Losing all your money in the stock market, twice. (dollars, live, invest)

[Lowexpectations]

Originally Posted by Y_RAZZ88

My dad probably won't tell me to pay him back, since we both verbally agreed that if the money is lost that will be the case. Although I feel like crap and I will pay him back whenever I can get everything sorted out.

"Margin from original gamble" ... I didn't use a margin loan, I had a consumer loan.

My priority would be to pay someone back the money I coughed up not to drop 50k on a wedding.

[Y_RAZZ88]

Originally Posted by Thinking-man

OP, I'm going to assume that you're from India. That's the only culture I know that demands big weddings st crazy costs. I know you probably won't take this advice and that's cool....but what you "should" do is say F a 50k wedding and instead save that money. At the very least, you should have those demanding the big wedding to foot the bill. Ie. Parents, uncles, aunts, etc.
Aside from that, I suggest what others have done so already....invest for the long term....and don't touch it.

Ps. This is coming from a gambler :-)

I'm not from India, I'm from the middle-east. But definitely, a wedding here doesn't go below $50K, as there are dowry costs, wedding costs, and lucrative honeymoon destination costs (all demanded by the woman and her family).

[Y_RAZZ88]

Originally Posted by Thinking-man

OP, I'm going to assume that you're from India. That's the only culture I know that demands big weddings st crazy costs. I know you probably won't take this advice and that's cool....but what you "should" do is say F a 50k wedding and instead save that money. At the very least, you should have those demanding the big wedding to foot the bill. Ie. Parents, uncles, aunts, etc.
Aside from that, I suggest what others have done so already....invest for the long term....and don't touch it.

Ps. This is coming from a gambler :-)

I'm not from India, I'm from the middle-east. But definitely, a wedding here doesn't go below $50K, as there are dowry costs, wedding costs, and lucrative honeymoon destination costs (all demanded by the woman and her family).

In terms of investing in the long-term and not touching it, I think it's too late for now, but I've learned that the hard way and I will do that in the future. I know which stocks to pick, I know fundamental investing, but I've been too impatient in the past (due to the gambling blood kicking in). Next time I'll just drop everything in a mutual fund or ETF and put a lock-up contract on it (if such a thing exists)

[Y_RAZZ88]

Originally Posted by Lowexpectations

No your gambling issue kicked in well before you got to 150k(if that's even true)

Probably, got lucky with biotechs which were on the upward at the time. I sold and bought companies while they were reaching their break-out cycles. But I definitely learned that I don't have discipline to cope with the markets and the emotions of the ups and downs.

[j_k_k]

So the guy comes out and admits he has no business in the stock market and messed up, and promptly everyone starts to heckle him about the mistakes he has already admitted and stated his intent not to make again. Some things about forums really blow, and that's one of them.

Originally Posted by Y_RAZZ88

But enough with my rambling, I just want to know what's the best thing to do now with the money that Im earning and the loan that I have.

I'm planning on getting married by Next March. Marriage here costs minimum $50K ( I dont live in the US), but families here have high standards and high cost of living.

1) Should I try to save money every month and then pay off my loan? (Save $2000 per month for 10 months) = $20,000
2) Should I pay off my existing loan ($1500 installment, 2 yrs) and then take another loan out (longer-term) ($50,000 with $800 installments) to pay for my upcoming marriage?
3) Should I save money and use that money for my marriage, and let the loan term run-down by itself?

As I see it, if marriage costs that much culturally, then I am not sure you can yet afford to get married. It's not for me to judge that cultural requirement, since I don't experience it myself. But I think you should do whatever option you can live with that results in the smallest debt load at the lowest possible rate. Not all debt is bad, but a lot of debt is mostly a lot of bad. At the very least, a lot of debt is a lot worse than a lot of savings, which is what you should strive for long term.

[Y_RAZZ88]

Originally Posted by j_k_k

So the guy comes out and admits he has no business in the stock market and messed up, and promptly everyone starts to heckle him about the mistakes he has already admitted and stated his intent not to make again. Some things about forums really blow, and that's one of them.



As I see it, if marriage costs that much culturally, then I am not sure you can yet afford to get married. It's not for me to judge that cultural requirement, since I don't experience it myself. But I think you should do whatever option you can live with that results in the smallest debt load at the lowest possible rate. Not all debt is bad, but a lot of debt is mostly a lot of bad. At the very least, a lot of debt is a lot worse than a lot of savings, which is what you should strive for long term.

Thanks, honestly I expected to be heckled and nor do I accept that what I did was right, but the situation is a bit messy because I could end up losing the girl if I make her wait too long (cultural pressure from her family as she's getting older), and such. But you're right about the debt load, I will just save every month and live below my means until I can clear my debts and somehow afford to get married.

[calnbs]

You are a gambler, even when you were playing with stocks. You were just gambling, not investing. You need to cut back on that wedding. No need to show off, considering your situation. Pay off all your debt first before getting married.

[j_k_k]

Originally Posted by Y_RAZZ88

Thanks, honestly I expected to be heckled and nor do I accept that what I did was right, but the situation is a bit messy because I could end up losing the girl if I make her wait too long (cultural pressure from her family as she's getting older), and such. But you're right about the debt load, I will just save every month and live below my means until I can clear my debts and somehow afford to get married.

Yeah, but the heckling was utterly unnecessary and tut-tutty. You know and admit what went wrong, and your part in it. Heckling was easier than offering you constructive advice. So was advising you to go against your cultural norms and situation, which might be well-intentioned but is also pointless--it's like telling Israelis to cut back on groceries by purchasing more pork. Great, how helpful.

So, culturally, you want to marry this woman or girl (don't know her age), and it costs something like a year's salary. On top of that, you're in heavy debt to begin with. Here's the only other thing I can suggest: while cultures do vary, the need to make a living exists in all of them. If the fiancée's family gets antsy, it might be culturally feasible to explain to them that you are busy assuring a strong financial future for yourself and her (and probably, their future grandchildren), and that a little more waiting will improve that financial future a great deal. I don't know about your culture, but I know that in mine, potential parents-in-law love to hear that a future son-in-law is glad to sacrifice in order that their daughter can have a better future, and hate to hear that said future SIL has made a bunch of money mistakes without learning from them. In my case, my prospective FIL was accustomed to a long trend of his daughter's lack of money management skills, much compounded by an idiotic ex-husband who was a wealth destruction machine. He was delighted to hear that I had convinced his daughter that we must live austerely until the debt was reduced. Cultures differ, and styles of parental concern differ, but I do think that parental good wishes are a common human factor nearly everywhere. You are doing exactly what one hopes your future PIL would like to see.

[Thinking-man]

Originally Posted by j_k_k

Yeah, but the heckling was utterly unnecessary and tut-tutty. You know and admit what went wrong, and your part in it. Heckling was easier than offering you constructive advice. So was advising you to go against your cultural norms and situation, which might be well-intentioned but is also pointless--it's like telling Israelis to cut back on groceries by purchasing more pork. Great, how helpful.

False. What you call heckling about the culture is actually great advice. Giving in to cultural norms is stupid, especially if it means going into 50k worth of debt when one is already 80k in the hole.

Ps. Stop instigating. It's easy to see through it.

[prospectheightsresident]

Acknowledging that different cultures emphasize things differently, I don't see how you can justify spending $50,000 on a wedding given your financial situation. Note, even if your family or your soon-to-be spouse's family is footing the bill, wouldn't it be nicer to have a cheaper wedding and use the remainder of the money that was set aside for the wedding of getting your financial house in order, especially as you will no longer be legally single?