Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seriously thinking about sending my two teenagers to my ex - and disappearing where they can't find me! Anyone got so fed up they turned their back on their children?
I have relatives who had irresponsible, rebellious teens who then went on to become slacker, problem riddled adults who made life hell for these relatives well into their golden years. I'm not going to be one of them.
Anyone had to really steel themselves and let the tough love begin? Were you successful?
Seriously thinking about sending my two teenagers to my ex - and disappearing where they can't find me! Anyone got so fed up they turned their back on their children?
I have relatives who had irresponsible, rebellious teens who then went on to become slacker, problem riddled adults who made life hell for these relatives well into their golden years. I'm not going to be one of them.
Anyone had to really steel themselves and let the tough love begin? Were you successful?
No matter what the age...YOU are still the PARENT in certain situations. And no matter what YOUR age, you need to act like the parent.
Harder said than done.
Very little info here other than you are pretty pissed at your teenagers.
You have to fight through it.
But you also deserve a break.
Good luck finding the balance in those two things. I think parents of teenagers struggle with this on a daily basis!!!
Seriously thinking about sending my two teenagers to my ex - and disappearing where they can't find me! Anyone got so fed up they turned their back on their children?
I have relatives who had irresponsible, rebellious teens who then went on to become slacker, problem riddled adults who made life hell for these relatives well into their golden years. I'm not going to be one of them.
Anyone had to really steel themselves and let the tough love begin? Were you successful?
The fact that you want to run away, means that YOU are not in control. (It's usually the teenager who wants to run away. )
Get the book, "Tough Love." Read it. Decide on the rules. What do you want your kids to do, that they're not doing? What are the boundaries?
Hell no, I wouldn't run away from my own kids! You're making things way too easy on them. Get a hold of your Mama Tiger - she's in there somewhere - and get a handle on this situation. Running away won't solve your problem. Stay and fight for your kids, they're worth it.
Now, let's break it down: what's going on that makes you want to take off?
Not an uncommon feeling, but I agree with the others about sticking it out. Running away is just another form of parental abandonment and will likely only make them turn out worse.
Rather than dumping the mess on society how about trying family counseling? Yes, and by all means read the book (Tough Love) others on here have recommended. And keep on keeping on. You brought them into the world, and you owe them good parenting until 18. After that, run like the dickens!!!!!!
What are the rules in your home now, do they have chores? Are they helping out? If not ---- why not?
Teenagers need to learn responsibility. If we do everything for them, they feel entitled, and they don't grow any self-esteem, or learn how to be responsible.
Make them do more for themselves. Don't pick up after them, don't tolerate sassing and backtalk.
My 12-year-old son sassed me last night when he was going to bed, because I asked him to do a simple task that would take 30 seconds. He did it.
Then I hauled his butt out of bed and he got to do the dishes, as well.
Don't put up with disrespect from your teenagers. Put them in check, and give them jobs to do, give them responsibilities. Don't let the entire burden of running the household fall onto you.
Are both of your kids girls, or just the one?
(To answer your original question, YES, at times, I've felt like running away. But that was the signal that told me I was letting them get away with murder!)
I've run away from my kids from time to time. Most people call it going on a retreat, or "business travel." Nothing like a week away from the family to help put things in perspective.
Seriously, sometimes just taking a little time away from the problem, stepping back to get a fresh look at things can help. Gives you a little time to regroup.
I think it's normal to want to get away from a stressful situation, but you still need to do what's right for the kids too. Good luck and hang in there.
IMO, dumping your kids and running away is not "tough love". They need boundaries and punishment if they don't stay within the boundaries. You running away is selfish and is not done out of love for your kids.
Running away isn't going to cause your teenagers to become responsible adults. If anything, it will cause them to become failures.
Regardless of how difficult they are being today, they wont' make your life hell into your golden years unlesss you let them make it hell.
Sending them away, kicking them out, or your running away are not the answers. They are your responsibility.
You've clearly lost control of your household. It's time to take control back. Running away won't accomplish that.
It's time for family counseling, and you also need individual counseling for yourself too because you're depressed and stressed out.
I dare say, if you run away from your children, you are no better than your slacker relatives. You'll be a slacker, problem riddled failure for a mother.
Take a deep breath. Do the right thing. Get control of yourself and your household. The first step should be scheduling a counseling appointment.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
