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I will attempt to respond in the order the questions/statements were made.
1) A 2 hour commute is exhausting regardless of the mode of transportation.
A two hour commute by train is not exhausting. Or at least I didn't find it that way. I would listen to music, read books, etc. It was great. My hubs had a one hour commute by car in bumper to bumper type traffic that I would have found unbearable but he would do books on tape and enjoyed it himself.
A long commute is a choice, and if it is such a burden that it becomes grounds for forcing the other partner to do all of the parenting and housework, than other choices should be considered.
You sound quite put upon. Perhaps you should switch roles and go out as the breadwinner, then come home and be responsible for everything going on in the house because your husband, who stayed home all day with the kids and had to cook two meals and clean up after them, can clock out.
I hate the term "breadwinner". It implies that the spouse, usually the man, who works outside the home does something of more value than the other spouse. Or that the value of the spouse is proportional to how much money the make. Both of which breed resentments.
Anyway, my family was lucky enough to be in a position that technically no either of us HAD to work but we both did anyway. We valued each other for other reasons, we divided household chores based upon ourselves rather than how much money we were bringing in. We have little resentment and don't keep score and offset those scores with "but I make more money" mentalities.
A two hour commute by train is not exhausting. Or at least I didn't find it that way. I would listen to music, read books, etc. It was great. My hubs had a one hour commute by car in bumper to bumper type traffic that I would have found unbearable but he would do books on tape and enjoyed it himself.
A long commute is a choice, and if it is such a burden that it becomes grounds for forcing the other partner to do all of the parenting and housework, than other choices should be considered.
The whole commute isn't by train.
In this case the SAHP wants the commuter to do the household chores and night feedings.
I hate the term "breadwinner". It implies that the spouse, usually the man, who works outside the home does something of more value than the other spouse. Or that the value of the spouse is proportional to how much money the make. Both of which breed resentments.
Anyway, my family was lucky enough to be in a position that technically no either of us HAD to work but we both did anyway. We valued each other for other reasons, we divided household chores based upon ourselves rather than how much money we were bringing in. We have little resentment and don't keep score and offset those scores with "but I make more money" mentalities.
To me it simply means the person who has the job that pays in money. In fact, I've said for years, that families with a parent who decides to stay home to raise children should get some kind of compensation or tax break. It might entice more men/women to be stay-at-home-parents, opening up a job for someone else to take, and giving another option to those who wish to stay home but currently cannot afford it.
The whole commute isn't by train.
In this case the SAHP wants the commuter to do the household chores and night feedings.
So what if the whole commute isn't by train? Almost everyone who takes the train has to drive to the station.
The notion that a long commute somehow trumps all else is bizarre. Everything should be up for negotiation between a couple. If he wants to negotiate feedings, than he should also be willing to negotiate the commute.
To me it simply means the person who has the job that pays in money. In fact, I've said for years, that families with a parent who decides to stay home to raise children should get some kind of compensation or tax break. It might entice more men/women to be stay-at-home-parents, opening up a job for someone else to take, and giving another option to those who wish to stay home but currently cannot afford it.
That is ridiculous. If people want to stay home with their kids great but why should they get a tax break that working parents do not?
To me it simply means the person who has the job that pays in money. In fact, I've said for years, that families with a parent who decides to stay home to raise children should get some kind of compensation or tax break. It might entice more men/women to be stay-at-home-parents, opening up a job for someone else to take, and giving another option to those who wish to stay home but currently cannot afford it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
That is ridiculous. If people want to stay home with their kids great but why should they get a tax break that working parents do not?
I don't think families should get tax breaks. I think individuals should be taxed no matter what their marital or parental status is.
However, I do wholeheartedly support stipends for parents so they can stay home with their children, if they so choose.
Don't ever lecture me again on my tone and/or perceived rudeness in my replies after this little gem.
You know damned well what I meant.
There is always some mompetitor in this forum saying that working moms don't raise their kids. You said the same thing of your husband as a working dad. I responded the same way I always do when it comes up.
That is ridiculous. If people want to stay home with their kids great but why should they get a tax break that working parents do not?
Do you not get a tax write off for money spent on childcare? Maybe stay at home parents should get a similar tax write off up until Kindergarten.
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There is always some mompetitor in this forum saying that working moms don't raise their kids. You said the same thing of your husband as a working dad. I responded the same way I always do when it comes up.
