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Old 01-30-2015, 11:54 PM
 
2,303 posts, read 2,252,514 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondy View Post
We have 4 kids. They are all financially successful.

Ironically, the one we spent the most time and detail discussing money with is the one who took the longest time to get there and is the least successful. Still he's doing fine and I think he will eventually get there.

Theory is fine. In the end, each child will take that theory and apply it their own way according to their personality. The best you can hope for is that if they choose to learn the hard way they will eventually come back around to the values you teach them.

As for saying too expensive, that was short hand for not worth the money, poor quality, wait until its on sale, never pay full price. I'm not spending money on that....again shorthand for you don't get a toy everytime we go in a store, you just got a bunch of toys or maybe next time we come if you still want it or if you want it that bad how much of your allowance are you willing to put up, etc.

Really, this idea that you have to justify in depth to a child why you aren't buying something they "want" as opposed to something they need is silly imo.

And its not the same thing as saying its none of their business per the article.
Like I said earlier, I think it depends on the age. At 5? Absolutely agree, you don't need to explain much. Because I said so is a valid reason for a long time.

When they're 17 and asking for a car or cell phone? That's more deserving of a real explanation beyond "No, I'm not spending that on you." and is much more deserving of an in-depth analysis of why in the Family budget, paying $60/month for junior to have the latest cell phone isn't realistic.

You're saying your kids are all financially successful, which leads to one of two possibilities.

1) They managed to be successful despite a complete lack of help from you(which I seriously doubt based on your presence on this board, and I think you're better than that)

2) You have been teaching them about the value of a dollar and the importance of cost vs value. This at some point ultimately should involve a conversation relative to how much you make, either directly or indirectly. After all, that bag of candy you gave them was a meal to a homeless person. At some point, cost vs income becomes relative. If you didn't express it in terms of income, they must have learned in terms of trade off... either that, or they learned it via possibility one and you didn't teach it.

Whether you taught them that, or you left it to the world to teach them? I don't know, but someone eventually had to, and I think it's poor parenting to leave thing to the world to teach when you could do it yourself.

Last edited by Jeo123; 01-31-2015 at 12:05 AM..
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Old 01-31-2015, 05:31 AM
 
1,212 posts, read 1,855,718 times
Reputation: 1137
I think the best facet of the article is to teach your children how to earn and manage money, not just tell them how much you make, which by itself doesn't do anything.
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Old 01-31-2015, 10:10 AM
 
175 posts, read 156,321 times
Reputation: 420
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
We're honest. We need our kids to know that we're not as poor as they think we are (we live very frugally).

I wish my parents had told me when I was younger. If I had known that my parents had $5mm worth of assets I wouldn't have let them dissuade me from the private liberal arts college that I really had wanted to attend. They were only willing to pay for the flagship state university... an incredibly intimidating and challenging environment for me....
I hope all that is sarcasm, but I don't think it is.
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Old 01-31-2015, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Portal to the Pacific
5,093 posts, read 5,060,802 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrCurmudgeon View Post
I hope all that is sarcasm, but I don't think it is.
It's probably difficult to understand because you probably have healthy family dynamics. Good for you, but please don't judge us who don't.
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Old 01-31-2015, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,478 posts, read 52,509,570 times
Reputation: 70581
Quote:
Originally Posted by arrieros81 View Post
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/01/yo...our-money&_r=0


Am I the only one who thinks that being open and honest about money with your children is a good thing?

Many of the commentators in the article don't agree.
I really like that bringing a bag of money home.
Then they can see how much goes in taxes.
Mortgage.
Insurances.
Utilities.

Like see it with their faces...not some abstract numbers on a piece of paper.

Freakin' genius, but I ain't walking around with all that cash.

Maybe monopoly money or something.
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Old 01-31-2015, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,478 posts, read 52,509,570 times
Reputation: 70581
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
We're honest. We need our kids to know that we're not as poor as they think we are (we live very frugally).

I wish my parents had told me when I was younger. If I had known that my parents had $5mm worth of assets I wouldn't have let them dissuade me from the private liberal arts college that I really had wanted to attend. They were only willing to pay for the flagship state university... an incredibly intimidating and challenging environment for me....
This post makes me a little incensed.

Just bc they had money doesn't entitle you to spend it however you want to.
Wow...so they DID pay for your college? And probably a pretty decent one?

Majorly entitled attitude.

For anyone who says don't tell your kids how much you make bc then they will want to know why you're not buying them something you can clearly afford, you have totally missed the boat.

Not buying your kid something or not paying for something has nothing to do with what you can afford.
You don't owe spending your very last dime on your kids' whims and fancies.
That's ridiculous.

Even at age 3, kids can understand that just bc they want something, that doesn't mean they get it.
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Old 01-31-2015, 11:33 AM
 
3,578 posts, read 3,146,286 times
Reputation: 10684
We've always been open with our kids about money. They don't need to know how how much you make necessarily. They do need to know how money gets made and how to manage it.

My parents never had a credit card until I was in college. They paid for everything with cash or checks. They never had any debt because they never bought anything unless there was money in the bank to pay for it. My kids have always seen us paying with mainly credit cards although we do pay them off each month. I started explaining credit cards to them when they around 4-6 years old. They knew that daddy went to work each day and had a job he did. The company paid him in money that they sent to a bank. The bank held our money for us. When we went to the store, we used our credit card to tell the computer to tell our bank to give the store X amount of dollars. Obviously, there is more to having a credit card, but it was enough for them to understand we were using real money. My then 4 or 5 year old child was in Wal-Mart one day watching a guy use his "money card" to get money from the ATM machine. My son asked the guy if he had a job and he had money in the bank that he was taking out. The guy could have been offended, but instead he told my son he did have a job and that was money he was taking out from the bank. The guy was actually impressed that my son knew enough to ask the questions he did.

We have been able to provide a few money making opportunities for the kids to get them interested in doing something to earn money. They had a glorified lemonade stand back in an old neighborhood that was the envy of their friends. The kids discovered that with a bit of planning and willingness to work, they had an opportunity to bring in a nice chunk of change.
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Old 01-31-2015, 11:42 AM
 
3,578 posts, read 3,146,286 times
Reputation: 10684
Quote:
Originally Posted by flyingsaucermom View Post
We're honest. We need our kids to know that we're not as poor as they think we are (we live very frugally).

I wish my parents had told me when I was younger. If I had known that my parents had $5mm worth of assets I wouldn't have let them dissuade me from the private liberal arts college that I really had wanted to attend. They were only willing to pay for the flagship state university... an incredibly intimidating and challenging environment for me....
I think I understand. There was more emphasis on the bottom line/money spent. Rather than encouraging you to go after a degree that perhaps better fit your interest or talent and put you with other people who shared those interest and talents, you were directed to go somewhere to minimize cost and maybe that limited your potential.
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