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I would tell my children those people must not have any soap at home when they were young or their parents would have washed out their mouths with soap and gotten rid of their dirty mouths. In other words, they were not brought up right so it is better to stay away from them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FatDave
Whether it's to tell kids our adults, I always think that people who use a lot of profanities just have a limited vocabulary and are unable to describe their feelings in a more intelligent way.
You'd both be wrong, then, since studies have shown the opposite - that people who "curse" a lot actually have HIGHER IQs and educations in general, and that it has nothing to do with being "raised right." I come from a highly educated family, with both of my parents having advanced degrees from top schools, and we curse like sailors. Maybe because we understand words are just words, and it's the MEANING behind them that matters? Also, the "f word" just has so many colorful uses. LOL
In case you doubt me, here are just a FEW of many articles on what I mentioned:
They are just words that arbitrarily became "bad". They are just letters that form sounds that have meaning.
Don't like certain words? Then just clearly explain to you children why you think "x" word is bad, but "y" isn't, when the meaning is the same.
Now, using ANY word to defame or insult another person or group of people is always wrong. It's not the specific words being used, it is the intent that is mean and derogatory.
Exactly. Now, I'm not saying I would encourage a child to use "profanity," but I also wouldn't get my knickers in a twist over it. As I said above, my parents (mother in particular) swore plenty around us, and somehow we all managed to turn out just fine. I've never understood the whole concept of "curse words," anyway, since (like you said) it's just random letters in a random order - and who determined which random letter order was bad vs good, especially when they have similar meanings? I can't write examples on the boards without getting in trouble, but it makes no sense when one euphemism for "butt" is allowed on TV while another is not. Watch George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" routine, and maybe you'll see what I mean.
This is pretty much the same rule that I grew up with. My step-father was fond of swearing when the situation called for it, but he was also a bit old-fashioned (he was a country boy who was born right after the Great Depression). "Shop talk," as he called it, was to be used around other men.
Side note: When my youngest was about 4, I wasn't all that great at watching my language. And, like most, I have certain pet phrases that I use when things go wrong. When I'm working on something that is giving me trouble, I have a tendency to use the phrase "bleeding wh@#e" - a lot. My daughter was putting together some legos one day, and they weren't going together correctly. Imagine my wife's surprise when her 4-year-old popped out with my favorite phrase.... Needless to say, we both got a "talking to" over that one - and I started watching my language a little bit better around the kids until they got somewhat older.
That's so funny
When I would slip up around my daughter a couple of times when she was a bit older, I would tell her that it was "shop talk" or that I had a case of "shop mouth", lol.
Cute story about your slip with your then 4-year-old. They certainly do pick up *anything* that they hear and repeat it whether you want them to or not. When I am angry I use 'son of a b*^ch'. I only let it slip once around my kid when she was 2 and used it when I was working on the car and a screwdriver slipped and I cut open my hand with it. She repeated it later that day when she spilled a cup of water...
1. No cursing AT someone, especially in anger. Yelling "****" when stubbing your toe is fine.
2. Intent tells you far more about someone than their vocabulary choices. Talking badly about people or calling names is far more indicative of a negative person than whether they say "she can't keep her legs shut..." vs "she is a *****". Only the latter may be cursing, but the former is no better in my book.
3. Know why you are cursing. Sometimes the f word best describes something, sometimes it is due to laziness. Have precision when you speak, even if it is cursing.
4. Don't curse in front of older people you don't know or children when in public. Some people are uptight about it.
This was pretty much how we raised our kids. Knowing what and why something is appropriate, and understanding language - profane or not- was what we taught.
I do not ascribe to the idea that all cursing is a sign of a poor vocabulary. Some extremely erudite people (adults) pepper their speech with "bad words". Others do not.
To me the context can be vulgar - or appropriate.
A 13 year old saying "s**t" after she drops a bowl of cereal is very different from a seven year old asking "where the eff is my jacket?" Or "where's the effing phone?"
One is in a moment of frustration. The other, a bad habit.
I must admit though, that I do NOT find anything "cute" about young children who use profanity on a regular basis. Not out of shock or surprise.
We knew a couple who had an absolutely adorable three year old daughter who "swore like a sailor", as my grandparents might have said.
They found it to be cute. We thought it was vulgar and inappropriate, and saw nothing "cute" about it.
First point, hunt down George Carlin's "7 words you can't say on television."
Then figure out how to answer the question my son asked me in Delaware at the beach one day, "Daddy, why are those men holding hands and kissing?"
The world has changed. A lot.
Well the simple answer to your son's question would be: Because they love each other. Is that SO hard for you to say or think about that two men might be in love? If he asks more, explain to him that two men or two women can fall in love as easily as a man and a woman can.
Get USED to the world that has changed for the better and people don't have to hide their love in fear any more.
Profanities? I always told my kids that it's something some people do in public but our family doesn't. Easy peasy.
The one thing that ticked me off more than language was taking my kids to a public park and seeing a guy relieving himself against a tree. There was a bathroom a few feet from where he watered the greenery.
I was just plain livid because only a few days earlier I had found my little boy beside the garage doing the same and told him it was something we didn't do. Didn't need a full grown man setting a bad example.
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