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Heavy drinking here in Glasgow has always been seen as acceptable and being a man.... men who didnt drink or drink much were made fun of by other men and told they were pansies, if only they knew, falling about talking daft, wasting money , being abusive to the family and others isnt being a man or a father, its being a trashy ignorant obnoxious clown .The sad thing is that most are seen as this great guy outside the house, mr wonderful whos the life and soul of the party until the lights go out...One very sad thing I heard from a married women years ago, whos hubby lived in the pub more or less, was this...........Uch well if he s doon the pub getting drunk, I know where he is, he could be doing worse..... how sad that it was just a way of life and for some still is....
Any parent needs to know that they are setting their children up for failure if they think that the children aren't paying attention to your actions.. Believe me parents your children are like little sponges. Watching and copying your actions because they want to be like you. Get your act together and be a good example to your children....
My spouse ex was an alcoholic who couldn't find time to spend with his two children and was mean and belligerent when he drank. When they divorced, both kids late teens, early twenties, they made an effort to have a relationship, only asked that he not drink. He wasn't willing to give it up and now, 20+ years later, they have no relationship with him and he has never seen his grandchildren. That was his choice.
[quote=eok;44194129]What's special about fathers? Plenty of mothers give higher priority to drinking than to their children.
Even worse is having two dysfunctional alcoholics raise you. My childhood was hell because of their alcoholism and all the rest that goes with the neglect and abuse.
I was raised in a time that people turned a blind eye to it and the children had no way out. It was just something we had to endure until we were old enough to sink or swim on our own. My brother sank. I didn't walk, I ran to the nearest exit. I didn't care if I had to shovel crap for a living as long as that part of my life was left behind me forever.
My brother became my mother's drinking buddy and codependent. It was a very sick relationship.
I unfortunately see it happening with the precious girls in my life. The mother is never sober when I drop them off after our visit. It breaks my heart. She's kind of a mean drunk, but I haven't seen any abuse. In a way I feel sorry for her because she has a rough life. Yes she created it, but she's not handling it in a responsible way.
I'll never understand the mentality of someone pouring poison down their body like that day after day. It's either severe denial or severe stupidity. Or could it also be a form of self hatred?
The Disease is the disease. The behavior is some of the symptoms.
Learn the difference. Because NO ONE ever says, I want the disease of leukemia, It WAS NOT A CHOICE.
For some its rubbish, because... they have not been educated on the conditions and its biological altercations.
I am not advocating the BEHAVIOR or the People who ultimately pay the price for this disease.
What is a choice is the help available.
Yet until a person gets to the point of accepting their ailment and getting help, the family suffers....because of the Behavior as mentioned....Poor decisions, Poor financial responsibility.
I've yet to see inspiration to getting well when the very support group they reside in has such angst for the person instead of understanding the disease.
Heavy drinking here in Glasgow has always been seen as acceptable and being a man.... men who didnt drink or drink much were made fun of by other men and told they were pansies, if only they knew, falling about talking daft, wasting money , being abusive to the family and others isnt being a man or a father, its being a trashy ignorant obnoxious clown .The sad thing is that most are seen as this great guy outside the house, mr wonderful whos the life and soul of the party until the lights go out...One very sad thing I heard from a married women years ago, whos hubby lived in the pub more or less, was this...........Uch well if he s doon the pub getting drunk, I know where he is, he could be doing worse..... how sad that it was just a way of life and for some still is....
It's not so common in America. A stumblebum who can't hold his liquor is an object of derision here. Binge drinking is common among college students and young adults, but you don't see it much in family age men. If they drink heavily, they try to hide it. Bartenders are legally required to stop serving anyone who becomes visibly intoxicated. They can be fined or lose their license if they don't.
I haven't made it to Scotland yet, but in Ireland I saw a guy at the bar who was so drunk that when he tipped back his glass he fell off the bar stool and spilled his drink. He was too drunk to stand up again, so they propped him up against the bar stool and poured him another beer. I admire the Scots and the Irish for their whisky, but not their drinking culture. I know how to hold my liquor.
I'm what is known as a "two fisted" drinker. One fist holds a glass of whisky, neat. The other fist holds a glass of ice water. The first couple of shots go down pretty quick, then I sip the ice water more than I sip the whisky. A shot will last me about an hour, so I feel sociable without getting drunk.
I do overindulge on special occasions. I'm an amiable drunk. After 5 or 6 drinks, I will sit in the corner and chuckle quietly. My wife thinks I'm a hoot when I'm stewed.
I do overindulge on special occasions. I'm an amiable drunk. After 5 or 6 drinks, I will sit in the corner and chuckle quietly. My wife thinks I'm a hoot when I'm stewed.
My brother died because he couldn't stop drinking. He spent thousands upon thousands of dollars for treatment in several centers. He was in hospital many times and when he stabilized they sent him home. And the cycle started over.
My bro was a ticketed millwright in a mine and worked up until his death. His two teenage sons lived in a different city and my brother spend thousands of dollars in traveling and hotels just to see them a couple times a month. He also left them a fortune inheritance.
His guilt was so huge it knocked him back time after time. The pain was just too much and for too long and his system finally gave out. He was 53 !!!
Do people not see that alcoholism is a disease? Willpower does not exist. Yes it is very damaging to approximately 15 people around each alcoholic According to my 12 step program only about 3% of users stay sober even after successful treatment.
It is a social epidemic that is largely ignored. Banning smoking and huge excise taxes on tobacco should be extended to alcoholic beverages. How many people would welcome prohibition. NOT.
Statistics do not support the actual truth. Rarely will people admit their drinking habits when surveyed.
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Even worse is having two dysfunctional alcoholics raise you. My childhood was hell because of their alcoholism and all the rest that goes with the neglect and abuse. 