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Not too smart. You're letting people know you have a certain amount of savings and investments. Who do you think they're going to ask to borrow money from?
When you say "no", you're now the bad guy. You have the money, you should be able to loan it to them, how dare you for not doing that. You know how you avoid this problem? You don't tell them what you have.
You can discuss the importance of saving/investing, but you don't tell people things like "we save 50% of our income", and certainly not online.
You're assuming many things that just aren't applicable for me:
1) We don't have "friends". We have acquaintances and because of my husband's profession and where we reside, statistically speaking, the majority of our acquaintances will have a higher net worth. I have a community-wide reputation of being generous when it comes to sharing my food or giving away things I no longer need (piano, furniture, clothing, jewelry, yoga studio memberships.. heck, I will likely soon be giving away my husband's early 2000's Toyota with < 80k mi), but I take a particularly brutal opposition to giving out money. I don't even give to charities supporting my pet interests (okay, I did recently give $50 to a former classmate who's son suffered a severely debilitating stroke during heart surgery). Why not? Because I think I handle my resources better than most and I don't feel like handing over my money to people who make stupid decisions. Which brings me along to..
2) Like Mr. Money Mustache I think people waste a tremendous amount of their money on things of inconsequence and I like to be an example of how not making stupid decisions over time can lead you to a great life at a low cost.
I'm also genuinely curious as to whether or not people knew their parents' salary and assets growing up, or if it was a taboo topic even then.
I was never given a ballpark figure, but I knew my dad was making some good cash. In high school he told me I would never need to worry about money... but well, things changed a lot for my family... new wife.. new kids...
When my husband and I got married my dad was his green card sponsor so for the first time ever I knew exactly how much he made from the IRS records. It was considerably more than I had imagined and I kinda mad because I had really wanted to go to a small, private liberal arts college close to home and they said "no, it's too expensive" and I simply accepted that as fact. If I had known how much money they had I would have at least pushed back... their yearly income was $500k and this was back in the mid-90's.. it was NOT by any means too expensive for them...
My kids will know everything about us. In fact, if we get this position overseas it's going to be hard on my kids, my 12 year old especially, and he's already told us, "there is more to life than money". And while I agree with him, I do also need for him to understand why we are making the choice to go... several years ago I read a book and it told the story of a father who wanted his kids to understand the value of money so he once had the bank to give him his entire pay check in single dollar bills. He brought home the cash and stacked it on the table and then he started putting it into piles that represented their monthly expenses.. so his kids have a visual representation of what happens to their pot of gold each month. I think it could be a very effective strategy, so I plan to get 100 pennies and put them on a table in a grid. I will mark the last two. The second to last penny will have a sticker that say "us" and the last penny will be marked "1%". I will tell my kids that the pennies represent people and for them to know that if we take this job we will be that penny that says "us" and where it places us and somehow, to understand the significance in regards to social mobility and financial stability.
I'm also genuinely curious as to whether or not people knew their parents' salary and assets growing up, or if it was a taboo topic even then.
It was definitely a taboo topic when I was growing up. I knew my family wasn't poor, but that was about the extent of my knowledge of the family finances.
You're assuming many things that just aren't applicable for me:
1) We don't have "friends". We have acquaintances and because of my husband's profession and where we reside, statistically speaking, the majority of our acquaintances will have a higher net worth. I have a community-wide reputation of being generous when it comes to sharing my food or giving away things I no longer need (piano, furniture, clothing, jewelry, yoga studio memberships.. heck, I will likely soon be giving away my husband's early 2000's Toyota with < 80k mi), but I take a particularly brutal opposition to giving out money. I don't even give to charities supporting my pet interests (okay, I did recently give $50 to a former classmate who's son suffered a severely debilitating stroke during heart surgery). Why not? Because I think I handle my resources better than most and I don't feel like handing over my money to people who make stupid decisions. Which brings me along to..
2) Like Mr. Money Mustache I think people waste a tremendous amount of their money on things of inconsequence and I like to be an example of how not making stupid decisions over time can lead you to a great life at a low cost.
Please, you did a thread not that long ago about oversharing on FB, and how you thought you might lose clients because you post your personal views on certain issues. It was suggested that you have two seperate FB accounts, one for business and one for social.
I'm merely saying you shouldn't go around telling people(including acquaintances) what you have. The one poster gave an excellent example of how their father shared what he has with his brother and it caused hard feelings.
That's very nice that you give away items and helping others. But that doesn't mean people need to know what you have in the bank or investments.
You wouldn't have to worry about handing over money to people who make stupid decisions if you don't go around telling them what you have.
Because they won't ask you, or if they do ask you can tell them you don't have it to loan. Much harder to do when you tell people what you have.
Huh? I save 40% of my gross income. I'm scrambling to do my best to retire in moderate comfort. I'm admitting to a life mistake where I have to do that. If I'd had my act together and not gotten divorced twice, I'd have 4x my net worth and I'd be retired now. I don't walk around telling everyone my savings rate or amounts but I freely admit I've dialed back my spending dramatically to create a retirement war chest.
What huh? That's not what I am talking about. That's great that you're saving 40% of your income.
My point was you let people know you're saving that much, when they want a loan, whose the first person they think of?
We all know how most "loans" turn out, you're better off just giving them the money, because many times the one who loans the money doesn't get it back. Than they get an attitude when the one who loans the money asks for the money or even part of it back.
You go around telling people how you're a saver, they think "well GeoffD has it, he can loan me the money". Well you can't say you don't have it, because you already broadcasted it. And even though the person asking for the money has no reason to have an attitude when you say no, they will.
I wonder how the "ABSOLUTELY don't ever tell anyone else your income!" crowd deals with the reality that in many cases just telling someone else your job gives away your approximate income level? It's hardly a secret that some jobs pay much better on average than others do, while others pay far worse.
(And I don't mean that sarcastically, but as an honest question.)
I had this discussion a couple of days ago with a close friend picking between two jobs. One was huge corporate and the other was a tech startup. I said "what's the comp? $xxxK and yy% bonus versus xxxK and z% of the stock"? I got the $xxx salary part correct to the penny.
Please, you did a thread not that long ago about oversharing on FB, and how you thought you might lose clients because you post your personal views on certain issues. It was suggested that you have two seperate FB accounts, one for business and one for social.
I'm merely saying you shouldn't go around telling people(including acquaintances) what you have. The one poster gave an excellent example of how their father shared what he has with his brother and it caused hard feelings.
That's very nice that you give away items and helping others. But that doesn't mean people need to know what you have in the bank or investments.
You wouldn't have to worry about handing over money to people who make stupid decisions if you don't go around telling them what you have.
Because they won't ask you, or if they do ask you can tell them you don't have it to loan. Much harder to do when you tell people what you have.
And I took your advice. I did separate clients and non-clients into two categories... so thank you.
People don't know how much I have invested and they do not know our income. I do absolutely draw the line with those two numbers.
I talk about saving money a lot though.. I talk about the cheap meal ideas I get from Budget Bytes, I talk about the clothing I buy from the thrift store or cutting my own hair.
People won't ask me for money because my lifestyle is so basic. We drive old, cheap cars.. I don't wear make up or jewelry any more, we barely eat meat, or take vacation.. we don't do these things because of our value system, but also it's very clever... it creates a perception that I don't have anything to offer. If someone needs cash because they can't pay both the mortgage and their new car loan after a roof leak, they won't be able to ask me for help... they'll look at my car and think "hmm, at this point both their junky cars are worth $10k total together so what right do I have asking them to help me with my $25k new car loan?"
Back at my first job out of college, we all started with the exact same pay. We all thought it was safe to discuss, since we already knew the salaries. However -- the next year, the company bumped up the starting salary by 20%, but there was no proactive bump for the current employees.
Can you guess what happened?
Management first denied it, saying it's bad practice to discuss salaries with coworkers (which I agree is true, but so is lying about it). Then they had team-wide meeting with an HR rep to go over the changes, and how it will have a minimal effect on our earnings long-term.
Still no adjustments though. So everybody from the prior year or two walked. Granted, it was only people with 1-2 years of experience, but the training budget per employee was higher than the salary difference, so the company lost out in the end.
I also stay in touch with some of the folks that stayed, and others that left. Those that stayed had anemic career growth, while those that left have doubled or tripled their salaries. One even came back to the original company to manage those that stayed!
I suppose that's a bright side to discussing salaries, even if it's anecdotal.
What huh? That's not what I am talking about. That's great that you're saving 40% of your income.
My point was you let people know you're saving that much, when they want a loan, whose the first person they think of?
We all know how most "loans" turn out, you're better off just giving them the money, because many times the one who loans the money doesn't get it back. Than they get an attitude when the one who loans the money asks for the money or even part of it back.
You go around telling people how you're a saver, they think "well GeoffD has it, he can loan me the money". Well you can't say you don't have it, because you already broadcasted it. And even though the person asking for the money has no reason to have an attitude when you say no, they will.
Easy solution, don't tell people what you have.
I don't have "friends" asking me for "loans". If somebody is in need, my friends don't have to ask. I'm not talking about some moron who maxed out their credit cards and blew their paycheck in the bar. I'm talking about major act of god events that happen to us all. A friend of mine had his house wash away in a flood. I drove 4 hours, opened up my vacation home, stocked it with a month of food, and handed him a key. My boyhood best friend contracted ALS. I bought him a wheelchair van. Another life-long friend had a staph infection in his spine that left him paralyzed. I stepped in an paid a bunch of bills. To this day, I don't think he knows for sure who did it. At the moment, I'm helping out a poverty level high school kid I know.
What huh? That's not what I am talking about. That's great that you're saving 40% of your income.
My point was you let people know you're saving that much, when they want a loan, whose the first person they think of?
We all know how most "loans" turn out, you're better off just giving them the money, because many times the one who loans the money doesn't get it back. Than they get an attitude when the one who loans the money asks for the money or even part of it back.
You go around telling people how you're a saver, they think "well GeoffD has it, he can loan me the money". Well you can't say you don't have it, because you already broadcasted it. And even though the person asking for the money has no reason to have an attitude when you say no, they will.
Easy solution, don't tell people what you have.
I save 40-50% of my income and a lot of my friends, family and coworkers know this as we often have conversations about budgeting, saving and retirement planning. I've not had a single person ask to borrow money from me so I don't find your assessment accurate at all
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