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There wasn't a need for this type of law 20 years ago. There IS a need for it now! Also, most teens didn't have their own car OR the freedom they do now. I know I didn't! My parents had rules when I took the car, and I followed them. My licence was good until 11pm (by law). My curfew was 10pm, and believe me, I was home or I wouldn't be driving for months!!
In my group of friends, if one of us knew that this had happened, we all would have gotten a phone call. If my child was one of the other kids in that car, I hope someone would tell me. IMO.
What these parents AND kids did was wrong. They broke the law, and the parents were irresponsible with the lives of other peoples children when they allowed their kid to do it!! I'd be so p*ssed off!
But so often they aren't. Our generation of parents (I'm one!) seems to be much less interested in doing the right thing and more concerned about approval from their children. When my kids were teenagers, I was often amazed at the immaturity of some of their friends' parents. You really have to be on top of your kids....it's just not the way it was a generation ago, when we could count on other parents having the same values that we do.
Good for you, Kelly! In my opinion, you were completely in the right. The other parents *knew* their son had a restricted license, both in time of day AND in number of occupants and STILL allowed him to transport? I would be livid!
It's the parents who should be embarrassed!
Does your son have a license? Is his friend about the same age? Does your son know when the friend got his license? If your son has his own license, I assume is aware of license restrictions on young drivers. Did he question his friend about driving after 9 and with so many people? If not, this is a learning experience for him, too.
Thank goodness the only bad consequence to this little adventure is a kid embarrassed. It could have been so much worse.
I agree about putting some of the responsiblitity on my son also because you are exactly right. Kids here progress into their "after 9' six months after they get their limited so he may not have known but he should be asking about those things.
When my 18 year old was 16 he was not allowed to ride with anyone who was in that first 6 months and not allowed to transport friends at all til after 6 months. Then only with 1 kid for the first year if they had no tickets or "at fault" accidents. I have past that stage with my 18 year old
and temporarially forgot our standard but still assumed this kid had
full license.
We have had about 10 teens killed this year in our community and
most were speeding.
Another thing she said was that I will start "bending" the rules when
mine gets his license. I then told her I had an 18 year old and actually our rules were much tougher than the state laws and if they break the
law driving I will know that I did everything in my power to teach them
to respect it.
One lesson I learned is when you have intuition telling you a parent may not have your same values to trust it. A week ago my son was over
at this house and came home talking about how "cool" his parents
are . Huge red flag LOL
"You want an apology? Alright.. I'm very sorry that you were not raised correctly by your parents to follow even laws you do not agree with. This has in turned caused you to be an irresponsible parent and not teach your own child to respect the laws. I feel so sorry for you and your family."
Or something to that effect.
Then I would attempt a conversation with my own child about respecting laws - and that instead of breaking the inconvenient ones, there are better ways to deal with it. Speak to your child about being politically active so that the laws can be changed for the betterment of society.
I really appreciate the feedback from everyone .
I am a strict parent who is trying hard to raise
boys who are respectful, responsible, thoughtful
ect. I have done alot of it as a single parent
but they have a wonderful step-dad now
that helps .
They hate it at times but at 16 and 18 they are
great kids who are involved in their church and
other than getting sassy occasionally have not
been in any trouble.
My 18 year old graduates today and I am so proud
of him.
Be tough....They will love you for it later.
My pastor said true love when parenting is not allowing them to do things you know are not good for them even if it is the harder thing to do.
I tell them alot "I love you too much to let you act that way, or do this
and that."
Teenagers can barely drive and chew gum at the same time, let alone drive with 5 kids in the car. How many times have we read about a whole car full of kids being killed because a teenager was behind the wheel? There's a reason why they have restrictions on when they can drive and how many occupants they can have - it's not because they are bad kids... it's because they are inexperienced drivers of a 4500 lb +/- vehicle. Parents who allow their teenagers to ignore driving restriction are irresponsible at best.
It's the kids who are now driving their parents old massive SUV's and Suburban's who really freak me out. And not only are they bad at maneuvering their giant gas guzzler but they are trying to text and drive and listen to their iPods and talk with their friends in the car, too!! Not to mention the navigation systems and TV's and gadgets they have... too many distractions at an age when they generally aren't thinking straight due to crazy hormones, anyway.
My pastor said true love when parenting is not allowing them to do things you know are not good for them even if it is the harder thing to do.
I tell them alot "I love you too much to let you act that way, or do this
and that."
You sound like a wonderful mother!! Thanks for sharing that - good advice!!
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