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They raised her and brought her into this world. She should be more appreciative.
This is one of the things that I really hate about my generation (yes, I'm a millennial that treats his parents well).
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDistinguishedGentleman
Quite frankly, you sound like an awful and selfish daughter. I would never treat my parents the way you apparently treat yours.
Since this thread is not about me, I will let your insult go. I don't care what you think of me, you apparently glossed over all the issues of how incredibly toxic & negative my parents are. Of course they think they were fantastic parents LOL. Since I'm not a millenial & I've been around awhile, I learned decades ago, not to waste my time & energy around negative, toxic, narcissistic people. I'm quite ok with that choice. Since you know nothing of my situation, your rudeness says a lot more about you, than it does about me!
As for the whole, "they brought her into this world", I've never understood that argument. Children do not ask to be born. They don't owe their parents anything. People have kids primarily for selfish reasons (not selfish in a negative way, but for reasons having to do with fulfillment of THEIR own selves). I firmly believe that kids don't owe their parents appreciation or respect, unless they've earned it. The fact that they gave birth &/or raised the kids is their responsibility when they chose to become parents, it is not a free pass to respect, admiration or appreciation.
I find it interesting that OP is glossing over the posts that have made no mention of the car, but have repeatedly asked about how he treats his daughter? What his attitude towards her is, etc. No parent is perfect, but if she really has no desire to spend even 10 minutes with you, it may well be that OP is coming off as judgemental, demanding, butting into her business, telling her how to behave or offering unsolicited advice. He may be having a hard time cutting those apron strings & since she is no longer a child, it may be quite irritating & frustrating to her. I know it was for me, when I was that age. OTOH, many have pointed out, it may be that absolutely nothing is wrong & she's just being a normal 20yo, who should not be regularly socializing with her parents & who has a life of her own.
It's interesting that the OP has shown no sense of self reflection or self analysis abt his behavior towards his daughter, at least that he's posted here. The fact that he is seemingly unwilling to reflect on his own behavior may have a lot to do with why she doesn't want to hang out with him any more than necessary.
So now i am the purveyor of lies and fake facts? ,where have i heard this line of rationale/drivel? oh yeah i remember.
Not that its relevant but to add to the inquisition Daughter Number two is enrolled in Canadas premier college for technology the British Columbia Institute of Technology and is in the final stages of earning a degree in computer engineering.
Your right, that isn't relevant. Did your oldest daughter not go to college? Is that part of what makes daughter #2 the perfect daughter, because she went to college?
Bottom line is your daughter knows the reason. We don't. Could be she is just a busy young person. Could be that she doesn't enjoy your company. Could be that you weren't the great parent you think you were. All we can do is guess. That doesn't help you.
Bottom line is your daughter knows the reason. We don't. Could be she is just a busy young person. Could be that she doesn't enjoy your company. Could be that you weren't the great parent you think you were. All we can do is guess. That doesn't help you.
Your right, that isn't relevant. Did your oldest daughter not go to college? Is that part of what makes daughter #2 the perfect daughter, because she went to college?
Daughter #1 went to college and got a masters degree in Environmental science, both kids have been given all financial help needed to fulfill their education.
Sunday you are starting to look for agendas that are trying to fit a falsely conceived narrative.
Just because i have some issues with daughter #1s social involvement with Mom and Dad doesnt make her any less perfect than daughter #2.
Bottom line is your daughter knows the reason. We don't. Could be she is just a busy young person. Could be that she doesn't enjoy your company. Could be that you weren't the great parent you think you were. All we can do is guess. That doesn't help you.
Thus the reason for the topic to get other opinions on my situation.
Daughter #1 went to college and got a masters degree in Environmental science, both kids have been given all financial help needed to fulfill their education.
Sunday you are starting to look for agendas that are trying to fit a falsely conceived narrative.
Just because i have some issues with daughter #1s social involvement with Mom and Dad doesnt make her any less perfect than daughter #2.
I'm not looking for an agenda or trying to create a false narrative. I was simply asking why your younger daughter being in college was being brought up in a discussion about your oldest daughter.
Calling daughter #2 "everything a parent could want" and saying daughter #1 is a "lesson in frustration", "spoiled rotten", a "selfish brat", and a "self absorbed jerk" doesn't sound like you think #1 is any less perfect than #2.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101
Daughter number 2 is everything a parent could want, she enjoys our company when in town ,texts every day to see how we are doing,emails pics,and call several times a week.
Daughter number one is a lesson in frustration to a parent as it points to a child that was given everything but ended up not liking her parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101
I asked my wife what she thinks of our daughters behavior her response maybe right on the money, the kid has been spoiled rotten all her life and has grown up to be a selfish little brat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101
Self absorbed jerk? you might have hit the nail on the head with that descriptor.
Your question was "where did I go wrong?" How in the hell would we know that?
Every time someone tries to answer that very question, you get defensive and say we're making stuff up. We're making stuff up because we can't possibly know the answer to your question.
Bottom line is your daughter knows the reason. We don't. Could be she is just a busy young person. Could be that she doesn't enjoy your company. Could be that you weren't the great parent you think you were. All we can do is guess. That doesn't help you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101
Thus the reason for the topic to get other opinions on my situation.
But, as Kibbiekat said "All we can do is guess." We on CD will never know the real reason, we can speculate for weeks and come up with wilder and wilder guesses (she's on drugs, her psychic/BF/cat/neighbor tells her to stay away, she has a serious health issue/is transgender/mentally ill/an alien but is afraid to tell you) but only your daughter knows the real reason.
BTW, yes, I do have children, ages 34 and 30.
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you might have hit the nail on the head with that descriptor.
