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I have several children and when my mother divorced from my step dad she came to live with me, then my brother came home from Iraq and lived with us and now my grandmother is living with us...it is overwhelming some days but it is a great experience for my children...
I would love to meet some of you.
We did this with my mother in law when the kids were young
Now we have my parents - mom had stroke, dad has cancer - they have now been with us for 1.5 years
I am tired and depressed even with paid helpers - we had exactly 6 months in our married life where it was just the two of us................
I know it's tough but when you start to feel down, think of my situation.
My mom died while i was pregnant with my first.
We moved home a year before we got married to help my grandmother care for her because she had a hip issue and could not walk.
Then she had had pnuemonia 2 months after i got engaged and almost died, she was on a ventilator for 2 weeks. She spent 3 months in the hospital recovering and went to a rehab facility for 2 months. She broke her leg/knee 3 weeks before i was due to get married and had to miss my wedding. She died 3 weeks after my wedding while i was 4 months pregnant of a pulmonary embolism in her lungs. I found out the sex of my child 4 days after she passed away.
I would give anything to SWITCH it around and have taken care of my children first and had my mom around to later care for.
Actually I guess my title is funky - I did not mean rasing your kids to care for old folks -though that has just been the way it works in my family but..........
Being empty nesters [finally] and inheriting your parents without ANY time to just be a couple -- I am sure grandparents who become parents fall into that role too.
We are doing it, but it is sometimes overwhelming...........
I know it's tough but when you start to feel down, think of my situation.
My mom died while i was pregnant with my first.
We moved home a year before we got married to help my grandmother care for her because she had a hip issue and could not walk.
Then she had had pnuemonia 2 months after i got engaged and almost died, she was on a ventilator for 2 weeks. She spent 3 months in the hospital recovering and went to a rehab facility for 2 months. She broke her leg/knee 3 weeks before i was due to get married and had to miss my wedding. She died 3 weeks after my wedding while i was 4 months pregnant of a pulmonary embolism in her lungs. I found out the sex of my child 4 days after she passed away.
I would give anything to SWITCH it around and have taken care of my children first and had my mom around to later care for.
Be thankful for all the years you had with them.
You make a good point - - - - different perspective
Unfortunately, both of my parents passed away before I was 18, and I was almost 21 before I had my first child. So we won't be experiencing this from my side of the family. Now, my in laws are still living, but both are in fairly good health. My mother in laws side has a knack for longevity, and I imagine barring any unforseen circumstances, my children will be grown and having their own families for a while before her health becomes an issue.
My Wife and I had just had our second child and were in the hospital recovery room when I got the phone call that my terminally ill Mom had just been admitted to the emergency room. So I walked from the maternity ward to the ER to help take care of her as well. Try wrapping your head around those conflicting emotions!
My Mom passed almost two years ago to the day. The three years leading up to that date had me getting married and having two children. Things are finally settling down.
It sounds like you may be feeling that life in unfair. It is. I doubt your parents are all that thrilled that they have to be taken care instead of being independent.
It sucks. I know that it does, when do you get back to a time in your life that is about you and not your responsibilities? When does it get "fun" again? Only you can answer that, the only way that it might be fun again is if you redefine what is "fun" and what is truly satisfying. There is one thing that is certain, your ability to change your life is finite, your ability to change the way you look at it, is infinite.
Whatever your choice, please know that I hope that you and everyone else who goes through this eventually finds peace. ( I am not there yet, but I am closer.)
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