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I have tried to be respectful when giving my opinion on this subject, having a child at 44 is a big NO for me for many reasons. Mostly because I've raised my kids already and have no desire to start over, also having a child at 44 would mean that I would have a teenager for the first few years of my retirement.
And that's an equally valid life choice. Nothing wrong with wanting to move on to the next phase of your life without encumbrances -- you have earned that right by sacrificing and working hard to raise and educate your family. But if a woman wants to -- hey, have at it. Maybe they spent their 20s and 30s in a demanding career, maybe they never found someone they wanted to have children with . . . whatever. It's not something I would want to do -- I adore my kids, who are in their late 20s now, but I have absolutely no desire to go back to 24/7/365 mothering, I have waaay too many other things I want to do, now!
Life expectancy for a woman born in 1930 was 67 years. In 1950, it had risen to 72 years. By the year 2000, it had risen all the way to 80. So many adults have grown up with the idea that 60's = "old". But if you had been born in 1900, the average life expectancy was only 49 for a woman. Modern medicine and healthier lifestyles have done much to enhance not only the length but the quality of our lives. I dabble in genealogy on the side -- I am always sad when I see a young woman who has died in childbirth after 5 or 6 pregnancies in 6 or 7 years. Was it "selfish" of her (or her husband, for that matter) to continue having children, knowing how perilous childbirth was and chancing leaving the babies motherless? (Not that the husbands stayed widowers very long -- they invariably married within a year or two). The average age for marriage for women (and, traditionally, children) between 1900 and 1970 hovered between 20 and 21 years of age. By 2010, it had risen to 26.1
Anyway, I don't think we can ascribe characteristics such as 'selfish' to a 44 year old woman choosing to have children. I'm pretty sure her kids won't think so, 20-30 years down the road.
Because maybe the older woman should have had her sh*t together to have a baby in her 30s. Clearly she didnt...but science allows her the option to play god through her 50s to reproduce.
Or maybe she HAD her **** together and spent 20 years in a highly demanding job -- a surgeon, a trial attorney, a partner at a CPA firm, the military, creating and running a business -- whatever. Most women I know who consider kids at 40+ worked 12-16 hours a day for 20 years at highly absorbing careers.
'Or maybe she HAD her **** together and spent 20 years in a highly demanding job -- a surgeon, a trial attorney, a partner at a CPA firm, the military, creating and running a business -- whatever. Most women I know who consider kids at 40+ worked 12-16 hours a day for 20 years at highly absorbing careers.'
First child, not selfish. Fifth child means unless it's the first child of a new husband, a bit selfish. Oops baby, no matter fifth or first, not selfish. Age is relative. There are many, many teen parents who are excellent parents as well as older parents. Bottom Line, I'll help parents out if they need help, regardless of my smug judgment.
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You had a child at 37. Is having a child at 37 really that much different then at 40? s:
It's actually not that different at all. And some people even think 37 is too old. People could judge her in the same way that she's judging other people.
Yes, women in their forties can and do have spontaneous pregnancies. And they are plenty energetic during their child's teen years. They are also a lot more knowledgeable than when in their twenties, with a better perspective on life. Interesting thread...though some of the comments are rather odd.
Yep, pretty much. Why not? :-) AND - she also doesn't die in childbirth, thanks to C-sections. She also has a good chance of surviving breast cancer, thanks to early detection. She can also choose not to have a child, by use of birth control.
Yep, pretty much. Why not? :-) AND - she also doesn't die in childbirth, thanks to C-sections. She also has a good chance of surviving breast cancer, thanks to early detection. She can also choose not to have a child, by use of birth control.
I do wonder if it is all of modern medicine that the poster is against, or is it just some odd fixation on IVF?
I had my kids at 35 and 37. Have not tried for a 3rd as im happy with the 2 i have. Ill be 39 in july.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
You realize women in their 40s can have children without IVF, right?
You had a child at 37. Is having a child at 37 really that much different then at 40? Or is it that you got your "sh*t together" just in time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22
It's actually not that different at all. And some people even think 37 is too old. People could judge her in the same way that she's judging other people.
Yeah, I'm not seeing the HUGE difference between having babies in your late 30s vs your 40s...? Its nearly the same thing. I'm really not understanding the "superiority" vibe about having ones s**t together...
I mean, since I had my babies in my 20s that means I really had my s**t together, right? Otherwise, why would you wait until "advanced maternal age" unless you just couldn't get your s**t together before then, right?
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