Would you want a live in Nanny?

[5FLgirls]

I found all the replies interesting because as others have said, until you've been in the OP's cousin's shoes...

When I had my second child, I started having someone come in twice a week for a total of 10 hours to help with cleaning, laundry and child care. She also babysat for us on the weekends and did the odd Saturday.

While pregnant with our fourth child, we moved and I asked her to come with us. She had worked for us for a total of 7 years in a few capacities. I was asking her to be our full-time housekeeper and occasional babysitter on weekends and when I ran errands or acted as chauffer for my older ones. She was the only babysitter my kids had ever known. She agreed and we all moved. It took some adjusting on all parts to the new situation. My kids loved having her around but it was awkward for her. All in all, I could see that she was depressed and missed home. She was off for five days every other week and she traveled the four hours back and forth to visit family and friends. The end of my story is that on a Friday morning (three weeks before I had my baby and while on bed rest), she told me she was leaving, went to her room, packed her things and left. She didn't say goodbye to my kids and they were devastated and she also owed us a lot of money from a loan. In the end -- it was for the best. After I had the baby, my husband and I hired part-time help (20 hours a week) to do the laundry and straighten up. Currently, we have a cleaning person once a week and a babysit who works about 15 hours a week and does the bulk of our laundry.

Having four children and managing quality time is a challenge. I don't have my babysitter so I can have a break (I wish!) I'm taking my two little ones separately to My Gym. I'm taking my four year old to jazz class and watching (versus being there and chasing my 1 & 2 yos around) and getting to watch the last ten minutes of my oldest's tennis lesson. I'm helping with Girl Scouts. Without the additional help, I wouldn't be able to do those little things that make my children happy. I'm still waiting to watch an entire gymnastics class for both of my older girls! The biggest laugh for me was the first time I picked my 4 yo up from school without her younger siblings and she said, "Thanks for picking me up and spending time with me without those other two, Mommy."

[carrot juice]

Yes, I'd want a live in Nanny and a Milk Nurse, if I were to have children. I would also, hopefully, hire someone to carry the fetus. They have young women in India who will do this for a good price.

[Bette]

This is what worked for me. Nannies did not work. Too young. I hired an older woman - she was 68 - I did not know - thought she was around 50 something - she was with us for 20 years. Our kids are now 23 and 19 but she passed away just 3 years ago. She was 88.

She did not live with us. She came as early as we needed her, knew her place, did laundry, cleaned the home so we could work. She left when we came home. If we came home at 8, she made sure the kids were fed.

We had lovely, enjoyable evenings b/c of her. So many good times.

We loved her and miss her!!

[Beretta]

We had a live in housekeeper when our 4 boys were all at home She would cook and clean for us 5.5 days a week. I did all of the Mommy work. I did have a neighbor kid as a Mothers Helper but I never had a nanny. When I had to have childcare I sent the kids to a preschool or I had a sitter come in. I loved having a live in as this freed me up to concentrate on being a Mom and my career.

[Topaz]

5FLgirls, that nanny earned some seriously bad karma for leaving your family the way she did. We had a regular babysitter once who was supposed to come over to our house for a goodbye party that my children were throwing for her before she moved to another state. She stood them up! I'll never forget my two children's faces pressed up against the glass of our front window while they eagerly awaited her arrival. She never came and never called. I heard through the grapevine that she decided to leave town early but she never bothered to tell us. To this day, it makes me angry just thinking about it! I had told her that we would pay her for her time to come to the goodbye party because I knew it was important to my children and she promised to be there - they were two and four at the time.

But on a different note, my son is just like 5FLgirls' 4 year old - it seems like the happiest times of his life are when he gets to do something with just his dad or me without his younger sister around.

[okaydorothy]

I was a nanny for years. And I have been a mum for 9 years. Two of the families that I worked for are still in touch with me and their children are all in college. I loved being a nanny, loved the children and the job. I lived in 5 days a week and at weekends I went home to my boyfriend ; now my dh. I got to travel with the family, got to see life in the other lane.

Would I have a nanny ; if I had 4 children, yes. But I have only two and I cannot justify someone else spending the time, teaching and comforting my children. I am lucky that i work from home and needed daycare for 3 years ; three days a week. It was our choice to have children and therefore we need to be responsible to have enough that we can handle.

But as I said , 4 ; yes, I would defiantely have a nanny.
dorothy