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Well the situation is over but we never did hear who the people were that she was visiting and whether she made the trip and what her parents thought of the whole thing?
She visited her cousin and his wife who are both twenty-one years old. Her parents consist of a single mother and she must have been okay with her going because she went on the trip. I sent another niece a check for her high school graduation and Navy boot camp graduation and she sent me a text thanking me for the card.
Per Emily Post: Gifts of money. In your note, let the giver know how you’ll use a money gift—to furnish your apartment or add to your savings. It’s up to you whether you mention the amount, but doing so let’s the giver know the funds arrived intact.
I've never heard that it was RUDE to thank someone for a monetary gift.
She visited her cousin and his wife who are both twenty-one years old. Her parents consist of a single mother and she must have been okay with her going because she went on the trip. I sent another niece a check for her high school graduation and Navy boot camp graduation and she sent me a text thanking me for the card.
Per Emily Post: Gifts of money. In your note, let the giver know how you’ll use a money gift—to furnish your apartment or add to your savings. It’s up to you whether you mention the amount, but doing so let’s the giver know the funds arrived intact.
I've never heard that it was RUDE to thank someone for a monetary gift.
Thanks for your input. I am done.
But you knew what she was using it for already. And another niece thanks you for the card instead of the money and that's ok? Why?
I didn't say it was okay that the other niece sent a text thanking me for the card. I was merely stating that another niece did the exact same thing. They are 17 and 18, respectively. My husband works hard for our money and it would have been nice that the recipients of said money would have acknowledged it. Life goes on!
I've actually always known that it was rude to mention a monetary amount in a thank you note. I'm not sure where I heard it from first. I know the niece COULD have mentioned it, but she may have heard the same thing I did. I suppose she could have said "thank you for the card and the money toward my trip," but I don't know how it would have made things much different. You knew she was going to put the money toward the trip. She said thank you. I don't know what else you want.
If she hadn't sent a thank you of some sort, I could understand you being upset. She did, though.
From your posts, OP, it seems like you didn't want to send money period. She DID acknowledge it. She DID say thank you.
This is a classic example of why you shouldn't send gifts that you don't want to send. If the niece is anything like me, she probably would have preferred you didn't send anything (I'm guessing from the tone of your posts that it wasn't THAT much) if she knew you were this upset about it.
This is one reason why, when my husband and I got married, we asked for no gifts. We did get $100 from my grandparents, who I thanked both with a formal card and an email (my grandma emails now! so cool. it's a great way to keep in touch with her, btw.) I know my family...everyone wants something at every occasion but doesn't want to give anything. I didn't want anything from anyone, so I made that clear. I'm a grown woman with my own income, though, and not a 17-year-old girl who has grown up with a broke single mom and who has probably missed out on a lot of things that her peers have had and/or been able to experience. (Been there, done that, too.)
Oh, and in my formal card and email, I told my grandmother, "Thank you for the card and the generous gift. We certainly weren't expecting it. Again, thank you so much. We love you."
I didn't say it was okay that the other niece sent a text thanking me for the card. I was merely stating that another niece did the exact same thing. They are 17 and 18, respectively. My husband works hard for our money and it would have been nice that the recipients of said money would have acknowledged it. Life goes on!
You are clearly one of those people looking to be offended.
I hope your niece had a wonderful time on her trip.
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