LI to Lancaster PA what would you do question! (Allentown: transplants, sale)

[Cleanmaxx Brian]

Hi all,
Been visiting here a lot lately and decided to make a post I should also note that I have been researching this to death!

I live in Wantagh and I am considering a move to Lancaster PA. However like any major move, there is issues I am going to give some info with the hope you could say what you would do if you were in my shoes...

I am married with 2 girls ages 3 and 7 and they are home schooled. (No ties to friends or a school)
I work in Customer Service as a manager and my wife works as a RN at LIJ part time.
We purchased our house 8 years ago (probably the best move I ever did!) I did not have much to put down but wanted to "get in". My wife comes from an abnormally close knit family. I have one sister here who I see on occasion (not close) and my father lives on the island of Jamaica.

OK with that said, we are doing OK here...we have no dept at all except our mortgage and my truck payment which will be done in December. That means NO CC bills! I currently have a 20 mortgage at 5.75% fixed and I am into it by 5 years. When all is said and done however, we just can't seem to SAVE anything at the end of the month. Refinancing from a 20 to a 30 yr saves us $300 a month...not worth it IMHO. The next issue is our home. We have a rental upstairs (a very good friend of mine) so that leaves us with the first floor - 2 bedrooms, kitchen, living room... at 1500 square feet. WAY...WAY to small for us! We can't afford to take over upstairs and loose the income to gain the much needed room and bathroom! (which needs to be replaced) So we have been thinking of moving to PA (We have been visiting there for the past 3 years and LOVE it there) Slower way of life, great people, clean air, less breast cancer less congestion, much better cost of living ...well you get the idea. We like it here BUT we NEVER go to the city. Never go to the beach as we hate the sand (We are pool people and our current home can't even have a pool due to power lines and the way it is situated!!!) Heck, I am even tired of Pizza!

So, we are looking at a new or near home there in Lancaster (under 5 years old) with 2500 to 3000 sq ft with taxes 5K or under in one of the most if not thee most desirable areas of the county. Pricing my home aggressively (As I know the market!) I will carry a 50K mortgage there on the new home. (Yup...almost the same as a nice truck loan!) My job informed me yesterday that I could work from home there in PA and loose only 3K off my salary (Give up being a mgr and all the headaches!) My wife however will take a pay cut but after all is said and done, we will be able to BANK close to 1K a month and be into a MUCH larger home that has less problems. (My house is 56 years old now)
My kids want to move.
I want to move!
My wife wants to move EXCEPT...and here is the BIG one...she has family here that is trying to convince her to stay with some of the best guilt I have ever heard! Comments like you are taking my grand children away or we will NEVER see you again and all you want is material things is said all the time. They are even telling these things to my girls! My wife feels that she will miss them but that she can come and visit (3 1/2 drive) and spend the night at their house. My wife is really in the middle here and she is feeling it both physically and mentally. I don't get along with her family...I mean we are civil and they come over for BBQ's but they are nothing more than "my wifes family" and I respect that...that is all! I don't look at them as they are all that bright...Oh and they really don't like me either

What would YOU do if you were in my/our shoes?

[KristyLiz]

I grew up on Long Island (Coram) so I know how hard it is for people to leave that island. Familes are tight, but the cost of living is high and the quality of life isn't as good as it once was (very crowded).

That being said, I will share my motto with you, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

My family has moved around quite a bit, but it hasn't been all that hard for me because our extended family is spread out all over the northeast and so I never had that close family support and therefore don't miss it.

If your wife and her family are anything like I remember my Long Island friends' familes to be, she will be very unhappy moving away - especailly if she doesn't want to go in the first place.

Yea, you could probably get her there with the promise of a nice house and all, but after the novelty wears off, you will be spending every weekend driving back to Long Island (a hellish ride from Lancaster!) because she won't want to miss a birthday party or communion or wedding.

Relocating is tough, so both parties better be on board.

Good luck!

[Cleanmaxx Brian]

Hi Kristy,
"she will be very unhappy moving away - especailly if she doesn't want to go in the first place."

Well thats the problem...she actually WANTS to go but the family is laying on the guilt. Plus I am sure she will miss them being so close (they live 5 min away now)

When you ask her "Besides the family, what is keeping you hear?" she will quickly say "Absolutely nothing!"

[teachbeach]

It sounds as though you are all convinced that it's the best thing for you, your wife and the family. I'm sure in time your jobs will bounce you back into the income level you are at, or even higher, and your cost of living and quality of life will be so much better and brighter. It sounds as though you might even be able to afford a home where they could come and visit and actually stay overnight (maybe that's not such a good thing?).

Your wife needs to focus on what is right for her, you and your daughters...if she sees this as an opportunity to spread her wings and broaden her horizons, as well as that of your family, perhaps the guilt will subside. Depending on where you end up in PA, there is a train to NYC from Lancaster (runs several times daily) and a bus line from Reading to Port Authority. It's easy to get back when/if necessary.

When we first moved here from central NJ, we went back quite a bit for family and friend things, but as we got more involved with people and pursuits here, we found that we have to force ourselves to go back on a regular basis.

The only drawback is that even if we wanted to go back, we'd never be able to afford it, because the house we have here would be double the price, double the taxes, and half the property. My husband and I are probably at the top of our earning potential salary wise, and the quality of life and services are affordable in comparison to what we'd be shelling out in NJ.

[SteelCityRising]

Did you and your wife ever stop to consider the fact that perhaps your wife's family is being selfish in putting THEMSELVES ahead of you and your wife making the decision to better the quality-of-life for your own family? If your wife's family truly loved her, they'd want your children to grow up in the best possible environment. I couldn't fathom laying a guilt trip upon a relative to prevent them from moving away if I thought they were simply seeking a "better life," and we're now spread out pretty far across the nation (Atlanta, Los Angeles, Shreveport, etc.) as a result.

Here are two options I would consider:

1.) Ask your wife's family if they would likewise consider leaving the island in favor of moving to Pennsylvania with you. The housing market here in PA is getting very, very soft as of late, and it is becoming a buyers' market, which will give newcomers purchasing homes here the "edge" for certain in negotations. If your wife's parents are giving you the old "stealing away our grandchildren" excuse, then why not ask them "If you love your grandchildren, then why not come with us?" See! The tables can be turned, you know! LOL! No offense to you personally, but I've been to Long Island before, and I honestly feel you're all getting ripped off financially for a similar quality-of-life that we here in PA enjoy.

2.) Why automatically gravitate towards Lancaster? The drive back to Long Island for anything will be a living hell. A lot of Long Island transplants are moving here to Northeastern Pennsylvania (Poconos, Scranton/Wilkes-Barre areas) where they can be just under three hours from Long Island, and about two hours from Manhattan. The same could be said for the Lehigh Valley area (Allentown/Bethlehem/Easton). Lancaster is very nice, but it just seems odd to me that so many New Yorkers as of late are flocking to it like some sort of "mecca" while cities closer to NY are being overlooked. The cost-of-living in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, for example, might even be cheaper than it is in Lancaster, and nursing positions here are in high demand due to our rapidly-aging population. I'm not trying to steer you away from Lancaster, but I was just wondering if you'd explored all of your potential options here in the Keystone State?

[cincur63]

I am moving to lancaster area also. I am also a RN, the paycut isn't a big one. Lancaster general is a magnet hospital but pays low, hershey hospital is big, compared to NUMC or SBUH, and pays well, has lots of opportunities ( i am interviewing there in a week), it's a 45 min drive from lancaster, unless you move between lancaster and hershey and then it's less. I would move, you will be financially ahead of the game, no more high taxes, no more LIPA and high bills, gas is cheaper. The lifestyle is a little more relaxed, my friend lives in the city of lancaster. I may move to lebanon, it has been rated the second least stressful city in america by sperlings. I am thinking of ephrata or lebanon as it's between hershey and lancaster. There's also elizabethtown. I have so many options. I will be carrying a high mortgage as i will take a beating on my home sale here. But in the end , i will be saving, and that is less stressful to me. Tell your wife to just go , the family will visit, it's a big tourist area plus you have DC and baltimore, and virginia nearby and they will learn to drive out and get over it. I moved to seattle once, and our families got over it. At least it's so close they can just get in the car and go. There is also an amtrak station in lancaster if they don't want to drive. Good luck

[junito]

Guys just be careful where in lancaster u move is not the wost but the inner city has gotten worst im moved here from the bronx so i know what bad is believe me an i know is not the same but as long as you research the areas an be in the out skirts of the city youll be ok but lancaster in all is nice

[Cleanmaxx Brian]

LOL! My old thread is alive!
What timing too! Next week starting on the 19th we will be in Lancaster meeting with a real estate agent and looking at houses. We will also be checking out general areas so that we can finally make our mind up. We are looking into the areas with the best school districts and our house budget is 300 to 350K. It seams there is quite a few homes that will fit the bill at that price point.

The hard part will be selling here on Long Island. However the local newspaper reported that for the first time in a long time, house prices have started to rise!