intentioned and just wanted to help the girl out, but it WAS charity and I can easily appreciate how the Mother would be embarrassed and angry at her daughter for accepting.
For your sister to try to get their home address and show up at their house would be REALLY pushy and would prob make the Mother even MORE uncomfortable. Your sister would be forcing the Mother to talk to her, is she more concerned with the Mother's comfort level or her own? Sounds like your sister is more interested in making herself feel better about what happened than respecting the Mother's boundary, as evidenced by her not anawering her phone.
I have paid for stuff for my kids' pals when they were younger and we had money aplenty, but always asked the Mother first; after I was widowed we had a lot less money and some of my kids' pals' Mothers would treat them to stuff and I was really embarrassed, but grateful, and my kids knew to not accept until they asked me and I gave the OK.
There's a charity that gives formal dresses to girls for prom, the girl may be able to find one near her. They have them all over the country, just Google "donate prom dress".
I agree.
It's just too bad that a situation that started out with such good intentions ended up so badly.
Honestly, your sister should have asked the family first before buying the dress. But what's done is done. I'd drop off a note apologizing. Her parents said no to the invitation and maybe the dress was just a cover story; not your sister's place to trump that parenting decision.
I've always been suspicious of expensive gifts from virtual strangers, so if some parent bought our teen daughter a prom dress without talking with me, I'd think they were off their rockers.
Further attempts at contact are likely to be awkward at best.
A note of apology, then let it drop.
Last edited by GotHereQuickAsICould; 01-24-2016 at 06:58 AM..
Yeah, she should have tried talking to the parents before buying a dress. I don't blame the parents for not being happy about it. And your sister doesn't know all the ins and outs. I bet there is a lot more to the situation, none of it is your sister's business. Time to back off.
I think your sister had good intentions at heart but didn't think this through. And once the other parent made their position clear, she shouldn't have involved other people in trying to get the home address. That feels like borderline stalking to me. Your sister got way too involved in this.
And really, who knows what the real story was. Maybe the girl didn't want to go. Maybe she blew her clothing allowance for the year on other things. Maybe she really couldn't afford it. Who knows?
Your sister basically usurped the girl's parent's decision. Not cool.
Flip the situation around...It's a Sadie Hawkin's dance and girl asks boy. Boy says he must ask parents first, and due to WHATEVER reason, parents say no, he can't go. He does not want to report, "My mommy says I can't go," so he comes up with a reason, "I have no appropriate dress clothes." Girl's parents buy him clothes..awkward!
Her parents said no FOR WHATEVER REASON.
1. Maybe the girl really does not want to go with the boy. She used her parents as an excuse. That's ok.
2. Maybe the girl is grounded.
3. Maybe they have family plans at the same time as the prom.
4. Who knows, who cares. Parents said no. They are her parents, so they get the say, not your sister.
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