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Old 03-06-2013, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Florida -
10,213 posts, read 14,897,841 times
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Honestly, I don't mean to sound insensitive, but, 'What difference does it really make?'

People say and do all kinds of things (as do we) and it's not really worth spending a lot of type analyzing it, unless the answer really makes a difference to anything. Spend your time focusing on things that matter.
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:13 AM
 
2,135 posts, read 4,283,678 times
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Also how is your office laid out?

I mean if he walks in and your desk is straight in front...why would you say what you said? Minimize it and be like "what's up". Simple.
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:24 AM
 
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You are taking what he said way too serioulsy! You acted a little sensitive. He tried to say something to put you at ease, and you still freaked out!
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:36 AM
 
48,493 posts, read 97,103,228 times
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I yhink iy was a off hand comment.The key tho is he does care to look at your fincail ifo on lawptop.Not worth your posting if he didn't come around the desl. Seems more a comment o his ahving section 8 tha anyhtig else.
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Old 03-06-2013, 11:56 AM
 
10,642 posts, read 12,226,462 times
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As for the co-worker's comment. I think it was a passing off-hand comment...that clearly the OP just happened not to appreciate, and so it struck him/her the wrong way.

1) Were you using a company computer to do your online banking? If so, should you have been?

2) It always amazes me that people are so concerned about what might been seen on a computer screen. I have very good eye sight, and when I happen to stand near a coworker -- and so I technically can see their screen, I really can't READ what's on it. ONLY because I sort of recognize the general screen format -- can I 'make out' that they have company e-mail open -- but I can't READ the email -- unless I really bend down close to them and the screen -- and intentionally LOOK at the screen to read it. I'd say it's the same for most people.

When you're at a coworker's desk -- can't you REALLY actually read the email unless you make it your business to do so? When you go over to talk or ask a question you might see e-mail open but I doubt you could READ it -- in a 5 second 'did you see this paperwork' kind of situation. Even if you're standing there for a long conversation you'd have to look at the screen -- NOT the coworker to READ anything on the screen.

SAME for the OP's online banking. ONLY if the coworker knew what a particular bank's website even looked like would he even know WHAT you had on your screen in the first place. I couldn't tell you WHAT a given bank's webpage looks like (unless that's my bank too) and even if I did see you had "X" bank website open -- SO WHAT -- a person couldn't really actually read the screen.

No insult meant, but I think the OP -- like a lot of people -- presume people are more interested in what they're doing than others really are. The OP is the one who drew attention to what he/she was doing in the first place. If he/she hadn't said anything the coworker might not have ever known WHAT he/she was doing at all.

As for the co-worker's comment. I think it was a passing off-hand comment...that clearly the OP just happened not to appreciate, and so it struck him/her the wrong way.
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Old 03-07-2013, 05:02 AM
 
3,763 posts, read 12,590,686 times
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OP:

Your main question seemed to be "does everyone assume that everyone else is JUST LIKE THEM".

Yes. Most people assume the way they are doing things (whatever that is - financial management, religion, family behavior, education) is the best way that it can be done, and that everyone else is in the same boat.

One of the reasons we seem to be so intolerant of people doing things differently.

And while I am happy that you seem to be suggesting that you are doing well, you also are coming off kind of judgemental in that first post regarding the person talking to you ("section 8" etc..). Humility is a fine trait in a person - hopefully you have some and just weren't showing it in that post.
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Old 03-07-2013, 08:57 AM
 
1,858 posts, read 3,114,736 times
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It sounded to me like the OP purpose in starting this thread was to toot their own horn about how well they handle their finances compared to others (this co-worker included). In doing so, they made the exact same sweeping assumptions about other's financial conditions that he/she accuses others of doing.

As others have said, the co-worker appears to have been just trying to ease the awkwardness that the OP created with heir comment about not coming around their desk. To me, that was the mostrar noteworthy part of the exchange.
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Old 03-07-2013, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Boise, ID
8,046 posts, read 28,561,627 times
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I agree with what others said, your comment probably caught him off balance, so he made a joke. My mom is financially well off, but she still says "We are all broke, just at different levels" Basically meaning (almost) no one ever feels like they have "enough" money to do everything they want to do. For example, my parents buy houses, cash, at auction and fix them up and flip them, but sometimes there are 2 or 3 they want to buy at the same time, and they can't afford that, so they have to either not buy them all, or find a partner. Some months, all their available capital is tied up in real estate, and paying the bills is a challenge. That means on some level, they are broke, even though they have a lot of assets. So I wouldn't have thought anything about the employee's comment at all.

Honestly, I would have been insulted if my boss said to me what you said to your employee. The right way to keep the person on the other side of the desk would be to gesture to a chair on that other side (assuming you have one) and say "have a seat and tell me what's on your mind" or something similar. Saying basically "hey, nosy, mind your own business", when the employee probably had no intention of looking at your screen, or coming around your desk, and no interest in whatever you were doing, is incredibly rude. Unless the employee had a history of being nosy, or asking what you are doing, in which case, some constructive instruction would be in order, rather than a rude comment.
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Old 03-07-2013, 11:32 AM
 
1,260 posts, read 2,052,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lacerta View Post
I agree with what others said, your comment probably caught him off balance, so he made a joke. My mom is financially well off, but she still says "We are all broke, just at different levels" Basically meaning (almost) no one ever feels like they have "enough" money to do everything they want to do. For example, my parents buy houses, cash, at auction and fix them up and flip them, but sometimes there are 2 or 3 they want to buy at the same time, and they can't afford that, so they have to either not buy them all, or find a partner. Some months, all their available capital is tied up in real estate, and paying the bills is a challenge. That means on some level, they are broke, even though they have a lot of assets. So I wouldn't have thought anything about the employee's comment at all.

Honestly, I would have been insulted if my boss said to me what you said to your employee. The right way to keep the person on the other side of the desk would be to gesture to a chair on that other side (assuming you have one) and say "have a seat and tell me what's on your mind" or something similar. Saying basically "hey, nosy, mind your own business", when the employee probably had no intention of looking at your screen, or coming around your desk, and no interest in whatever you were doing, is incredibly rude. Unless the employee had a history of being nosy, or asking what you are doing, in which case, some constructive instruction would be in order, rather than a rude comment.

In my mind, OP suffers from a bit of "manager's hangover": https://www.city-data.com/forum/work-...r-answers.html
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Old 03-07-2013, 11:41 AM
 
2,094 posts, read 3,667,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Briolat21 View Post
OP:

Your main question seemed to be "does everyone assume that everyone else is JUST LIKE THEM".

Yes. Most people assume the way they are doing things (whatever that is - financial management, religion, family behavior, education) is the best way that it can be done, and that everyone else is in the same boat.

One of the reasons we seem to be so intolerant of people doing things differently.

And while I am happy that you seem to be suggesting that you are doing well, you also are coming off kind of judgemental in that first post regarding the person talking to you ("section 8" etc..). Humility is a fine trait in a person - hopefully you have some and just weren't showing it in that post.



'That is true. This guy works for you and lives in Section 8? Maybe he needs a raise.
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