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I think people are tolerant if something is being done to quiet the baby. Everyone gets it - sometimes a baby has an ear infection and is in the waiting area of the pharmacy and is screaming full tilt and it's just a part of life. When a child is screaming - even joyfully - in a restaurant and the parents aren't obviously doing something to quiet the child, that's when it becomes obnoxious. AND, in public if you are able to witness a child falling and getting hurt, no amount of crying is unacceptable. We all get it.
But. I was in a grocery store awhile back and this mom with a couple kids and about a 4 month old baby was shopping and then checking out. The baby was in full, redface, sweating crying. The whole time. So okay, sometimes errands run long and the baby is very hungry and the mom just has to get this done. Ok. So then after she checked out she pulled her cart off to the side, sat down on a bench and pulled a prepared bottle out of the diaper bag and fed the baby. I couldn't believe it. The checker even said, aghast, you had that bottle with you the whole time?????
Unbelievable.
And obviously you know that it was that simple. For all you know that baby was on a strictly timed diet. Maybe the baby needed medicine. Better yet, just mind your own business.
This is an old story and was covered in another thread more than a year ago. Back then, most posters sided with the couple and against the mother. (I did not because the Texas Roadhouse is noisy, anyway, and why should children be expected to be any quieter than adults?)
I think people are tolerant if something is being done to quiet the baby. Everyone gets it - sometimes a baby has an ear infection and is in the waiting area of the pharmacy and is screaming full tilt and it's just a part of life. When a child is screaming - even joyfully - in a restaurant and the parents aren't obviously doing something to quiet the child, that's when it becomes obnoxious. AND, in public if you are able to witness a child falling and getting hurt, no amount of crying is unacceptable. We all get it.
Yes, agreed, the parents have to try and calm the baby. They have to show an effort.
But sometimes babies cry. Sometimes you can't "take them outside". I don't even know what that means in the context of NYC, where restaurants generally don't have waiting areas, and open right into the street. You want me to go in the snow or rain or noisy street and think that will calm down my kid? Won't that just annoy other people?
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC
But. I was in a grocery store awhile back and this mom with a couple kids and about a 4 month old baby was shopping and then checking out. The baby was in full, redface, sweating crying. The whole time. So okay, sometimes errands run long and the baby is very hungry and the mom just has to get this done. Ok. So then after she checked out she pulled her cart off to the side, sat down on a bench and pulled a prepared bottle out of the diaper bag and fed the baby. I couldn't believe it. The checker even said, aghast, you had that bottle with you the whole time?????
Unbelievable.
I wouldn't have done that, but if you have three kids, one is crying, you're racing to finish the grocery list, yeah, I could see waiting to finish before the bottle. Moms are crazy overwhelmed.
First of all, 10 months old is too young to be teaching him to use his indoor voice. He's not even aware of himself or what he's doing. You just have to calm him down and keep him quiet so he won't disturb other people.
It's true that the baby was disturbing other people, but the table behind them was wrong to judge the mother. Yes, they can be annoyed, but did they have to tell her? No one wants to be judged like that. Keep it to yourself.
And I absolutely hate self-righteous women like them who claim that their children/grandchildren NEVER acted this way. Get off your high horse. People with no compassion and no heart suck. Having an infant is tough and very stressful.
there is no reason to be nasty....
it depends on the parent....
children develop patterns and their personalities from their parents....
When I was pregnant, I read many parenting books as most mothers probably do. One struck me, that said, "if you don't have your child under control by the time he/she is five years old, there is a good chance you never will....so I set out to read a whole lot more books on developing behaviors for babies, and toddlers. they develop eating behaviors, and mimic their parents, they learn to actually control the parents into getting their way. Some kids of course are more stubborn than others, some kids are very well behaved, but a lot of it has to do with the parents, from the very beginning.
My son, learned at a very young age, as most babies do, that if he cried he was held, so, he cried until he was held. Until we stopped it.
This is an old story and was covered in another thread more than a year ago. Back then, most posters sided with the couple and against the mother. (I did not because the Texas Roadhouse is noisy, anyway, and why should children be expected to be any quieter than adults?)
why? Because when a child screams over and over and over again, all throughout the time it is there, it makes it mighty uncomfortable for those who are sitting around that child.
We're not talking about a scream or two....we're talking about screaming consistently.
Like I said, it happened to us...and we left...it made our evening an unhappy one....matter of fact we all contacted the restaurant and told them we wouldn't be back. So that night, they lost 6 customers. When you not only pay for a meal, but plan it months in advance and look forward to getting together with people you haven't seen in a very long time, and then have to put up with something like this, and I mean, we were forced to put up with it, as we already ordered our meal, when the child's parents came in and the kid started screaming, and it was constant, and they didn't give one concern about how it was effecting everyone else.
I think we all have to consider how our behaviors effect others when out in public and work together on it, by trying to be considerate and aware that when in public, it isn't just about you and your children, but about everyone around you, and quite frankly, not everyone can put up with a child screaming. It's up to the parent to control that...to be aware of others....and not spoil their evenings.
This is simply not fair to parents. Society has to accept the baby, not the other way around, IMO. Babies cry, and society has to deal.
My wife and I each have stressful professional jobs. We have a ten-month old. We live in a small apartment, with limited kitchen. We live in NYC, which has like a billion good restaurants.
You're saying we have no right to go to a restaurant for many years if our kid is fussy? No, just no. We take our baby to restaurants 2-3 times a week. Of course we take him to baby-friendly restaurants only; loud, messy places, mostly. But we will not stop going out, no way.
No, I'm sorry but I shouldn't have to accept anyone's child disturbing an evening that I was looking foreward to.
When my grand daughter was that age, my son, would take her outside, and walk her around a bit, and if that didn't work, they'd ask for their meals packed up, the check and they would leave. There is on way they wanted to disturb dinners for anyone else.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NOLA101
This is simply not fair to parents. Society has to accept the baby, not the other way around, IMO. Babies cry, and society has to deal.
My wife and I each have stressful professional jobs. We have a ten-month old. We live in a small apartment, with limited kitchen. We live in NYC, which has like a billion good restaurants.
You're saying we have no right to go to a restaurant for many years if our kid is fussy? No, just no. We take our baby to restaurants 2-3 times a week. Of course we take him to baby-friendly restaurants only; loud, messy places, mostly. But we will not stop going out, no way.
So what do you do if the baby is fussy? Are you comforting it, interacting with it, trying to entertain it? Because usually, a 10 month old can be entertained fairly easily. And yes, a little fussiness is acceptable and expected.
It's when parents turn and completely ignore a screaming baby, or a baby that is bapping the table hard with a metal spoon for minutes on end that it becomes irritating.
And honestly, of the times I've been irritated in a restaurant it's not usually because of a baby. It's because of an adult talking in a continuous loud voice, or the wait staff slamming plates around in the kitchen or vacuuming.
I find our Texas Roadhouse is always noisy, Birthday singing waiters/waitresses, loud talking diners, in general hustle and bustle.....it is that kind of atmosphere.
Sure, a screaming baby is irritating especially when you've gotten past that stage in your life....But you don't behave in such an unkind way like these women did. I think the ladies who were C.S. enough to hand this young mom a note were hateful and mean.
Obviously they finished their meal, during which they didn't ask to be moved, they didn't turn around and "go grandma" and coo and distract the baby. These women did nothing to remedy their own angst. So for them to wait until they finished eating, then in a childish way hand a passive aggressive note to an already harried new Mom was B.S. and low class.
Be glad when you see a baby who is confident enough to test their new voice, make noise, play and laugh. It is the babies that are afraid to make a sound that I would worry about.
No, I'm sorry but I shouldn't have to accept anyone's child disturbing an evening that I was looking foreward to.
When my grand daughter was that age, my son, would take her outside, and walk her around a bit, and if that didn't work, they'd ask for their meals packed up, the check and they would leave. There is on way they wanted to disturb dinners for anyone else.
If you go to family-friendly restaurant, you should expect families. Babies should be expected. The onus is on the annoyed person who expects privacy and quiet in a public and loud place.
If you REALLY want to ensure no screaming babies, there are tons of restaurants I can recommend. Most nicer restaurants here in NYC will have no babies. Basically any restaurant after 8 PM won't have babies.
But if you're going to a Texas Roadhouse at, say 5 or 6 PM, you better expect babies, and yeah, there may be some crying.
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