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Before I got married, we had the talk and I was very clear that I wanted more than 1 child. My husband agreed. He has selective memory. Two years after the 1st, when I brought up starting for a 2nd, he threw a fit about only wanting 1 child because "he didn't even want 1, he's not going to have 2..."
I, again, explained how we agreed to more than 1 child. I ended up getting pregnant while on the pill while we were still discussing the situation. My youngest is currently 5 1/2. Every time he does anything my husband doesn't like, he screams and shouts, "and this is why I didn't want a 2nd child!" My son knows he feels this way because he says it all the time. My son knows his dad doesn't like him and he can feel the resentment.
If you voluntarily bring a 2nd child into this world and truly don't want one, don't you dare ever tell that child you didn't want him/her. I am sick to my stomach whenever my husband says it, and it makes me lash out at him, and it makes me run to my son and hug him as hard as I can to tell him he is wanted and he can't listen to mean things like that. I shouldn't have to talk with a 5 year about how his dad talks, but it's sad to type out that I've been having the talk with him since he was an infant too young to understand the words his dad was saying.
Your husband is abusive and not a good person.
I'm sorry.
For you. But more for the kid.
Before I got married, we had the talk and I was very clear that I wanted more than 1 child. My husband agreed. He has selective memory. Two years after the 1st, when I brought up starting for a 2nd, he threw a fit about only wanting 1 child because "he didn't even want 1, he's not going to have 2..."
I, again, explained how we agreed to more than 1 child. I ended up getting pregnant while on the pill while we were still discussing the situation. My youngest is currently 5 1/2. Every time he does anything my husband doesn't like, he screams and shouts, "and this is why I didn't want a 2nd child!" My son knows he feels this way because he says it all the time. My son knows his dad doesn't like him and he can feel the resentment.
If you voluntarily bring a 2nd child into this world and truly don't want one, don't you dare ever tell that child you didn't want him/her. I am sick to my stomach whenever my husband says it, and it makes me lash out at him, and it makes me run to my son and hug him as hard as I can to tell him he is wanted and he can't listen to mean things like that. I shouldn't have to talk with a 5 year about how his dad talks, but it's sad to type out that I've been having the talk with him since he was an infant too young to understand the words his dad was saying.
This is so, so awful for your son. I am so sorry. He will never forget this, and it is very damaging.
My gosh... he's only five. FIVE!!!
This is almost worth leaving your husband over.
He needs to talk to a therapist... learn how to deal with his anger.... or leave.
Before I got married, we had the talk and I was very clear that I wanted more than 1 child. My husband agreed. He has selective memory. Two years after the 1st, when I brought up starting for a 2nd, he threw a fit about only wanting 1 child because "he didn't even want 1, he's not going to have 2..."
I, again, explained how we agreed to more than 1 child. I ended up getting pregnant while on the pill while we were still discussing the situation. My youngest is currently 5 1/2. Every time he does anything my husband doesn't like, he screams and shouts, "and this is why I didn't want a 2nd child!" My son knows he feels this way because he says it all the time. My son knows his dad doesn't like him and he can feel the resentment.
If you voluntarily bring a 2nd child into this world and truly don't want one, don't you dare ever tell that child you didn't want him/her. I am sick to my stomach whenever my husband says it, and it makes me lash out at him, and it makes me run to my son and hug him as hard as I can to tell him he is wanted and he can't listen to mean things like that. I shouldn't have to talk with a 5 year about how his dad talks, but it's sad to type out that I've been having the talk with him since he was an infant too young to understand the words his dad was saying.
Wow that is harsh! Dad seriously needs to check himself. At 5 years old the poor kid already knows his dad doesn't like him. Dude better never ask for a kidney or ask why the kid doesn't visit later in life. That's just so damn cold! It's really horrible.
My first is older than the second by little over 5 years. We did plan on more than one kid, but it took a long time to conceive. During that time, we had so many people (especially DH's family) tell us that the "longer (we) wait" the harder it'll be for the kids to bond. Really annoying to deal with. I'm not sure why my in-laws believe that 2-3 year is important for that "necessary" bonding when none of my nieces and nephews are really that close to their own sibling. My husband had that 2 year difference with his brother, and they're not close at all-- in fact, they have no relationship at all. Looking over to my family, I know my dad was closest to his oldest siblings who were 20 and 15 years older. My siblings and I had the 3 year increment, we get along fine but aren't really that close. There aren't really guarantee that the siblings will be close, but as parents, all you can do is foster good relations and hope.
As it is, my girls (including surprise child #3 who popped up soon after #2) do have a special bond, even with the age difference. I do hope it'll be for life.
It's a terrible thing to have to be an only child. There's so many social disadvantages to it and if you're the only one, you become the target of all your parents' disorders. Have at least three and train them to do the housework for you, beginning at any early age. Everyone comes out ahead, when you do that.
It's a terrible thing to have to be an only child. There's so many social disadvantages to it and if you're the only one, you become the target of all your parents' disorders. Have at least three and train them to do the housework for you, beginning at any early age. Everyone comes out ahead, when you do that.
Social disorders? Most children spend their baby and toddler years in day care.....then pre-k.
I won't touch the rest of your comments. They speak for themselves.
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