If you don't like words in-laws are saying to your child, do you say something? (childcare, daughter)
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Seems very controlling and an unnecessary battle to take up. What makes our loved ones special and endearing is their uniqueness and making a fuss over this may well deprive your child to being exposed to the richness of language and start to poison a relationship with grandparents by dictating what words they are not allowed to use.
My nana used to call the wc a netty, my granny who was ever so proper called it the toilet. I grew up knowing when to use both and with who and when. Children are not daft. If your children know you don’t use a certain word they will learn to state it the way they are taught at home. When at their grandparents what is wrong with them using other terms?
From the point of raising a child, I might explain to both the child and the relatives that in preparation for adult life, we avoid the oversharing of information.
The difference is the "going to the bathroom" is saying where you are going. Nobody needs to know why you are going there. Maybe you're going to blow your nose in private, maybe pull off some ticks you got from outdoors. In the grownup world, people do not need and surely don't want to know what you are going to do in there.
The other statement, variations of I'm going to do to caca", or poop, etc, is saying what you're going to do and falls into the category of oversharing, and it also lacks a key item of information.
Are you going to do that in the bathroom, or in the hallway, or in someone's shoes? So you would providing information that I don't want to know and not telling me what I might need to know.
If the child is of the age that they need help in there, the adults who are going to help should know that already without demanding details.
We used Russian terms, but they are peesit and kaka (which don't sound nice to Americans). And that doesn't work when they get to school so we switched to "go to the toilet". Its very clear and non-offensive. Now if only we can settle on the correct term for bottom/butt/bum.
Does anyone else hate certain words for "going to the bathroom"? Mine would be cocky, if I'm even spelling it right. My grandmother, God bless her soul, always used to go on about it was such a nasty word and kids should learn how to say bathroom or number 2. I also find it a nasty word too, and I think my oldest once said it, when she was much smaller, (must have picked it up from another preschooler) and I immediately corrected her and told her which words we use in our home and to other adults for the bathroom.
My youngest is going to be 5, so I know she's 100% capable of saying bathroom, which she does. She comes out of nowhere while we are eating dinner and says "Mommy, when gma takes me to the bathroom, she is always using the word cocky and I tell her to stop saying it and we don't say that." Now, I'm not a huge fan of MIL to begin with and while unfortunately we are stuck using her for minimal child care for the time being, I would prefer she use the grown up words, I mean my kid isn't an infant, to my DD or words that well, we allow our kids to say.
I mentioned it to DH and he said he would tell her to stop using that word. Again, don't want to make a huge thing here, but also feel like well, I don't want her picking up a word that she isn't allowed to use. Thoughts?
Tell your daughter you don't like that word either. She won't use it, she was the one complaining if I read your post correctly. Just tell her sometimes Grandma's say the wrong word, but we know the right word....and wink. At 5 kids love to think they have something over on an adult......it will be fine.
And, thank your lucky stars if this is all you have to be concerned about while you are getting free child care.
Does anyone else hate certain words for "going to the bathroom"? Mine would be cocky, if I'm even spelling it right. My grandmother, God bless her soul, always used to go on about it was such a nasty word and kids should learn how to say bathroom or number 2. I also find it a nasty word too, and I think my oldest once said it, when she was much smaller, (must have picked it up from another preschooler) and I immediately corrected her and told her which words we use in our home and to other adults for the bathroom.
My youngest is going to be 5, so I know she's 100% capable of saying bathroom, which she does. She comes out of nowhere while we are eating dinner and says "Mommy, when gma takes me to the bathroom, she is always using the word cocky and I tell her to stop saying it and we don't say that." Now, I'm not a huge fan of MIL to begin with and while unfortunately we are stuck using her for minimal child care for the time being, I would prefer she use the grown up words, I mean my kid isn't an infant, to my DD or words that well, we allow our kids to say.
I mentioned it to DH and he said he would tell her to stop using that word. Again, don't want to make a huge thing here, but also feel like well, I don't want her picking up a word that she isn't allowed to use. Thoughts?
Do you mean the word caca? It's Spanish for poop, excrement, etc.
Good luck dictating to MIL what to say, while she watches your kid.
I'm sorry, but I think it would make me laugh out loud if a child stated that they need to urinate or defecate. I don't even know any adults who use those "proper" terms. Proper terminology or not, I think my mouth would fall open if I heard an adult or a child say them. It would be like someone calling their breasts mammary glands or teats. Yes, that's what they are but WHO uses that kind of terminology?
I know most hospitals (nurses) use the term BM for bowel movement which is also proper... not sure about urination.
In our house and everyone else I know, we say Pee and Poo.
These are not "dirty" words, they are to the point and simple, short words for children to learn.
Makes me laugh when I think of the many times I've asked my patients, "did you have a bowel movement today" and get a blank look back! " Did you poop today" always gets a response. Same with urinate. Pee always get a response. I'd bet the majority of people have no idea what defecate means
I guess if you're fluent in spanish, you'd use that term.
Haha I'm only fluent in street vulgarities. ;D And we don't say caca in polite company.
I used to daily babysit for a neighbor friend, way back in the day. The family was Hispanic. The older child was bilingual, but the younger one pretty much only spoke Spanish. When they had to go to the bathroom, they'd say they had to go caca.
Does anyone else hate certain words for "going to the bathroom"? Mine would be cocky, if I'm even spelling it right. My grandmother, God bless her soul, always used to go on about it was such a nasty word and kids should learn how to say bathroom or number 2. I also find it a nasty word too, and I think my oldest once said it, when she was much smaller, (must have picked it up from another preschooler) and I immediately corrected her and told her which words we use in our home and to other adults for the bathroom.
My youngest is going to be 5, so I know she's 100% capable of saying bathroom, which she does. She comes out of nowhere while we are eating dinner and says "Mommy, when gma takes me to the bathroom, she is always using the word cocky and I tell her to stop saying it and we don't say that." Now, I'm not a huge fan of MIL to begin with and while unfortunately we are stuck using her for minimal child care for the time being, I would prefer she use the grown up words, I mean my kid isn't an infant, to my DD or words that well, we allow our kids to say.
I mentioned it to DH and he said he would tell her to stop using that word. Again, don't want to make a huge thing here, but also feel like well, I don't want her picking up a word that she isn't allowed to use. Thoughts?
Why is the grandmother going to the bathroom with her?
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