3.5 Year Old Daughter throws cataclysmic tantrums before bed

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by carrcollie

I would not call it a tantrum.

I think she needs help from a psychologist.

I dont think what we are experiencing is that severe by a long shot, yet...

Happy to report that for the last couple days she has been pretty good. No pre-bedtime tantrums, no angry deflections, etc.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by 415_s2k

Happy to report that for the last couple days she has been pretty good. No pre-bedtime tantrums, no angry deflections, etc.

That is good news.

When it happens again, consistency in your response is the key.

[JrzDefector]

3.5 is a TERRIBLE age. People always talk about the twos, but I've been hearing from friends who are parents that the threes are actually the worst.

When she tantrums, start taking away privileges and toys. She earns them back.

And stop the playdates with bratty kids or only host them in YOUR house. When she sees the other child's kids responding to that behavior, it creates a model for her.

REWARD and PRAISE good behavior. When she is a brat the first half of the day, praise her for turning it around in the latter half of the day.

But no emotional reaction to her as she's tantruming is a good idea. It just feeds her reaction.

My cousin and his wife did an excellent job with their boys. They would start to get cranky, and they'd get a time out. Time outs were not punishment, just an opportunity to compose themselves. The parents took this very seriously, and if the timeout didn't work, they'd just take the kids home. The kids got so trained to this behavior they would ask for time outs when becoming distressed.

[carrcollie]

Here is my perspective and I have children, btw, unlike some people posting here.

Tantrums can either be an emotional issue the child will outgrow OR could be a sign of something desperately wrong in the child's life. Either way I would consult a child psychologist or at least do an online consultation. Lots of doctors are doing online appointments right now. Try Plush care or one of the other medical appointment sites.