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or I am the one with the problem?
How do you feel about a developmentally disabled man in his mid 20's (mental age about 14) playing alone with a 7 year old girl in a bedroom, lights off (twilight not full darkness) laying on the bed together or laying behind the bed where they can not be seen.
When the mother of the girl was asked what her daughter was doing in there she said she was quiet and not bothering anyone so it was fine.
The family of the man can't seem to get the idea that disability or not he is a sexual being, highly interested in females and desperately wanting contact with women. Years ago I put an immediate end to his overly long hugging of my pre-teen daughters.
I am not saying anything happened here but I found the situation bothersome. I don't have a problem with them playing together in a more public area but on a bed out of sight? Am I out of line here?
ummm I don't think you are out of line. I wouldn't allow it with him..or any other male. My daughters (over the age of 8) stopped having anyone but other girls in their bedrooms. At all.
I have raised three daughters and have 5 granddaughters and yes this is totally out of line. No way would I allow any young female alone in a bedroom with a mentally handicapped 20 something male. There may be nothing going on, but better safe than sorry.
Developmentally disabled young men usually have the same sort of sexual urges as anyone else. It doesn't mean he would harm the young girl or even try anything with her, but he may be confused with what is appropriate and what is not. It would seem to me that whoever is serving as his guardian would lay down rules for this young man to follow to protect him from being wrongfully accused or anything else that could come out of this sort of scenario. I think you are wise to question it.
Thanks for the reassurance. I knew I would be crucified if I brought this up to the in-laws. I mentioned it to my husband and he tried to say it was OK. I agree about the young man's confusion but since the family is in denial that he really is an adult I don't see how to get it through. For instance his guardian regular refers to older women the boy knows as his "girlfriend." You know, something like what might happen with a 4 year old boy
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