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Obviously, the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex is NOT working. It's not just the children born out of wedlock. STDs are rampant in MS and until straight- forward sex education with a realistic approach is incorporated into the educational system (beginning a lot earlier than most people want to think necessary) our children will continue to behave irresponsibly and suffer the consequences , in some cases, for the rest of their lives. Unoffically and often so misleadingly, " sex education" is starting in grammer school. Parents, if you don't address this with your children before their friends and classmates do, you may be shocked when you discover just how "educated" they are once you decide they're ready for "that talk". We MUST get our heads out of the sand and accept reality. Middle school kids probably could teach their parents a few things. Kids need the blunt truth about actions and consequences. These "pledges of virginity" are the LAST things on their minds when the hormones kick-in. If you think otherwise, you're deluding yourself.
Parents can still tell their children what is appropiate and what is not. It doesn't hurt if the parent sets the example too. The world is at our fingetips these days, so it is not hard to find the right/helpful information to pass down to the kids. They are not teens yet, so they will listen, especially if their curious. Just because kids have negative influences out side of the home does not make the situation hopeless. Ignorance can be turned into wisdom, even before it is too late. The more the child knows, the more equipped they are to be sexually wise.
My daughter, age 16, got pregnant from a 14 year old. They wanted to keep the baby. The 14 year old got a job washing dishes, went to every single doctor appointment, was present at the birth and has turned out to be a stellar dad. Now my grandson is almost 2. He's happy, healthy, well adjusted and totally the darling of a whole group of teenagers.
I have to help them financially......but other than that.....they are great parents. I took the whole bunch to Disney World a couple of weeks ago. I've never been so impressed in my life in how they were just dedicated to make sure this child was happy all day long.
Maybe we should rethink the age qualifications of parents. Maybe true love is the only qualification needed. Maybe....just maybe....they are more mature than a whole lot of adults who find their kids as stumbling blocks in the road of success than kids who consider this new life a complete blessing.
For every teenage mother that is responsible there are 2 or 3 more that are not. I have a niece that had a baby at 16 and my sister and brother-in-law has been going through hell ever since. They are basically raising this child because my niece has no patience for the baby and the father who is also 16 is off riding skateboards. My sister has 3 other kids two in high school and 1 in college and when they are all home my niece passes the baby around. She was too young and immature to have a baby. I was married and had my son at 29 years old. I was the last one out of all my friends to have a baby because they all had them in their teen years. I remember one time we went to Fisherman's Wharf, one friend who didnt have a child and one that was 15 yrs old and had twins. First of all she couldnt find a sitter so she brought the twins with her. We were having fun while she was not and she actually got mad at us because we would not help her. I vowed that I would never become a teenage mother because you dont get a chance to be a kid.
For every teenage mother that is responsible there are 2 or 3 more that are not. I have a niece that had a baby at 16 and my sister and brother-in-law has been going through hell ever since. They are basically raising this child because my niece has no patience for the baby and the father who is also 16 is off riding skateboards. My sister has 3 other kids two in high school and 1 in college and when they are all home my niece passes the baby around. She was too young and immature to have a baby.
I think one of the problems we have in this country is that when a teenager is facing an unplanned pregnancy and she chooses life, adoption is not presented as an option if she is unwilling or unable to parent. In this day and age, the birth parents can choose the prospective adoptive family and maintain a semi-open or open relationship (i.e, letters, pictures and even visits). Instead of viewing it as "giving the baby up," they should view it as "making an adoption plan" (a conscientious and informed choice) because parenting is not the right choice for their lives at this time. It makes no sense to me why there is such a negative stigma toward adoption when there are thousands of couples who desperately want to be parents and have been thoroughly screened by the state and the feds to even be eligible to adopt.
Sex ed should start when a child is still a toddler. There are things that should be talked about from the time a baby is a baby, not wait until they turn 12 or 14. When they grow up knowing consequences and understanding that controlling the urge will prevent STDs and unwanted/unplanned pregnancy, it isn't so much of a struggle for them when they are teens. When they understand what a baby will do to their plans, or what an STD will do to any future relationships, they also better understand that there are consequences to giving in to the heat of passion in an irresponsible way.
Obviously, the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex is NOT working. It's not just the children born out of wedlock. STDs are rampant in MS and until straight- forward sex education with a realistic approach is incorporated into the educational system (beginning a lot earlier than most people want to think necessary) our children will continue to behave irresponsibly and suffer the consequences , in some cases, for the rest of their lives. Unoffically and often so misleadingly, " sex education" is starting in grammer school. Parents, if you don't address this with your children before their friends and classmates do, you may be shocked when you discover just how "educated" they are once you decide they're ready for "that talk". We MUST get our heads out of the sand and accept reality. Middle school kids probably could teach their parents a few things. Kids need the blunt truth about actions and consequences. These "pledges of virginity" are the LAST things on their minds when the hormones kick-in. If you think otherwise, you're deluding yourself.
Maybe it's having sex BEFORE marriage that's causing all those STDs, babies and problems.
I don't think there's any real shortage of sex or sex education being presented to children today. It's all over the television, and you cannot really find a 12 year old today that has no clue where babies come from. They know. Sex education as it's been taught the last decade or 2 is what's not working.
Maybe it's having sex BEFORE marriage that's causing all those STDs, babies and problems.
I don't think there's any real shortage of sex or sex education being presented to children today. It's all over the television, and you cannot really find a 12 year old today that has no clue where babies come from. They know. Sex education as it's been taught the last decade or 2 is what's not working.
Being exposed to sexual content and being educated in sex are two different things. What would you suggest, keep them in the dark until old enough to have sex? Then what?
When it isn't a mystery and can be talked about freely at home in a sensible way, kids grow up thinking it isn't such a big deal. They also know way early that it can destroy any plans of having the future they want.
I think one of the problems we have in this country is that when a teenager is facing an unplanned pregnancy and she chooses life, adoption is not presented as an option if she is unwilling or unable to parent. In this day and age, the birth parents can choose the prospective adoptive family and maintain a semi-open or open relationship (i.e, letters, pictures and even visits). Instead of viewing it as "giving the baby up," they should view it as "making an adoption plan" (a conscientious and informed choice) because parenting is not the right choice for their lives at this time. It makes no sense to me why there is such a negative stigma toward adoption when there are thousands of couples who desperately want to be parents and have been thoroughly screened by the state and the feds to even be eligible to adopt.
That's true. Another problem is that the schools now treat pregnancy as though it's cute. Girls get pregnant, continue going to school, are even given baby showers at school. They come trotting in with their newborns to show them off to the other girls like some cool show and tell.
Not only that, they're beaming over their WIC coupons and food stamp cards, feeling a new independence in being able to shop for groceries on their own. The birth and medical care pre and post was completely paid for through Medicaid. Many public schools will even give the new mother a paycheck just to show up to school. There is no hardship, no penalty, no stigma.
The girls that don't have kids are the ones made to look like chumps, no freebies for them, no free college, no food stamp card that looks and feels like a credit card.
Being exposed to sexual content and being educated in sex are two different things. What would you suggest, keep them in the dark until old enough to have sex? Then what?
When it isn't a mystery and can be talked about freely at home in a sensible way, kids grow up thinking it isn't such a big deal. They also know way early that it can destroy any plans of having the future they want.
In the past when every 12 year old couldn't explain to you all the various positions, they weren't all getting pregnant. Teen pregnancy is way up -- and we're well into the age of sex education. It's not working. The teachers in the high school here will tell you that the many girls getting pregnant know full well that sex leads to pregnancy, many of these pregnancies are planned, and many of the girls intentionally become pregnant in hopes of forcing her boyfriend to stay -- and of course he most often does not stay around for long. Having his baby is almost like exchanging class rings used to be, a sign of his love or proof she had a boyfriend.
I believe what's missing is the idea of responsibility.
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