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Oh, of course because all children should not learn responsibilty, it's not like we are working on making them good little citizens when they grow up. Unlike your child, I don't want my kid to be an irresponsible adult who has no idea how to take responsibility of their own actions.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
Are you seriously saying it was my fault because her school is on a busy street and so by having her school on a busy street at rush hour I am being irresponsible? So Should I lock her at home so she is never near a busy street? .
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Nor did I mention locking her up. Those are your words, and they are foolish. I said that you were lucky you were able to catch your daughter before she was struck by a car. I also said that it is your responsibility to protect her. Who would you blame if you were unable to catch her in time, and the unthinkable happened?
Also, you don't know my children, you have no knowledge what ever of their level of responsibility. That being the case, don't you think it's foolish to assume they have "no idea how to take responsibiity"? There is a term for reaching a conclusion with no information.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
You make no sense. I am not saying it was her fault at all, what I am saying is that I wanted to her understand we do NOT run into ANY street EVER. What she did was dangerous and children should be taught to be careful and avoid danger.
I make a great deal of sense, you will understand if you will open your mind to reason. What your daughter did was careless, and she does need to learn the dangers of traffic. I'm confident that she could learn without pain and humiliation.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
In your misguided brain I guess I should always be holding on to her hand so tight I might break it on the off chance she decided at that moment to break away and run off. We always hold hands. Period.
I'm not completely sure what you're trying to say here, but yes, there are times when you have to hold a little one's hand tightly. Next to a busy road during rush hour would qualify as one of those times.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
As a parent, It is my responsibilty to make sure she is safe and it is MY responsibility that she is safe even when she is NOT WITH ME, which means teaching her that we DO NOT RUN INTO THE STREET, ever.
Here we agree completely! Now, the difficult task is to teach without hitting her. Millions of parents are able to do this. Can you?
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
These are very simple rules but some children have impulse control problems and some kids, like mine, have a no fear complex.
I'm not familiar with the "no fear complex", but I'm sure that any "complex" is a learned condition. I always imposed rules on my kids. Rules are good, and children need boundries.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
You know, they walk off with strangers if given the chance, they are OVERLY friendly to adults and children. They have no fears. They are too brave for their own good.
They will not walk off with strangers if they are taught not to, and most importantly, if they are taught to question authority. Child abusers always look for the most obedient kid in the play ground.
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Originally Posted by Taboo2
When it comes to dangerous situations. I would rather over correct than under correct her behavior.
Absolutely. I could not agree more. I just do't see the need to hit children.
Absolutely. I could not agree more. I just do't see the need to hit children.
Considering I have worked with kids my entire life, I am not that interested in your amateur opinon.
But considering you were compelled by the gods to offer your unwanted and armchair advice, here is mine for you.
You don't see the need to hit YOUR kid when they are in a dangerous situation to prevent an even more dangerous situation from occuring and yipfukenee for you. THis doesn't apply to all children. Being a parent is subjective, not OBJECTIVE. Your kid and mine are not the same person and they need to be handled as individuals. My one kid and my other kid are not even the same type of chlld. know what works with my children, how could you when you never met them?
You are correct, I am an amateur. I have raised my own children, worked with many children in a variety of youth activities, and I have completed various college courses dealing with child development. I do not hold any degrees at the undergraduate or graduate level that are specific to child development. That said, I am not a "professional" in the area of child development, nor do I profess to be.
I do not believe there is ever a "need" to hit a child. The decision to hit or not to hit is made by the parent, not the child. I do agree that each child is different.
The tools that I have chosen to employ to raise my children are patience, communication, understanding, and empathy. It would have been easier to hit them at times. Hitting would have yielded the immediate desired response. I just always figured my kids were worth the extra effort.
Hitting would have yielded the immediate desired response.
How would you know this if you never even one smacked them on the rump? Maybe for your child it wouldn't. We talk about things but every once in awhile you have to follow through with a little something more.
I don't make it a habit of hitting my children, I can think of 2 times in the one's life that i had to do it. The other one never needed it so it never occured.
I think it is best to take each child on a case by case basis. Just like I do with adults. Each one has certain things that work for them. I have enough insight and experience to know what I am doing, but thanks for being so concerned about my children.
Now why don't you direct some of that attention towards children in your own area who are sufferring from neglect and abuse.
I have two sons and I spanked both mine and they are very well adjusted grown people and hold good jobs and have never been in jail . They also have their own homes and paid off . I think spanking is justified in certain circumstances . I think this was one of them considering what could have happened .
The sad thing here seems to be that any spanking is titled abuse.
The effect then is that social service attention is diverted from real cases of real serious abuse and parents are fearful and disempowered and so do not discipline their kids.
Who then grow up out of control ...
and in a few years social services really are required to help deal with a disfunctional family.
ah now I get it. It's just social workers ensuring ongoing need.
i was spanked as a kid and i can honestly say that i deserved every single lick i ever got. did i like them? no. did they hurt? heck yes. did i wish at the time that parents wouldnt ever spank their kids but just talk to them? yes. Did i grow up and realize what a crock of #@$! that was? Yessiree Bob i sure as heck did.
To all the people who think hitting their children is fine I have one question. How do you teach your children that it ISN'T okay for the people who love them to hit them?
My sister, brothers and I were spanked as youngin's. We all grew up to be productive members of society with good jobs and functional home lives.
My father's current step children were never spanked, mother didn't believe in it. The 2 oldest had felon records and school drop outs before they were 18 and continued their jail careers continued into adulthood. The youngest was (still is) an out of control princess that has a record of being physically violent when she doesn't get her way. All are / were addicted to drugs. I say "were" because the 2nd oldest passed from a drug overdose 2 yrs ago. All have children, the are either on the verge of being wards of the state, or have already been taken away. And the 2 remaining live off the gov't, but under 30 and perfectly able to work.
There is a difference between discipline and abuse. I am not in a position to tell another parent what best works for raising their child, but I really hope that each parent makes the best decision for their household so that my tax dollars aren't paying for that child's way as an adult.
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