How Do You Break Up With Your Kids' Friend's Parents? (activities, play)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My child has a wonderful best friend, but this child's mother drops by and wants to hang out when our children play together and I don't really care for her much. She complains all the time and sucks my energy dry. She also invites herself to dinner. How do I deal with her? Thank you.
See to it that when she invites herself over next time, you're in the middle of a messy work project, i.e., painting, cleaning, etc. Hand her a brush or mop and tell her, "Thanks, I could use the help!" See how long she sticks around.
We had a girlfriend of hubby's oldest son who would constantly complain too. I would offer solutions to her problems, and she didn't want to hear it. She reveled in her misery, and expected everyone else to do the same.
Lordy usually when we had play dates the moms couldn't WAIT to drop the kid off and be on their own for kid-less time!
Whereas playgroup (which was moms and kids together) couldn't really ever make it work, if there was a mom i couldn't stand for whatever reason i just didn't go there. But if the kid liked my kid, i'd try to plan things that were kid only, not mom, and make that clear.
If she's inviting herself to dinner and you don't want her....get good at saying "No." It gets easier and is WORTH IT for your peace of mind and energy level.
I had the reverse problem, had a great friend, and i could not stand her kid. I felt horrible because i love kids, all kids. This kid i could not stand, and he was only like 4 years old. My kids couldn't stand him either (and they pretty much played with anyone). When finally my then-husband met him and HE couldn't stand the kid, i just accepted it, and we stopped hanging out together.
See to it that when she invites herself over next time, you're in the middle of a messy work project, i.e., painting, cleaning, etc. Hand her a brush or mop and tell her, "Thanks, I could use the help!" See how long she sticks around.
LOL, if she sticks around to help, rethink your feelings - she could be valuable.
I'm ashamed to admit this but when I'm in this type of situation, I get real busy with activities and so on and can't find the time for a play date with them anymore. I know it's tough on my kids but I just don't want toxicity around us. If you don't want your child to lose the friendship, you might just tell her that she can stay to talk but you lots to do (such as the messy project, laundry, etc.) and you can hope she gets the message that the play date is exclusive to the kids, not the moms.
i tend to be very straight forward--some may say i have no tact. but i spent most of my life trying to make everyone else happy while i was growing ulcers in my stomach.
so i would say:
i know the kids are great freinds, and i hope they always will be. as for you and i...we dont really need to be that close, just because they are...
Usually when I arranged a playdate I'd be sure to use the words, "OK, so when can I drop off so-and-so?" Or in reverse, "you can drop off your daughter at 2:00 and I'll call when they get tired of each other". If mom suggests staying, say, oh no, don't bother I've got work to do, and she should make the most of her kid-free time.
Then when they come, remind her of your conversation - oh great, why don't you pick her up at 5:00?! Or I'll call if they wrap up sooner. See ya!
I have mom friends who like me (well, I think they do...) but some days they don't want me over in their messy house or whatever so I take the clue. Other moms really like to have the adult-visit time, so its important when you set up the date to be clear about whether you're all coming over or just one kids or whatever.
Tie a note that says you will burn down their house to a brick, drive past her house and chuck it trough the window. She'll get the message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
