Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My 14 year old has a great voice, is attractive and has great stage presence. I really want them to try out for the musical....but am meeting with much resistance. How hard do you push? I see parents who push their kids so hard, and the kid goes along and does great things. Then there are parents who say 'she needs to find her own way' or 'I don't want to push them into things and stress them out'. I know very few kids who will seek success on their own, so.....which is right?
14, huh? I think that you should forbid him/her from having anything to do with the theater. No dancing, no singing, no acting. Reverse psychology.
If you don't want to go that route, let's-make-a-deal sometimes works. If your teen isn't totally opposed, dangle a carrot if he/she will audition for one musical.
If that doesn't work, maybe chill, but take him/her to musicals and maybe he/she will get the theater bug!
I'd go with not pushing. Encourage, maybe discuss the pros and cons. But if they don't want to, then back off. You may be disappointed, but its their decision.
I had to do that with my kids. They were all into theatre for awhile then suddenly quit cold turkey without any real reason. We were and still are very disheartened at what could have been something great, but we have to respect what they want, although we do bring it up every so often and can tell the interest is still there, but we don't force them into anything.
My dad pushed me so hard I ended up losing all interest in that thing for life. So don't overdo it.
If it helps, they may come back to it in time when they are ready. But if pushed they may NEVER come back. Keep it in mind.
Have them do it because they want to do it, not because you guilt tripped them into it and their only doing it to shut you up about it. No.
my daughter has diving talent.. liked the sport and now that its a getting difficult she doesnt want to do it. She does this with everything she is faced with. Many things come easy for her and when they get difficult or affraid she backs down and quits. She often says how it was so easy. comes out of the diving meet that she won and says i think i am gonna work on a more difficult dive. But then when it comes down to it she doesnt. I think she wants to but the fear of I dont know possibly failing is pulling her back in gymnastics, diving, school.. So how far do I push. I encourage over and over and over but it doesnt work she still wants to quit. Do i let her?
my daughter has diving talent.. liked the sport and now that its a getting difficult she doesnt want to do it. She does this with everything she is faced with. Many things come easy for her and when they get difficult or affraid she backs down and quits. She often says how it was so easy. comes out of the diving meet that she won and says i think i am gonna work on a more difficult dive. But then when it comes down to it she doesnt. I think she wants to but the fear of I dont know possibly failing is pulling her back in gymnastics, diving, school.. So how far do I push. I encourage over and over and over but it doesnt work she still wants to quit. Do i let her?
how old is your daughter?
I always try to think back how I was at the same age.
And I ask my husband as well. We both came from different backgrounds and environments with our parents, and I like to try to pick the best of the two worlds when trying to figure out what to do with our kids.
Our general rule though, is you can't quit in mid-stream. You must follow through on your commitment, and finish strong. If you choose not to go back next season, that's up to you. But, you have to do something! You have to have something that you like, that you push yourself to excel at, whether it's a sport, music, art, schoolwork, a charity cause, etc.
for all things that take study, talent and dedication to excel the child should have a passion for it and have a drive that pushes them to want to excel. I would not push. I would remind the child that some opportunities don't present itself all the time. will they regret it themselves if they don't do it.
some arts just take a passion and a talent, while others still, the child risks physical injury. gymnastics, diving, horse riding. these sports take a bravery to excel in. I would most certainly not push a child to go for a level that they may be intimidated with. let the child be his own compass. ten years from now will it really be important that they were in the school play or not? only a select few have the passion, talent and drive to be the next meryl streep or olga corbet
Does anyone ever check the dates of these threads before posting? The OP started this 05-02-2009 and hasn't checked back since. I seriously doubt your opinions are being read at this point.
If you look at the "similar threads" below, you will see that they are pointing to old threads; one of them is from 2008. The person who responded was probably looking at other posts, saw the similar ones and responded without looking at the date.
OP- great question. I struggle with this all the time- how much to push and when to sit back. It's hard. I know people who were pushed into careers by their families and they were miserable. On the other hand, I think children need to be convinced to try new things and take chances sometimes. However, when it comes to trying out for the school musical, your teen probably has to have some desire or moderate interest.
My son is naturally inclined towards music. He is taking piano lessons and hates them, though he loves to play the piano.
For awhile, I did let him slack on the lessons. I didn't want to push him. However, after much deliberation I think it is in his best interest to push him to take the lessons, especially since he loves to play.
My son is naturally inclined towards music. He is taking piano lessons and hates them, though he loves to play the piano.
For awhile, I did let him slack on the lessons. I didn't want to push him. However, after much deliberation I think it is in his best interest to push him to take the lessons, especially since he loves to play.
How old is he Margritte? Piano lessons are great, and a lot of people regret not following through on them. Unfortunately they're not enjoyable for a lot of people, and put people off playing when they're kids.
I'd be interested in your decision process to have him continue them. I'm sure you've given it a lot of thought, so I'd love to hear how you came to that choice. It's a hard one, for sure.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
